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Flyboy here.

I haven't visited this board since I left to meet my fiancee in Moscow for her interview in Aug 01.  I see some of the same people are still lingering here... wsbill... Ken C

I am married since Oct 01 and it's been quite the thrill.  Our adjustment continues as it has been everything I expected and much more.  Bottom line, it's been tough, but not impossible.  We faught like cats & dogs the first few months.  Mostly about wedding details, which is probably normal.  I got her mom here on a VV (Visitor Visa).  It was easy because I visited the embassy during my visit to her city and e-mailed the embassy when I got back.  They remembered me when her mom showed a picture of us together.  They gave her the VV without any docs from me.  They knew it was legit.  Her mom was a blessing.  She joined in during the arguments when my (fiancee) and I were at it.  Her mom usually chewed her out for fighting with me.  We laughed about it afterwards because I would ask her if her mom disliked me for any reason and my wife says she was almost always defending me.  She said her mom was trying to teach her "how" to live with a man.  I understood because my wife always lived with mom and I was the first man she has ever lived with.  At any rate, things are going well and we still have our disagreements, but we get through them much quicker now.  Heck, it's only been 6 months.  I shouldn't complain.  It's a continued learning experience for both of us.

We got her 485 filed and are waiting for response.  Getting her SS card and EAD was no problem.  She has been taking English classes for free through the school district ALP/ESL (Adult Learning Program/English as Second Language).  Twice a week in the evening.  They even provide childcare for my daughter when I scoot to the airport to work on building my airplane.

My wife is from Azerbaijan.  She was raised in Azeri culture and knows only about russian traditions introduced to Azeri when it was Soviet Union.  I don't think she is a "typical" Russian woman (pardon me).  But then again, I don't think I am a "typical" American man.  It's a long story and I got a lot of sheet about on this forum, but we met by mistake.  I was supposed to meet another women I met previously on the internet.  I never met her because she chickened out at the last minute.  I wondered into a restaurant, sat down, looked up at the waitress... and... I will never forget that feeling when our eyes met.  I still get the same feeling every morning I wake up next to her and see those gorgeous greens.

I have to say thanks to this forum.  I got a lot of info from here during my participation which helped me in my endeavor.

Comments and some things I have learned since living with my Russian wife...

- Borsch really is a natural laxative!
- Communication and frustration are good friends.
- When she yells at me in Russian, she is so... adorable.
- I don't like mayonaise on my eggplant or anything else that isn't  a sandwich.
- It's important to understand the principle of hanging clothes on a luandry line rather than putting them in the dryer machine.
- 50/50 means 50mgs of vodka for you and me.
- Never point out the fact you paid lots of money to get her here - oooh that got me in TROUBLE... but only once. :-)
- Love is not language specific.
- Venison tastes like lamb to a russian woman.
- Making pasta from scratch is more fun than buying it in a box.
- Caring is not language specific.
- The INS system really works...slow.
- Are all russians natural born ice skaters???

Flyboy

... in response to Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Flyboy on Jan 23, 2002

Or I should say that I may have been one of those that raised an eye when I read your story about meeting your future wife and proposing in one week and making some cautionary comment to you.  If I did not say anything I certainly was thinking it. I posted under Greg or Greg123 back then.

Of course, I wish  you the best. There is no doubt a marriage like yours could last a lifetime and a marriage preceded with all the waiting time and precautions can fail.

I would encourage you to continue to return and give reports.

Normally, when you marry an AW - the first six months are heaven. Notice that many of the AM/RW marriages are the opposite. Hopefully the opposite trend continues - what I mean is the AM/AW marriage not uncommonly ultimately goes the opposite direction - whereas hopefully the AM/RW marriage also goes the opposite direction of just getting better. Several have posted this experience. I hope yours is the same.

... in response to I was one of them, posted by thesearch on Jan 24, 2002

Yep, i remember you.  No hard feelings.  I've always been the kind of person who goes left when everyone else goes right.  It kinda motivates me.

There is a song that i like by Kate Bush.  There is a line that says, "Every old sock meets an old shoe."  We danced to that song several times at our wedding reception.  I think it came on again that night at home... but I can't remember, there were too many clothes flying :-)

This makes me think of something i have learned through my wife meeting other RW.  They all hated it if they got married in a courthouse.  Traditional weddings seem to be the best.

Flyboy.

