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Well I got a letter from Okie; I’m going to respond to it here for the benefit of others as well. I used to post quite a bit more on this board than I do now. I used to think that a board like this could actually help someone be successful and find a Latin wife. But I have to tell you that I’m not all that sure that any board can. This board at times just seems to be place to vent one’s frustrations in failed relationships. Guys that are successful with latin women do not post here except to ask where the good hotels are, where the agencies are located and how’s the weather.

If you are on this or any other board asking questions about how to act around women and attract them then you are in deep trouble, IMHO.  I can’t help you and neither can anyone else on this board because we don’t personally know you. We don’t know what you look like, how you dress or the impression that you give off when you meet a woman for the first time. We have no idea if you are a complete idiot or relatively good-looking guy that just shoots for the stars and bites off more than he can chew.

The fact of the matter is that you (yourself) should have good idea of what your strengths and weaknesses are when dealing with women from your past experiences with them. Nobody could possibly give you better advice on this matter than you.

If you can openly admit that you are completely clueless when it comes to Latin women, I’m offering a new service. For one thousand dollars, I will personally escort you to all the marriage agencies in Cali and teach you how not to get ripped off by agency owners that are all pushing 50 and don’t even own a gun. I will give you a personal assessment of your appearance (hair, dress, teeth) and tell you what you need to change before you even get on the plane. I will select the women you will meet (taking into consideration what you find attractive) and then which ones you will go out with based on her reaction to you, I will select your female interpreter if needed, where you will take the woman out and what clothes you will wear. Depending on the woman and whether or not I feel it will be too much of distraction I will go out with the two of you on the first date and tell you when you should put your hand on her knee or thigh and when you should kiss her. You will have to do what I say when I say it. Including but not limited to what agencies to join and what clothes to buy and how you should cut your hair.

I will spend 4 days with you. I will take pictures of you with all your dates and grade you on your performance. After the four days is over I will give you an overall grade and tell you in all honesty what your strong points and weaknesses are and whether or not you should ever go back to Cali or head off to the Philippines.

Pre-screening for this pilot program will begin now for the nominal charge of $50 dollars which will be deducted for the $1000 if you are deemed suitable otherwise the $50 dollars will be forfeited. I’m sure that many of you will be upset if you find out that you are not eligible for the program but just be thankful that I’m not selling you a pipe dream and taking another $950 from you not to mention the expense of foreign travel. It’s a bargain and my time is worth something.

To get started just send me along with $50 ten good current pictures of yourself front and back, close up facial and full length. Give me your height, weight and any handicaps. Then include links of up to 25 women from the most popular Latin agency websites that you are attracted to and feel that the women would be interested in you.

Now I’m going to answer some direct question that Okie posed to me in his letter.

(Do you basically take photos of girls you date, or are you specifically going after the latina "models" ? )

Up until now all of the photos that I posted were girls that I had dated and they were not paid. In the last batch of photos all the girls were paid including the one that I was dating. So to recap on the girls in the photos, One is mine. One gave me her number so we could go out and two of them showed no interest in dating me or dating gringos in general that I could tell from talking with them.

(I am mainly trying to figure out how you would recommend to me to "approach" these girls? )

I’m going to assume that you are talking about latinas in general and not the girls in the photos. But the answer is the same for both situations. I have know idea how to recommend that you approach women. I don’t know anything about you really. I might suggest that you give them a wink and a smile and then introduce yourself if they keep eye contact or I might suggest that you just skip the woman and move on to something else.

(In your opinion, on a scale of 1 -10, how would you rate the girls' interest in meeting gringos?)

I would say that I have met women in Cali that have zero interest in gringos all the way to a 10 depending on the particular woman.  For very attractive women that are not in agencies I would give them an average score of a 3. There will be a few 10’s but they will be offset by a lot of zeros. This is a pretty subject score because in a large part in will be based on how interested the women were in me. Your results could be quite different like maybe even a zero.

(I would bet that the young hotties that you go out with aren't very interested in a serious relationship anyhow.  But, still I am just trying to better understand your approach and how you would gauge their interest and response?)

Again we are all over the road on this one. Some are very interested in marriage which surprises even me considering how young they are while others never bring up the subject and seem to be more interested in just enjoying the moment.

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

Actually, if he would just be himself and look for ladies interested in him, he might not have so many problems.  It seems the longer I live, the more convinced I am that there is a "Jane" for every "John".  If he will be square up, forthright, and decide where he is going, I think someone will be willing to follow him.

Remember, it takes all types...

I may be off-kilter a bit in this one because I haven't really kept up with what is going on with Okie in the last few months due to time limitations.  

