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He was upset becuase he thinks his lady in russia is playing him.  This guy is quite experienced with FSU and travels there so much that he has an apartment rented in St. Petes all year round becuase he is there so much. What really surprises me is that he did not expect that from her but you know that if you keep playing with matches sooner or later you are going to get burned and why he expects not to get taken for a ride every once in a while is a little beyond me.

So he really likes to attend those socials and write to girls from the tour company magazines and so on.  He was asking my perspective on his situation and I told him that I thought he should try a different approach but quite honestly I think he will have a difficult time to find a wife period because his expectations are way too high.  He meets a lot of girls he likes a lot but he feels that he wants to wait for someone that is just a little more perfect for him.  What I would not have given to have only a fraction of the opportunity he has.

I don't really know about him but I found a great girl and I am taking a go at having a good future with her.  I know that she is not perfect and neither am I but we really genuinely care and love each other a lot and that is good enough in my book.  I am not saying that you should not be in love or attracted to your mate but quit trying to look for someone who turns you on so much that you can't see straight.  You can look over there and find ladies from here to eternity and each one just as beautiful as the last but in the long run I think a man would be better off finding just one decent lady who he is attracted to and can love and quit looking for miss perfect.  

No, I am not speaking from experience but I am only giving you my perspective from a man that has seen a lot of stupidity and non-sense in life. " Decide to be happy " and if you don't think you can resist the temptation to keep looking around the corner for something just a little bit better then maybe you are not quite ready for marriage.

It took me a long time to sort this out for myself too but I came to realize that if I wanted to marry that I would have to select only one and in the long run a lot of that physical beauty falls away and you are left with who she really is.  Look for who you want but be sure to base your decisions with the proper head.

Thanks for letting me vent just a little,  Jim

... in response to A friend of mine called last night....., posted by Oatmeal on Oct 11, 2001

Oatmeal:

Thanks for your honest email. I can understand your friend's mentality.  Maybe he feels that if he has to give up his bachelorhood/freedom, it has to be someone who is really worth it, right?  Being picky is not a bad thing.  Oatmeal, everybody is different.  Well, he will get over it eventually.

... in response to A friend of mine called last night....., posted by Oatmeal on Oct 11, 2001

Although I agree with your post about not waiting until you're dead to find Miss Perfect but instead try to find someone that has good inner qualities that you are attracted to, at the same time, I think you are being a little too hard on your friend.  Maybe he is young and has been playing the field a little with enviable opportunities but you did refer to HIS LADY in Russia.  If she is his lady then that narrows the field quite a bit.  And no one likes to be played.  I think his point is even more valid than yours because how she feels about him and how she treats him should carry a lot of weight, or maybe it is the same point because you say find a decent lady that loves you, well, maybe he thought she did or at least had that potential.  Personally I feel sorry for the guy if he is just now finding out that his lady is playing him.

... in response to A friend of mine called last night....., posted by Oatmeal on Oct 11, 2001

Good post, Jim.