... in response to Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Flyboy on Jan 23, 2002

I guess my wife settled down to my lifestyle very quickly, and was soon up and running the house without any instructions from me..washer and dryer run almost all day it seams and she took very quick to the dish washer (smile).

Some of my observations:

Russian cuisine using American products (very tasty)

She did start out by putting mayonaise on everything from Borsht to potatoes...but is now addicted to sour cream.

Yes, I get scolded if I walk around the house in bare feet or outside in my house slippers (she thinks I will get a disease) LOL

Never kiss under a door way...bad, very bad...

I get brownie points for sending her text messages on her cell phone while she is at her ESL classes...she likes to be thought of at all times..

Never go to bed angry, or ignore her when we have a disagreement...it is worse than a death sentence to her.

The first time I took her to a "all you can eat buffet" was like a dream come true for her...she said a place like that would go out of business in a week in Russia...people would eat untill they exploded.

Cake and chocolate does not last very long in our home, she will get up in the middle of the night to sneak a piece...and then have a pice for breakfast!
American cake, especially chocolate cake is to die for...or fight over...

My 7 y.o. stepson:  He understands everything anyone tells him after 4 months, but talks to himself in russian ..
Academically he is average in school, somewhat lazy to study and is only good at math. He is far behind in what he knows from what my daughter did at his same age.

My wifes has met several Ukraine women, and enjoys the company of a few but does not like to socialize with them too much. It is funny to her that they all gossip about each other, so she has learned to keep her mouth shut about what she knows about each...very wise!

Some of my observations for now...

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by apk on Jan 24, 2002

apk,
Your post made me smile.  A cake, pie or a box of cookies last one day in my house no matter how big they are.  When Lena first came here, we went grocery shopping.  I bought a large bag of Chips Ahoy cookies.  The next day my son was looking for the cookies.  All gone.  If I didn't eat them and my son didn't eat them, it had to be Lena.  OK, OK, so Lena likes Chips Ahoy.  The next time, I bought 2 bags of cookies.  I don't remember the exact amount of time, but in no more than 2 days, they too were all gone.  I know if I don't cut myself a piece of cake, pie or have a few cookies immediatly upon them entering our home, I won't have a second chance!  LOL  
Buffets!!!!!!  Lena's idea of Heaven on earth!  Once Lena almost got us tossed from a Chinese buffet because she ate so many mussels and shrimp.  She didn't mess with any "filler items" like rice or noodles, but she was wearing out the carpet running for the mussels and shrimp!!  The wait staff started gathering and talking about her and the manager watched her closely.  The waiter brought our bill to us.  It was a not so subtle hint that we were done eating.  LOL.
KenC

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by apk on Jan 24, 2002

Bad.  Very Bad...

I even got in trouble when whistling to the Christmas tunes in the grocery store...

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by apk on Jan 24, 2002

I find it interesting reading about these types of experiences. Most of the time these reports, such as yours, endear me to FSU women.

I forgot, if I might ask, what is your age spread again?

... in response to thanks for the post, posted by thesearch on Jan 24, 2002

I am now 46, and my wife is turning 40 next month.

... in response to Re: thanks for the post, posted by apk on Jan 25, 2002

Well the age police can not touch you :))

Congats on getting her here and continued good luck to you both.

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by apk on Jan 24, 2002

I am surprised that we Americans are still alive when walking outside with no shoes on. If this act of stupidness doesn't kill you it will cause her to see you as a peasent. I thought she would be happy that I was using my slippers when going out to the car instead of no shoes at all, or worse yet my socks. I soon learned I was WRONG!
Mike

... in response to Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Flyboy on Jan 23, 2002

Flyboy you took the words out of my mouth!
I too learned to never ever mention the price I spent to bring her here ever again! ( I thought it was all over after that mistake ) I also learned that the dollar general store sells mayonaise for a dollar less then the regular grocery store, I suspect after she realized this Dollar general stock has went up. I also made the mistake of letting her try Ranch dressing and now every avalable cabnet space is full of Ranch dressing ( you never know when they may stop making it ) I don't even want to discuss the cloths line, and I suspect you too must deal with your wife boiling her panties on the stove??

Oh the life of an AM/RW marriage is very interesting to say the least!

P.S. Does your wife call you a roach if you walk outside in your bare feet ?
Mike

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

My wife didn't like Ranch dressing, until we came to California.  In the grociery store here there is a homemade Ranch dressing in the produce refrigerated section that Marina has become addicted to.  While she snubs standard Ranch dressing, we always have a jar of the homemade stuff in the fridge.