One doesn't have to be perfect in order to find a wife.  After all, I am not a movie star in appearances or the most suave guy in town.  Yet, I managed to find someone that wanted me, and still wants to stay with me nine years later.

As for the lessons in how to maintain and conduct oneself--there is wisdom in getting wise counsel on such things...

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

The thing that made me laugh out loud was the part where you would determine whether he should go back to Cali or head to the Phillipines. You sounded like a big-league scout telling a ball player if he had the stuff to go to the bigs or was destined for minor league ball in Modesto.

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

Reminds me of the movie "HITCH", very funny but true for some. Good Post!

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

CP,
You are a "natural" a guy for whom it comes easy.Naturals are not the best coaches,they do not understand the how something so easy for them can be so difficult for someone else.You would probably say here's your money back after his first stupid blunder and walk off shaking you head.
So for him I would suggest Tio,who probably woud be more patient.
Okie man LOOKS OK,the problem starts when he opens ,and never closes his mouth.You would probably say hopeless case and walk.

Pete

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

i enjoyed the post

beattledog

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

Very true/informative post by CP.  ESPECIALLY regarding agengy and non-agency girls.  non-agency girls are NOT looking for gringos, so they haven't picked up bad habits(ie, asking for money) their experience is with regular COL guys.  Because COL guys ONLY will give money to girls they're sleeping with.  Also, since they're exp is with COL guys, gringos that are nice/charming/well manner go ALOT longer way with them.

Gringo guys need to first know what type of guy they are(cool, hip, dork, nice guy, average guy, etc.,) then they should go for gals that are within their range.  Sometimes you can go outside your range IF you're willing to put the EXTRA work in.  If you want to date a model chic then you better be preprare to work it.  go to the cool/trendy places, look cool/hip and confident(very important).  One thing about colombia is that you DONT have to find a model, because there are LOTS of HOT chics that dont think they're hot as models.  

Local COL guys(with lot less money) are going out with these regular HOT chics, so there's NO reason why a foreinger cant too.  BUT i notice i requires couple things mention above.  One thing i think is very important with ANY gal is confidences(but not cockiness, at least in front of your date).  You have to exude that sense that you sure of yourself and can handle yourself.  THrow in a sense of humor/wit to disarm them, with some decent cloths, charm and manners and you're in.  Even with limit spanish, if you have those qualities they will shine thru.  There's gringos i've seen that are NOT the best looking BUT they consistantly can charm/bed the hot gals, because they have those qualities.  While there's gringos i've seen that have money, decent looking and dress, but come off as timid, shy, unconfident.  Those guys get the wrong type of girls.

Most guys that are serious about relationship, have a nice personality, caring, etc., will find it VERY easy to meet a nice, intelligent, attractive girls.  I used agency only once(last june for 4 days) and have not used them since.  I have NO Problem meeting attractive, nice girls thru various sources(on the street, bar, internet dating sites, etc.,)  The irony is that i meet lots of nice, attractive girls, that would make great GF/wife and really looking for nice guys who are serious about relationships.  While i am NOT looking for serious relationship, just lots of amigas, so i end up introducing gringo friends to my amigas.  

I about to introduce a girl fr Medellin to my gringo friend i met this week.  my amiga is  22 yr old, tall, attractive(used to do some modelling when she was 15yr old, w/ 1 really adorable 3yr daughter, humble(but confident)really sweet(when i complain that my hotel miss my last wake up call and i was afraid that they would blow it the morning of my flight, she called the hotel at 5AM to make sure they woke me up).  I met my amiga my last trip to COL in august(via match) and kept the things as friendship ONLY, she knew i had other "amigas".

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by caslug on Oct 15, 2005

(NON-agency girls are NOT looking for gringos, so they haven't picked up bad habits(ie, asking for money) their experience is with regular COL guys. Because COL guys ONLY will give money to girls they're sleeping with.)

I bet I have gone out with 50 or more agency girls over the last ten years and I have never had one ask me for money. I don't know if agency women are sincerely more interested in me than the average guy that uses the agencies so they don't want to ruin their chances by asking for money or if I'm just real good at not asking women out that really don't like me. Personally I think it is more tha later because any women that asks you for money after you just met her has no real interest in you what so ever and doesn't even have an once of respect for you. I have to sense that a woman likes me before I ask one out.

If I was a millionare with unlimited funds and time to spend in Cali I might just ask out every single woman that appealed to me- just to catch the ones that I might have misread.

This trip before last I did have a non-agency chick that I had slept with a couple of times ask me for money. She was so adamant about me giving her money that she really freaked me out and I had to throw her out of my apartment. It was the first and hopely the last time it will ever happen.

