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Let get this place back on track.

I am new, but have been looking at this idea for the past year and a half. read alot and feel that I can find the lady I can spend the rest of my life with in russia. I am ready to start writing to a few ladies. one thing I have learned here is write to more than one. I was going to just write to one, but see now why i should write to more.

question 1, for the guys that have never been over yet. where is the best place to start looking and writing ot ladies, Russia or UK. and city???  pros and cons of each

question two. I ma 51 years old and I want to stay more in my age lady. say 40 t0 45. do you see this age group at the socials?

questions three. for the ladies married to america men. what do you feel is the best way to help a russian lady adjust to coming to the united states. I knwo i am not at this point yet, but i am a real positive person.

Thank you for your help

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

Hi Terry,
first of all, there are almost no fat ladies in Ukraine and Russia.  Your question #1:  Which city is the best, well of course the best city is the one that has the lady that you like the best.  I mean if you are considering travelling all the way to Russia or Ukraine, then I'm sure you will consider travelling to any city for the best lady.  Why would you go to only Moscow if the lady for you is in Novosibirsk or why would you go to only Kyiv if the best lady for you is in Moldova, Kyrgystan, Uzbekistan, or Kazakstan?  The great thing about the internet is that you can go to a dating site, enter your search criteria and see a list of ladies that are the age you want, the tallness or shortness you want, smoker or non-smoker, and so on.  So try some searches on A Foreign Affair and a dozen or so other sites and then see if the ones you like are mostly in any particular city.  Then once you find a lady that interests you and you get a correspondence going with her, continue to search only in and around her city for your backup ladies.  Then get a visa for that country, airfare, lodging, interpreters, and go visit your lady for as long as you can.  
Question #2, no, your age group will not be at the socials.
Question #3, make sure she speaks English or get her enrolled in a class, and make sure she learns to drive, and get her some outside friends and interests and other things to keep her busy when she is not working.  The more idle they are, the faster they get homesick.  (I am passing this answer to #3 on so you don't have to read the archives.)
And finally, do not send any money to the ladies that correspond with you, unless it is a small amount for e-mail that is direct to her and not through an agency.  I've sent a lady travel money to meet me and make it more convenient for me not to have to travel to her city but this was after a whole year of correspondence and I figured after a year I should find out if I can trust her and I could trust her but she ended up being the worst personality which is why the back up plans are good.  So also in addition to having ladies that you have written to as back ups and bringing their phone numbers with you on your trip, you should go to a local agency and meet ladies while you are there if plan A goes bad.  The way that works is you look at their photo albums with the brief profiles and pick out a long list of ladies and pay $125 to be introduced to 5 of them over the course of your stay.  They will go through your list and find 5 that can and will meet you.  They will spread the 5 ladies out to one or two meetings a day and then how you proceed after each introduction is entirely up to how well each meeting goes.  I had success all three ways, writing, social, and the local agency.  Well, limited success, no engagement yet.

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

At fifty one you could find someone from 35 onwards.  I suggest at first you try Kiss.com, dating.ru and other free list boards.  This will help you get to know some of the ropes... and if you wish you can follow up with the agency path...  It is a learning experience and no one option is a perfect solution or path to tread...  each to their own

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

I met a really nice 45 year-old on my trip to Chervnitsy. I think I even have some photos of her at home. I'm out of state until Friday but if you remind me, I'll send them to you.

She is a school teacher, has an 11 year-old daughter and is very refined yet seems to know how to let loose. I only spend one evening with her along with a group of 5 other people but I left there determined to help her find someone.

I'm not an agency and I have nothing to gain. Just let me know if you'd like more info.

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

1) We haven't figured out whether Russia or Ukraine is a better country to find women.  We just assume they're both good.  It's a little more trouble to bring a woman from Ukraine because they have to go to the US embassy in Poland.  As far as cities go, the largest tour cities are Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Kiev and Ekaterinburg.  You are likely to search all over for the woman you want but keep in mind where the major cities are.

2) Most women at socials are in their 20s and 30s.  You will see older women at socials but that isn't what most men are looking for.  Most men want a much younger women so the older women don't come.  Start writing women before you go over to get something started.  Don't go over to me women cold, you won't get anything going in the short amount of time.  I went over on one tour and got to meet the women I wanted but they were nothing like I hoped.  If I had written them I would have known that.  You can't just show u in a city and expect all the women to come running when you call.  Find some women to write to and then arrange for them to meet you at a tour city or arrange a private tour to their town.  Tours are a good way to go for first timers because Russia and Ukraine aren't as tourist friendly as other countries.  

3) I don't know.  

Use the search engine above and search on the term "basics".  I wrote some stuff a while back for beginners.  

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

These seem like some good questions Terry!
I'd suggest you keep reading,ignore the nonsense post and check out the archives.
Usually,10 to 15 years difference is no problem from what I've seen.I think it simply reflects how much more mature RW are in comparison to AW.
I keep in contact with a few of my wifes' RW friends living in Kyrgyzstan.I'd be happy to send you a few photos of them along with their names and e-addresses.Who knows ???
Best of luck with your search.Seems to me there simply is no substitute for a trip there...

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

1. DO place a personal ad.

2. Do NOT go to a social. The average age is lower than you are looking for, and when the young twenty something approaches you, it's easy to lose your focus.

3. As for city... doesn't matter. Best bet is to go to a good site.. like Lifetime Partners, FirstDream, or Scanna, (yes there are plenty of others, but those are my personal preferences...) and do a search for the kind of lady you want. Narrow it down to the city later.