I wonder if there is some sort of genetic disposition towards Ranch dressing among Russian women?  :-)

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

Hey Mike.

Yep, forgot to mention the ranch dressing.  We are well stocked.  She doesn't do the boiling panties thing, but does wash them by hand and not in the machine.

Nope, she doesn't call me roach, but gets angry when I don't wear my slippers.

Flyboy

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

Mike,
Lena adapted to a washer and dryer her first days here and never was "into" Mayo the way many describe.  However her Ranch dressing addiction was pretty severe for the first couple of years.  As Lena was a drug councilor in Russia, she was able to kick the Ranch dressing habit after that.  LOL
KenC

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

Yeah, I made that same mistake. I hope that they have it in one gallon jars at Costco. I could save my membership fee in just a trip or two right there.

V had never heard of the boiling panties trick. Sounds mighty tasty to me :)

... in response to Re: Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

Boiled panties!!! What gets boiled next?

... in response to Oh no!, posted by BubbaGump on Jan 24, 2002

If it's not nailed to the floor everything gets boiled in our house! ( meat,under cloaths,vegitables )On special occasions we sometimes bake something,but "thanks god" the laundry hasn't found its way there YET!
Mike

... in response to Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Flyboy on Jan 23, 2002


I missed it.

I would love to read more about your serendipituous meeting!

... in response to Nice post! -- say, when did you file you..., posted by MarkInTx on Jan 23, 2002

Mark,

I filed my story when I joined about a year ago.  I got scrutinized for falling in love and proposing marriage in only a week.  Most said I was in lust and it wouldn't work.

I have this little sign in my bathroom next to the mirror.  It's been there for years.  It reads, "If your ship has not come in, swim out to it."

Serendipity... I saw the movie with my wife.  We enjoyed and laughed as it reminded us of how two souls can meet and know instantly they belong together.

Flyboy

... in response to Touch & Go - Kinda long, posted by Flyboy on Jan 23, 2002

Your profile has you married Nov 2000.
A misnomer?
Can be fixed as needed.
Came back up for air to the board?
This is great.
Stay in touch.
Your post is very informative to me at this time.
Read again, stalwart searchers....I will
Karl
tfcrew@gte.net
PS how is the weather in St Paul?

... in response to Flyguy ...... general comment, posted by tfcrew on Jan 23, 2002

Crewboy,

The profile question is actually three questions (which could not realistically be the same date) and only allows one answer.   I answered the first question of curiosity.  You must read my comments to get a better grip on my timeline.

Come up for air?  Heck, I felt drowned in information from this board.  Lot of good stuff here, but needs to be sifted out.  It was a nice break.  I will linger here for a while to share any info.  

I actually developed an e-mail relation with a guy from here before i left for Lostcow.  He selected not to be with his fiancee during the interview.  I offered to hook up with her in case she needed any help in Lostcow.  he said she should be fine.  Well, my fiancee (at the time) and i went to AMC to get her results.  I waited outside to have a chew.  Next thing you know, she comes walking out with another girl and says, "Hey!  It's Lana(name changed) the fiancee of your friend!  We all sat together on the plane to NY.  Actually, her and Lana sat together and talked and giggled like two high school girls for 10 hours.  I drank my smuggled Russian beer and chatted with two guys that met some girls in Ukraine and another guy that worked for a company that was selling bowling alleys all over Russia.  I helped Lana get through customs as to her English was almost zilch.  Then, she had 20 minutes to connect flight.  She didn't have her TWA ticket because it was like a "will call" deal to get it.  She stepped in this mile long line at the TWA counter.  I said nyet and grabbed her by the hand and took her to the front of the line and said a lot of excuse me's.  Got her her ticket and a gate agent brought her to the gate because I told them she didn't speak English.  She ended up having a 2 hour delay.  Oh well.

Lostcow was a lot of fun and some interesting experience with the embassy made the trip even more memorable.  I recommend going there if you can for the interview.  The history alone is worth the trip.  I met one guy from Chi town having a great difficulty with her police report from Moscow.  He was basically screwed until she got it.

What is "stalwart searchers"???

Flyboy

PS. Partly cloudy, partly sunny, partly accurate in SP.  Or maybe clear blue and 32??