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I recentally took note of discussions about why an AM would travel around the world to meet a RW and decide to marry (or at least start the finacee paperwork) after only a short time together.  I fall into that category and would like to offer my humble take:

1)  Avaliability.  I waited until I was 36 and the number of women without a ready made family that hasn't been through at least one divorce is quite small.  Factor into that the need for a little personality and some beauty (inside and out) and it begins to look like a ghost town. I participated in an american dating service for about 2 years and most of the women I dated were overwhelmed with the number of men the dating service was trying to match them with. One "externally beautiful AW" told me she was averaging about 3 dates per week.  By the way, I'm not a overweight, unemployed slob.  I have never been married, have worked as an engineer for an energy company for 15 years, financially stable, no drug problem, have above average looks, into fitness bigtime and I am very active.

2)  Openness.  AW prefer to build a case against you, keeping notes of every thing they don't like about you.  My RW and I are vey open with each other and discuss problems as they occur.  I can't correct things I don't know about and I can't be perfect all the time.  

3)  Dependablity.  I can't count the number of times an AM would meet me for dinner 30 minutes late (fashionably late I suppose) or decline on a lake trip hours before a trip I had planned for several days.  It is also interesting to look at the divorce rate.  I think most AW will divorce an AM once they find a better deal.  Who is at fault...probably the parents for building excessive expectations into their children.  Sure, my RW could divorce me tomorrow but we have had numerous open discussions about it and I am willing to bet she will be there with me through the good times and the bad.  I would almost prefer the odds in Vegas as opposed to the odds I would face with a marriage to an AW.  No matter who you are...there is always a better deal in some way.

4)  Expectations.  My RW and I cook dinner together and enjoy it tremedously.  She cooks...I clean, which is great considering my cooking skills (expect on the grill).  After dating for 15 years in America I had one AW cook me ONE meal.  The rest of the time, even after dating for months, the expectation was to eat at the best restaurants in town or "if they were in a really good mood" I could cook dinner.

5)  Lazyness.  I didn't expect any AW to hit the gym with me or even act like she enjoys fitness.  But it would be nice if they would at least get out of bed before 10 am and be willing to go do something.  My RW can't wait for spring and has actually wanted to take a trip out to the lake just to see my boat.  WOW...some actual interest.  She even said she would like to go to the lake before spring.  Quite a difference from the AW of my past who wanted to decline on a trip to the lake on a perfect summer day to sleep till noon and then later watch some beefed up soap opera on tv. My RW also committed on just how many Americans are overweight.  

I wanted to keep this brief (no such luck). I could come up with my top 20 reasons why I would roll the dice with a brief meeting with a RW vs. consideration for an AW, but these are a few.  I must admit that I questioned myself numerous times about why I would travel so far and risk so much.  After 15 YEARS of trying here in the states I decided to quit beating my head against the same wall and try something different.  If you find the right one, the reward is overwhelming.  I couldn't be happier right now, but I think there was some luck involved too.  Kudos to those who are bold enough to realize something isn't working and try a different approach....Rick

... in response to Reasons for RW, posted by Rickster on Dec 14, 2001

rick,
 
 i read about your happiness and was wondering how you did things. i have asked this of you before when you posted but never get a reply.

 can i ask how many different russian women did you meet? how many different russian women did you write? how long did you know your fiancee before you proposed to her? when did you make your first trip and when did you find your fiancee?

... in response to Reasons for RW, posted by Rickster on Dec 14, 2001

nt

... in response to Reasons for RW, posted by Rickster on Dec 14, 2001

Russian men are idiots. They wouldnt know a good thing if it walked up and slapped them, unless of course it had alcohol in it. Here in the USA an average guy like me couldnt even date a doctor much less marry one. These idiots have so many to choose from that want to settle down its pathtic. These ladies would marry a russian man if the right one came around, but I guess stupidity is bliss. I counted at least 20 and still counting, doctors in the anastasian and euro ladies web site still looking for husbands. I plan on writing everyone of them. I should get a few replies from a few. If ya'll want to know their catalogue no.'s, you'll have to do your own research because I dont want her dumping me for a better looking competition. Alright, 22v285, I think thats the one in anastasia. This is the one I'll definetly send an invitation to come to the anastasia socials rven if she doesnt respond unless she says other wise. You aint getting any more numbers. eat your hearts out if I get her before you do. Everyone should marry a doctor if they want. look at the benefits. I'm 6 years from retirement any way. Let the fun begin.