Also, consider hiring a consultant who will manage all of this for you. RW, a frequent contributor (look up her profile), will take on a client, and set it up so you pay her --mainly-- AFTER you are married. A wonderful approach, if you think about it, because it means that you both share the common goal, then. Some of the larger agencies, frankly, are more incented to keep you searching, since they make money on your search, not your marriage.

RW's service, Firstdream, and LifeTime Partners are different.

BTW... firstdream has a page devoted to ladies who would consider a mature man.

Oh... UkraineGirls International also has some older ladies on it, but its not as active as it once was.

4. Sit back. Relax. And enjoy the journey. You're in for a bumpy ride, but it will be the most interesting years of your life...

(And, yes, I've been over...)

... in response to Re: here is a few questions, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 12, 2002

Thank You Mark

I like th e idea of this RW service. when you say place an ad. where are you talking about placing this ad. I woudl like to be able to talk to this lady that has the RW service

Thank you

... in response to Re: Re: here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

n/t

... in response to Re: here is a few questions, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 12, 2002


Ignore the bickering and in-fighting

Some guys on here hate each other. Their battles are juvenile and petty... You will soon know who all of the players are, and learn to ignore their sniping.

...but overall this is a great place for information.

Welcome.

... in response to here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

Terry, what you may want to do is place a newspaper ad. Don't listen to Ryan about personal ads because he'll only lead you to big city scammers. One thing you have to understand is that most RW do not have access to the internet and most in your target range do not speak English.

It depends on the type of woman you are looking for. If you want a big city gal, then personal ads in cities is fine. Just remember that RW in the larger cities are much different in family upbringing, social outlook, morals, and many other factors than village RW.

I would not count on "socials" for finding the right woman. Most of the women at the big socials are not necessarily the right women to hook up with. Hook-hook up with maybe.

If I were you, I would go to the Firstdream.com website and read about personal newspaper ads. Call Jack when he gets back and let him explain it to you in detail. You will find that he has enlightening insight into the process and everything he says makes sense.

You should have no problem finding a good RW between 35 - 45 years. The problem you're going to have is having to choose between all the good ones, because there are many more great women in your age range available than RW who are younger.

-blm

... in response to Re: here is a few questions, posted by BarryM on Feb 12, 2002

Lead him to Big city scammers?  What is that?  

You mean I could lead people to paying a little to place an add in a newspaper as opposed to going to Jack and paying $300.  What are you on man?  (Send some to me ;-))

Note: You have to be good looking to place an add in the newspaper or you will get little return...  Yes the newspaper does seem to get less scammer women.  You know many of the women that replied to my newspaper add were butt ugly...  So of my 35 letters I have about 5 decent women and they are decent looking...  No HOT babes... I am not looking for arm candy.... Just to let you know...

Please shut up and talk about chuch stuff or something you know a little about....
Ryan

... in response to Re: Re: here is a few questions, posted by Ryan on Feb 12, 2002

Not interested in butt ugly, here , in south carolina have a lot of that, well big butt ugly. I have no trouble getting dates here, just try to find a women over 40 here that does not need to lose 50 lbs. now that is hard to find.  i like the idea of this RW lady that someone was talking about. that sound like it may be a good way to go about this. any one know how I can get in touch with her?

... in response to Re: Re: Re: here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

Dan, or a few others about him.

-blm

... in response to Re: Re: Re: here is a few questions, posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

Yes the FAT issue with women on U.S.A. is way out of hand.  In FSU area this is really not the case but you can get some real scary lookers.  You have to try a little of everything to get your face out there but do not spend lots of money doing it...  You can do this for very little money if you play the game right...  I learned from my mistakes on this issue...
Ryan

... in response to Re: here is a few questions, posted by BarryM on Feb 12, 2002

Everytime I read this post of yours it makes me sick...  "Enlightening Insight" ....  Many more in his age range available?  Where are you getting this from?  Do not count on "Socials..." this your personal experience?

My god boy stick to your bible hunting thing and shut up...  I am sure Jack would even be slapping you upside the head for this post...

... in response to Re: here is a few questions, posted by BarryM on Feb 12, 2002

Berry for one what do you know about this you have never even been to the FSU area...  My god just shut up!!!

I have little opinion on this issue for you but hey..  If BerryM writes then I'll give you my prespective...  

At your age I would NOT suggest adds in the news papers.  You should go to an agency...  You will get less scammer women in your age group pay the money, meet some woman and have a great time.  The language thing could be an issue.  Finding a decent agency is the key...  Yes Agencies for these guys could be the answer if he knows how to play it right and that is not so easy...  At least your not looking for some chick 20 years younger and arm candy like all the rest of the old guys on this board...  

Good Luck...

... in response to Don't listen to BerryM he has issues...., posted by Ryan on Feb 12, 2002

What do you mean old guy:) I,m in really good shape, run 2 to 3 miles each monring, at 5:00 in the morning. LOL really

... in response to Re: Don't listen to BerryM he has issues..., posted by terry on Feb 12, 2002

Sorry Terry didn't mean to lump you in with the likes of KenC and Jack etc...  I don't know anymore than BerryM does about this whole thing but I can tell you what I experienced as I have at least been to the Ukraine...  Lets just hope Pat deletes all this garbage...  Yes I add to it but to sit back and listen to Berry spew is crazy...

You will do fine just pick and choose wisely to whom you take advice from...  It is usually a little bit from everyone, don't just lay it all down in one place as everyone finds his own way.

Please BerryM just shut up!!!! (Had to add that in again)

... in response to Don't listen to BerryM he has issues...., posted by Ryan on Feb 12, 2002

listen to Ryan. He seems to be quite fluent in that. That is his stated purpose although he doesn't mention it too much anymore because he gets the crap pounded out of him by the rest of the board.

-blm