... in response to Re: Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

CP, come'on CP you KNOW you're a sharp guy, so you probably have a sixth sense of which gal(agency or non-agency) are trouble and you dont ask those type.  You tend to date hot model type, which works for you, but most guys are not going to be able to pull it off.  For every one guy that date a model they're 3 other that is not and is just wacking off from across the bar.

I rarely have a girl ask me for money AND never had one ask me for anything beyond 10k peso.  I tend to cut them off before they ask the for the rent check.  I went out with a cutie last night, a week ago, she told me she was unemployed and was having problem finding work.  I was talking about staying at an apartment with kitchen(pete's place) and was telling her i'll invite her over one of these days when i cook.  She loved it.  I told her i'm cooking during my stay because it's healthier and that i need to budget my money for 7 weeks.(hint to her so she doesn't bother to ask for money)

But some guys are too nice, and try to hard to impress.  But all guys go thru a learning curve when we're in a foreign land.  My first trip to COL, i got taken for a ride couple of times(agency girls would pick the MOST EXP restaruant in town for our first-and last date).  BUT any guy that give money before having sex is asking to get taken advantage of.  COL guys don't do it, why should gringos?

... in response to Re: Re: Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by caslug on Oct 15, 2005

Sometimes I voluntarily take women to the most expensive resturant in town. I won't begrudge a beautiful woman a decent meal if she is looking me in the eye when she eats it. hehehe!!!

But you are right. Never give a girl cash until she is sleeping with you.

Unless of course she is a virgin. I think Papi said he met one on the coast but there was some doubt about her being 18 at the time so I don't really think she counts. hehehe!!

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: To Okie and others. (lon..., posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

what an a-hole!

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: To Okie and others. (lon..., posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

There's enough good looking, nice non-users girls out there that why put with the user ones.  it's SOOO EASY meeting chicas here..  

It's saturday night i didn't have a confirm date earlier today.  so i got on cypercupido and shot out 15-20 email to chicas(i wrote that i am cali now for work and school and was asking what places to go(hint to the girls)), within 30 mins i got 2 replied from some cuties and email their phone number and wanted me to call.

I called both, and now meeting one with her friend(for my buddy) and the other girl wanted to go out too with her girlfriend.  ja, ja.. to easy!

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: To Okie and others. ..., posted by caslug on Oct 15, 2005

[This message has been edited by Spanky]

The word is "too" foo'. Of course, these bright boys ignore the fact that they could be boring and dull as dirt, and still appear interesting to these women, who of course, can't understand a word they say.  We are from the land of plenty, and this alone will intrigue them. Take it all back to the States Slim, where spiffy clothes and groovy haircuts get you nada.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: To Okie and others. (lon..., posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

actually she was in her early 20's but nobody believes there are virgins left in colombia - somehow, i have been lucky (or unlucky) enough to meet a few. when do yu return to the US?

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

...is nobody answered his last question regarding Body Hair...  

What I want to know is if Calipro will include the answer to the body hair question for the $1000 or will that cost extra?

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

... in response to The real reason Oakie left Planet-Love....., posted by teoblas on Oct 15, 2005

I'll include the answer to the body hair question for the $1000.

And I'll tell you how to get the answer for free.

Just ask a couple of caleñas what they prefer.

... in response to The real reason Oakie left Planet-Love....., posted by teoblas on Oct 15, 2005


My question then becomes: What is the limit amount of hair(s)*** a gringo may have before the  Latina Hair Police issues the gringo a hairy citation???

*** BTW, I have 3,719,012 body hairs. Should I start looking for a bald lawyer???

:P

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

All I can say is wow... Do you think your ego and self-worth could be a little grandiose??..jajajaja

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by sacajundude on Oct 15, 2005

I can't be the only experianced traveler to cali that reads these sad stories about how all the women in Cali are scammers and the agency owners are cooks and wonder just what the in the hell these guys are doing wrong.

... in response to What?, posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

Nope, you're not alone. -TNC

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by sacajundude on Oct 15, 2005

Listen to the guy. He is doing it. When you are telling it from what you have experienced, then the ego is experience and not lip flapping. That's what I meant about guys parking their own egos.

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

All I can say is wos... Do you think your ego and self-worth could be a little grandiose??..jajajaja

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

Sounded a little ridiculous when I read it, but after remembering some of the guys I have seen go to agencies, with no clue as how to act, dress or even the basics of manners, you just might be on to something here. I think it would be money well spent, as long as they were meeting the right girls and not the party girls and meeting girls within their league. Homer from Missouri chasing Sofia Vergera isnt going to work.

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by mudd on Oct 15, 2005

I agree that he is on to something. I have seen quite a few men at the agencies that would have been far better off using some other knowledgeable guy like CP for assistance. In the end they would save a lot of money and get better results. It seems many can't focus on what is within their own league and realm of possibility for success.