... in response to Re: Reasons for RW, posted by phillipb. on Dec 14, 2001

.....idiots around here are the guys who wasted their effort replying to you.

So the big pull is that she's a doctor? You must think medicine women are heap special if an "average" guy like you with a big bank account and your "connections" couldn't go out with one. Well golly Gomer, I got me one of them doctors too but her job isn't what made me want her. And ya know, I still ain't sure she'd be right for me.

No wonder your six out and all alone. Keerist, how'd you this far? What's next Hombre, layin out on the porch and shootin at passin cars?

Yeah, R/M are all idiots. Hey, maybe it's OK to think all Texans are ignorant, beer swillin, shti kickin, rednecked morons. Hmmm...let's see now, that would make *three* things that only come outta Texas.

You betcha, I'll be eatin my heart out while ya'll are spending that bank account picking the best of the litter. Geez, the guy was right, you outta just jump right now.

... in response to Me thinks the only....., posted by LP on Dec 14, 2001

What does LP stand for, "loser Punk?" your attack on Texas was uncalled for. You only wish you could live here. If you have the connections, your lady can get certified here. As far as my bank account is concerned, I've been scammed by alot of companies like everyone one else but , if you plan on finding this type of lady, there are companies that do nothing all day but  still your money. 1-888-4451 is the biggest scam of all. Go ahead make their day, but give them your credit card no. first or they'll hang up on you. They put a new number in the USA TODAY paper every few months. This one just hasnt been caught in a scam yet. I'd been married to a russian woman for 2o years if they'd had a service back then, or when the gymnist or ballet came through town would have took my advice and defected. I have a dream like everyone else, some want to marry engineers, architects, etc.. I know i'm not the only one who seeks a doctor. Get your self an EC or anastasisian catalogue or if if you have back issues, check the doctors no. on her picture. I know for certain if you didnt get her address then shes not available anymore.

... in response to Re: Me thinks the only....., posted by phillip b. on Dec 15, 2001

Your story gets harder to believe as you go along and there was already a lot of nonsense there.  We shouldn't even justify you with a response.  Quit while you're behind already.  Lots of Texans on the board so he just singled you out from the herd for branding.

... in response to Luckily the circus didn't roll through t..., posted by BubbaGump on Dec 15, 2001

...."Singled out from the herd".

Well put and quite accurate.

... in response to Re: Reasons for RW, posted by phillipb. on Dec 14, 2001

I think you've been reading a bit too much agency sales hype.  "The women outnumber the men X-to-1.  They want only to be loving eternally devoted wives and mothers.  The men of their own country are no good wife-beaters and drunks.  Age does not matter."  I could go on, but I'm sure everybody's read it all before.

While there may be some truth to some of these statements, I would reserve judgement of a culture and it's people until you've been there and experienced it (extensively).

... in response to Re: Reasons for RW, posted by phillipb. on Dec 14, 2001

fff

... in response to What are the benefits?...She'll never pr..., posted by Stevo on Dec 14, 2001

On her, and her husband's support.  We have a lady friend from Venezuela who married through my service and her husband has supported her efforts to take and pass the board exams.  It took her two years of full-time study to prepare, but she passed.  She's now serving her first year of residency in Texas and her husband will be moving with her as she moves from one area to the next.  They started out in San Diego, and will probably be moving to Boston next year.

It certianly isn't easy though.  If someone wants to marry a doctor and support their efforts to practise medicine here, they better be prepared to make sacrifices.

... in response to What are the benefits?...She'll never pr..., posted by Stevo on Dec 14, 2001

instead of one. The guy accross the street from me is from Novosibirsk. He is a physician. He graduated from Medical school in Russia. He had to take an English test, then work as a resident for three years instead of one for US and Canadian med school grads.

Kevin

... in response to That is a myth. They just have to be res..., posted by Reagan on Dec 14, 2001

Don't assume it's an easy thing to do to continue a professional career after moving here from a foreign country, no matter what the career is.

... in response to They have to pass exams also, posted by Patrick on Dec 14, 2001

They need to pass the exams to be board certified but I think they can still practice medicine.  They can practice at a Doc in the Box kind of place but they are better off passing the tests from a malpractice standpoint.

... in response to Re: Reasons for RW, posted by phillipb. on Dec 14, 2001

RM aren't idiots. It's human nature to push the limits of what we can get away with. RM know what they can and can't do. And they get away with things that most of us wouldn't even think are possible. Honestly if you want to know how to romance a woman there are worse teachers than Russian guys. If you want to learn about fidelity and life long trust they might not be able to help.

