Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2002 => Topic started by: chuck12 on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM



Title: Positive experiences with RW....
Post by: chuck12 on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
Well to all those trolling the board, your arguments are easily countered. I would like to point a few things. First of all, many men from US/Canada do not just go over to FSU and look for (hot) women 10-15 years younger then themselves.

Some men actually fill uncomfortable with a large age difference and look for women close to their own age group. They also want this relationship to be successful as no doubt a great deal of time and money is involved, so no one who goes this route does it without serious thought and initiative.

If the RW is very "young and pretty", then she no doubt will receive dozens if not hundreds of letters. Therefore her options should be very great such that she can now pick/choose who she desires to be with. If she ends up with someone older then her, then so be it. No one twisted her arm or foreced her over here and not all RW's are looking just to get out of their country. Many are fiercely loyal to their respective cities/countries, deeply rooted with family and friends so leaving is not an easy decision.

Most RWs look elsewhere for the simple reason they can not find in Russia, a decent employed RW, (who doesn't drink, nor abusive, and faithful). Whatever the reasons, if someone would like to list ALL the dating agencies providing a rough total of all the number of girls listed looking for foreign men, one would think 9/10 women in the FSU are listed on one agency or another . The average life span for a Russian male is 52-55. Alcoholism is a high percentage among men not to mention abusiveness and adultery. So, for all those balding, pot bellied Americans in their 40's or 50's, if you are sincere with strong family traditions, of good moral character and hard - working, yes, you would be definitely a "Great Catch" for some RW.

I have traveled to Russia last September after corresponding with a very sweet girl from Volgograd. Last month we spent a week in Paris together. My experience has been absolutely fantastic and the more we get to know each other the better the relationship. Her beliefs and goals are much different then AW, but other then that she is great to be with, terrific sense of humor, sincere, loving and caring.

If you are just starting to look overseas, there are a few pitfalls you need to avoid, my advice is to search out a respectable agency who does some screening with their women and takes the time to get to know them.  If you are an alcoholic, abusive, paranoid or jealous type, then you best change your ways or stay home.



Title: Re: Positive experiences with RW....
Post by: omar on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Positive experiences with RW...., posted by chuck12 on Feb 20, 2002

The alcoholic or abuser should join a recovery program first and then visit Russia.  And some of the Russian women have problems and so maybe they will gain insight from the recovered person. The US leads worldwide in recovery programs


Title: Re: Re: Positive experiences with RW....
Post by: Mike on February 21, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Positive experiences with RW...., posted by omar on Feb 20, 2002

I'm a recovering alcaholic for the past 9 years. I would like to see them get help but the problem is so spread out in their culture that it may be impossible to even put a dent in this problem. Even at a funeral it is considered very rude not to drink Vodka!
Mike


Title: But... Where is the logic???
Post by: PrincetonLion on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Positive experiences with RW...., posted by chuck12 on Feb 20, 2002

You say:

"Alcoholism is a high percentage among men not to mention abusiveness and adultery"...

But, pardon me, usually an adultery involves a man and a woman together! Or Russian men are gays
also?
I wonder how many of you consider that all Russian women are angels and all Russian men are
degenerates... It is simply logically impossible! If all the men are alcoholics, all the women
should be alcoholics as well! If all the men are rude and abusive, ignorant and uncultured,
all the women should be the same in the same society! Where is the logic???



Title: Re: But... Where is the logic???
Post by: Mark W on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to But... Where is the logic???, posted by PrincetonLion on Feb 20, 2002

If men are alcoholics it in no way is logical that women must be also.  This would be one reason why the women outlive the men by as much as 15 years.  Also if men are abusive women might actually act as intelligent human beings and go look for a better place to live, thus explaining the 150,000 profiles of FSU women on the net.