Some of the other responses refer to "check your ego at the door" and could not be more accurate. However, most can't even acknowledge they have the ego problem to begin with. Not everyone is like this obviously, but you never have to go far to find one.

Sometimes change is good. First recognize there is a need for change. Second, put it into play. Then go back and try again.

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

I used to give Okie the benefit of the doubt for a long time, until recently. Most of his questions are indeed to be answered within himself. On one hand, I think more trips south might help him. OTOH, more trips might further confuse him if he is always going to depend on someone else to help him decide how to proceed. I can picture him being taken by the wrong agency owner(s) who "saw him coming". Actually I believe that you and he represent two different motives for meeting/dating Latinas, and I chuckled a little when you said that he wrote to you for advice, but I agree that maybe extreme sarcasm is needed to make your point. Or maybe he is changing the way he thinks, more like you do. :)

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by Red Clay on Oct 15, 2005

One thing guys don’t seem to talk about much here if at all is the post trip.  Okie came home thinking he had a relationship (afterall, she did sleep with him the last night), yet it fizzled out when he got home.  It can happen when we get back and in worse cases sometimes when they arrive here (honey, I am going to the store – in other words, adios gringo).  Hot citas are fine and dandy but returning from the trip and keeping it going is where the rubber hits the pavement. Ending up home empty handed is no fun but I hope he tries again

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

[This message has been edited by soltero]

Calipro, I would like to be the first to congratulate you on this excellent post. This one should be printed out by every guy that is under the misconception that talking about it will lead to success in doing it. I don't know whether you are serious or not about you new business idea, but there are actually guys that may be in need of your services. If they check their misguided egos, you might be able to help them. Personally, I wouldn't want you anywhere around my girl(smile)! Just kidding...

For all you guys sitting at home asking other guys how you should be around women, don't get offended, but stay at home! If you haven't found that out before you got out of high school, you are in over your head. Be yourself and find who and what works for you. If nothing is working, find out why and change if you want to, don't if you don't. No other guy is going to be able to place a magic pill in your hand for you to swallow. Calipro's idea might work for the hopelessly inept, but just like AA, admit that you are and give in to "Dating Counseling".

This stuff is too good to be true! You just can't make this up...JAJAJA

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by soltero on Oct 15, 2005

No in all seriousness if a guy was sincere, I would help him out for grand and I would be doing him a favor.

Four days in Cali is worth much more to me than a grand. It actually costs me a little over $800 just to get there.

... in response to Just call me Hitch. , posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

I think it's a great idea. You might actually be able to save a lot of newbies some grief, heartache and cash, and I truly believe it could work if the guys would park their egos and listen to you. If anybody can help somebody navigate this process without getting taken, it's you. You have more experience with this than all but a few, and I would say that their experience is probably equal to yours or only slightly more.

... in response to Re: Just call me Hitch. , posted by soltero on Oct 15, 2005

Soltero, sometimes I wonder how many "newbies" really read these forums.  I wish I did 5 years ago.  But if I had I might never have gotten on the plane..hehe

... in response to To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

CP, I think you are one of the sharpest guys on the forum and respect your advice and love your enthusiasm for hot calenas.  You know your way around the agency scene, Cali and maybe other areas, I assume speak good Spanish, and from the pics I have seen you are not a bad looking guy and certainly date hot women.  But I am puzzled at one thing and that is why you have not hooked up with all your travel and experience.  Now if you are a stud like Pimpdaddy, maybe you get plenty of action in the US, but I cant believe it can be all that satisfying to fly to Cali for a week or two get plenty of hot Latinas and then come home to an empty pad.  There is no long-term satisfaction in that...unless you are taking videos to watch later...hehe.  But seriously, I don’t get it.  In my case, I just assume not marry either – but it is the only way to get one back here long-term.  What gives?

... in response to Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by papi on Oct 15, 2005

Papi

Most know the story already. I was married to a caleña for about 3 and a half years.

I do plan on bringing at least one more to the States but I do plan on retiring in Cali someday.

Who needs a wife in Cali?

... in response to Re: Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

I think your best service will turn out to be the $50 spent for Gringos having no business going to Cali in the first place and you giving them the good news
The guy who passes all your criteria to have a good shot at meeting pretty Calenas, probably doesn't the service to start with.

... in response to Re: Re: To Okie and others. (long), posted by Calipro on Oct 15, 2005

Who needs a wife in Cali? ...good point..hehe. on the 3.5 yrs that explains it...i was wondering what the deal was. i had 2 years with a calena here but she had a visa and we never married. good luck on your next one