... in response to I disagree!, posted by Zink on Dec 14, 2001

Zink,

I place this under your post as it got me to think about something. So, the Russian guys are the bad boys so to speak. Thus, this is what they are used to right?

Here in the USA there are women who are attracted to the "bad boy" if you know what I mean. I have not seen this with my limited experience with  RW - they just want a strong male that seems to be all.

So, what is everyone else's experience. Some time ago, one guy said that if his RW got out of line - trying to be too pushy that she only respected him if he had some form of force in getting her to know that he was the boss and such behavior just would not fly.

Now the word force does not mean that it had to be hitting but it would be something inbetween this extreme and the opposite of "Oh honey please don't do that" - said in a none assertive tone.

... in response to Re: Reasons for RW, posted by phillipb. on Dec 14, 2001

Russian men are gods!

They live in a land where sobriety is a sin and vodka flows free from the taps.

They are free to indulge in all the sex they want from willing lucious lovely Russkaya babes without having to marry any of them.  A new flavor every week!  And if they do decide to marry, there is no societal pressure to stop them from gettin' a little on the side.  If the woman complains, you can kick her out and not worry about alimony.  If any of your sweeties on the side get knocked up, no problem.  The courts won't bother to enforce any paternal responsibilities.  It's like Vegas, Baby!!!  All the fun and no responsibility.  And if some Yank or Brit comes along and tries to woo any of your harem, you can charge him up the whahzoo to sign away your paternity rights so they can take her kids out of the country.  Then go find another one!

But to have the right to enjoy this paradise, Russian men must first endure the Draft into the Russian Army, where hazing, unsanitary living conditions, near starvation, and unsafe working conditions that would give an OSHA rep a heart attack likely mean you won't make it to age 21.

... in response to Re: Reasons for RW, posted by phillipb. on Dec 14, 2001

and u say RM are idiots? LOL and re-LOL

... in response to Re: Re: Reasons for RW, posted by pat on Dec 14, 2001

Hey Pat, who you choose to write to is your business. I know alot of people would give their right arm to marry a doctor. Have you ever seen Shania Twain? Her russian look a-like is on the web and shes a doctor too. You'll have to search hard if you want to find her because I'll never tell. If I want the best in life I deserve it and more. Dont worry, I'm not just marrying her because of what she would make as a doctor. Maybe I should keep my bank account to myself until I'm certain shes here to stay. I'm truly a rags to riches story. Too bad the ladies around here still play hard to get. Some people are having trouble getting their wives certified as practicing doctors here. If you have the right connections, anythings possible. Good luck to everyone on their searches.

... in response to Reasons for RW, posted by Rickster on Dec 14, 2001

1

... in response to BarryM where are you;  Here is another T..., posted by juio99 on Dec 14, 2001

nt

... in response to BarryM where are you;  Here is another T..., posted by juio99 on Dec 14, 2001

Not sure what a Troll is, but how about constructive criticism instead of name calling.  I thought this forum was all about helping each other.  Thanks for all your help!

... in response to Reasons for RW, posted by Rickster on Dec 14, 2001

congrats and good luck!
But you do know the down side, HUH? These Russian women expect you to be a GOOD man. It is funny hearing these girls talk. I am amazed on how some fo these chicks rise to the occassion. I am doing more than any man we know around us-including and of her friends and her response is-I do not care about other people-just us. Thus she expects much out of me-----------------and she does her part too.
One thing I have seen in 4 or 5 RW AM relationships is that these girls haev lit a fire of inspiration under there man's butt.God forbid that you wife inspire you!
anyway-it aint't always easy but my life is more organized and focused that it ever has been. It helps to have a partner and not a liability.
Joe

... in response to Rick, have you been copying my post?, posted by yoe on Dec 14, 2001

For me, you hit the nail on the head when you

said having a partner versus a liability

or more catagories such as  not so bad being dead weight and less terrible being a lesser partner. So many AW are not team players.

Yet, there are many
AW who say the same about AM and I have seen many cases where the wife is doing far more than her share. So there are all kinds. Balance can be hard to find.

... in response to Re: Rick, have you been copying my post?, posted by thesearch on Dec 14, 2001

Maybe we should not be so hard on AW and just say many AP(American People). I know that the AM can be a bunch of freaks in themselves.
Joe
but great perspective-