Title: This is just a market...
Post by: PrincetonLion on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: But... Where is the logic???, posted by Mark W on Feb 20, 2002

Also if men are abusive women might actually act as intelligent human beings and go look for a better place to live, thus explaining the 150,000 profiles of FSU women on the net.
We have 150000 profiles of FSU women on the net just because there is a demand of them at the market...
If Western women were interested in Russian men, there were 150000 profiles of men... This is nothing more than a market, and it obeys pure market laws...
Do you think that Russian men are less desperate to flee Russia than women?


Title: No, I made a mistake...
Post by: PrincetonLion on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to This is just a market..., posted by PrincetonLion on Feb 20, 2002

There will be not 150.000, but 15.000.000 of Russian men! (100 times more...)


Title: Re: Positive experiences with RW....
Post by: NK on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Positive experiences with RW...., posted by chuck12 on Feb 20, 2002

(snip)
"Most RWs look elsewhere for the simple reason they can not find in Russia, a decent employed RW, (who doesn't drink, nor abusive, and faithful)."
(snip)

...and I thought lesbianism wasn't all that prevalent in the FSU. Oh, well shows how much *I* know! :-)

(snip)
"So, for all those balding, pot bellied Americans in their 40's or 50's, if you are sincere with strong family traditions, of good moral character and hard - working, yes, you would be definitely a "Great Catch" for some RW"
(snip)

I noticed you said "some" and not all. Very wise. Everyone's an individual and individual preferences vary. However you have to be careful in how you define a "great catch" What does this mean? Does it mean she'd find you acceptable to settle down with as a life partner even though there's 15 or more years of age difference between the two of you? Or does it mean she's willing to marry you if it means getting out of the country and getting a green card - at which point she'll be gone and looking for a new man among the local Russian immigrant community. Men (or women) who think they're in love with someone after a very short time period are gonna get burned big time. Some of these relationships may in fact work out, but many, many more do not. No one knows the numbers for certain, because the agencies don't keep stats on this kind of thing. (and I think we all understand why)

And regarding the popular stereotype of Russian men -- it sounds as if you're buying into all the mantras that all they agencies keep repeating. There ARE very good Russian men - great fathers husbands. If a guy claims to love a culture so much that he's determined to marry a woman from that culture, then he should have an appreciation of the culture overall -- not just the gorgeous women in short skirts.

And Chuck's last few points are sound advice for everyone

Niall



Title: Trying to keep everything in perspective...
Post by: chuck12 on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Positive experiences with RW...., posted by NK on Feb 20, 2002

NK, when I mean "great catch", looks is not everything. There are plenty of men who look for compatibility, sharing same interests and beliefs etc, she may be good looking or just average. Same with RW, I'm sure not all are looking for young, wealthy, hollywood playboy type Americans? I would think many RW's are looking for someone they can trust, who is honorable, decent, loyal and fun to be with. He may not be the best looking or be competing in the next downhill skiing event, but he may make the RW very happy.
If she is just looking for a green card, hopefully the man has a good enough judge of character and can put the blinders down for a few minutes. When I mean "great catch", many of these women are looking for a man with good moral character etc, and if she can live in a little more comfort and raise a family, go for it. Life in the U.S. is no bed of roses either, its not all "disneyland" over here, so for those that think they are coming to candyland and look for a greencard to get out will undoubtedly have a rude awakening.


As to Russian Men? I was not trying to stero-type them and not obtaining info/heresay from agencies but from what I found reading Russian Papers and surfing the net on statistics etc. It is a fact that ave life span of a RM is in the mid-50's. If I remember correctly I think alcoholism plays a large part in this. Domestic abuse and extramarital affairs are high. Of course there are decent RM, but obviously they are not in high numbers else why are so many RW looking abroad. They (RWs) are known to be the bread-winners, highly educated and are quite self-sufficient, so they have learned to rely on themselves w/o the need of a spouse/partner.

Talking of age difference between AM and RW, this also exists between RM and RW. What are the chances of a RW who is over 30 marrying a RM? and if she has a child from a previous marriage what are her chances? slim to none? Why? Because a very eligible RM can have his pick of girls 10 to 15 years younger then her and many men do not wish to raise someone else's children. I find this to be less true among american men.

All I'm saying is who the hell cares what the age difference is or where you meet someone that you want to make a life-long commitment with. If two people are sincere towards each other and want to give it a go, great. If a relationship is not successful it is likely due to other factors that were ignored earlier.



Title: Thanks!
Post by: PrincetonLion on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Positive experiences with RW...., posted by NK on Feb 20, 2002

Thanks Niall! As the Russian man, I appreciate your letter!


Title: Re: Re: Positive experiences with RW....
Post by: Dude on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Positive experiences with RW...., posted by NK on Feb 20, 2002

NK,

 I hate to inform you about how wrong you are but I suppose I will.
 The INS has a study that tracks all Eastern European marriages since the early 90's. The results are 85% after 5 years. Since the study is very young it may go up from 85% sucess rate. What part of these statistics do you not understand?
 As you pontificate on this board try to get your facts straight troll.

DUDE



Title: Re: Re: Re: Positive experiences with RW....
Post by: NK on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Positive experiences with RW...., posted by Dude on Feb 20, 2002

Well Dude, you've certainly humbled me. If your information is true (as it surely must be) then I apologize for the misinformation. However I would urge you to read my profile and learn a little something about me before you go labelling me a troll. I have been a registered member here since May 2001 and I have frequented this board for well over two years now and I had lengthy correspondence with no less than 4 RW during a two year period. However I soon abandoned the project since I started a new job and my responsibilities changed and I simply don't have the time or resources this pursuit requires. Hence that's why I don't post as often as much as I used to now. And at any rate, I think I've found that special lady (she's Asian incidentally, not Russian)

Niall



Title: Provide Your Source - Something More Definitive Than "The INS" . . .
Post by: Dan on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Positive experiences with RW...., posted by Dude on Feb 20, 2002

I assure you it will be well-received - but there are more than a few pretty learned guys on here that have tried to find such statistics and have come up dry.

And BTW - I certainly would NOT consider a study that has been underway since the "early 90's" to be "very young."

Please cite your sources.

Thanks,

- Dan



Title: Re: Provide Your Source - Something More Definitive Than "The INS" . . .
Post by: Dude on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Provide Your Source - Something More Def..., posted by Dan on Feb 20, 2002

Hi,
 
 Sorry about coming on so strong towards NK as I thought you were being a troll..lol.."My sincere apologies."

My source is in the book Wedded Strangers by Lynn Visson. I'm gonna locate the ezact page soon so you can reference it. Unfortunately I leave for Moscow in less than 24 hours so I may or may not find the exact page and source in time.

It seems there study is very good because they have the paperwork to run it up against. I'm almost 100% sure this study started in the early 90's and is still in practice. The results are good but one bad experience tends to magnify a lot in many people's mind.

DUDE



Title: Hmmmmm
Post by: Patrick on February 21, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Provide Your Source - Something More..., posted by Dude on Feb 20, 2002

I stay abreast of any reports issued by the INS or studies commisioned by Congress regarding MOB, but I haven't seen anything like what you've mentioned.  Can you provide a footnote from the book siting the source of the information and any publication data that would allow myself (and others) to access the report itself?  If it can be found, I'll add it to the INS report section of the site.


Title: If the INS made those statstics then it is full of mistakes!
Post by: Mike on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Provide Your Source - Something More Def..., posted by Dan on Feb 20, 2002

For those of you about to deal with the INS you will soon see how efficent they are. Wait until you've filed your I-129F and you're going crazy waiting for it to be approved. You'll get a notice saying how long it may take, then you can add twice that amount of days then you'll have a closer idea of your wait! Or wait until you get into the other steps involved and procedures and you'll come to a conclusion they have no idea what they are doing. (wink)
Mike


Title: Good Points n/t
Post by: tim360z on February 20, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Positive experiences with RW...., posted by chuck12 on Feb 20, 2002

nt