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During my fiancee's last night with me, we talked about what we learned about each other.  I had shown her the LWL and PL lists and she occasionally read some of the posts.  During our talk she made a request of me: help her friends find good husbands!  I asked what information, in order of importance, her friends wanted to know about the foreign men who use agencies to find women to marry.  She became very serious and asked if I really wanted to hear the truth, to which I replied of course.  So here it is.

The single most important piece of information a woman wants to know about a man is how much money he makes.  He must make enough money to support a family.

Second most important is how he earns his money.  Most Brazilian women want nothing to do with a foreign man who earns his money in questionable ways.

Third is how controlling a man is with his money, ie. whether or not he shares it unstingily with his wife.

Not fourth but still important is how much a man drinks and whether he uses drugs.  Most Brazilian women want to avoid men who drink heavily.  I hadn't realized this before but there is a completely different attitude towards drugs there compared to here.  In NA and Europe some drugs, like marijuana, are not considered a big deal to use.  Most Brazilian women see smoking marijuana as equivalent to shooting heroin.  Drug use is drug use, period.   Decent women will drop a man in a millisecond if he uses ANY illegal drug.

Also important is sex, specifically, a man's sex drive and sexual desires.  In Brazil, men from NA and Europe have a reputation for liking "kinky" sex or an excessive amount of sex.  My fiancee says that it is not that they are unwilling to accomodate a man, but that they want to know exactly what they are getting into BEFORE they marry or travel to his country.  There is particular fear about being forced into sex slavery, as such cases have been, and still are, widely publicized in Brazil.  

Another important issue is a man's dressing and grooming habits.  NA and European men, the Europeans more so I think, also have a reputation for dressing badly and not bathing frequently enough.  Brazilian womn have a strong preference for well-groomed, nice smelling men.

I then asked my fiancee whether women are willing to trade off one trait for another, such as less nice dressing for more money.  Or will they refuse to marry a man who only showers once a week despite his earning a good salary?

Again she became very serious and asked me if I wanted to hear the truth.  Of course!

A Brazilian woman will ALWAYS marry a foreign man with enough money.

BUT if he is stingy, if he always smells bad, if the sex is bad, etc., she will ALWAYS divorce him AFTER getting her permanent residency!

On the other hand, if he is generous, dresses well, smells good, has a good personality, the sex is good, etc., then she will STAY married to him!

So, whether a Brazilian woman is a Green Card shark or not depends less on her character and more on us and our lifestyle!  If we offer more than just material benefits then we get a permanent wife.  Whereas if we offer ONLY material benefits then we get a shark!

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

One of her friends was the morena playing the German guy, right?
No, thanks.
My brother was dating a Brazilian woman here in the US.
I remember one conversation where she stated, i'm not money oriented, i'd be happy making $200,000 a year.
Needless to say, they are no longer together.

... in response to $$$$$$, posted by Avispa on Aug 23, 2005

YES! That is correct.  Good memory!

In March, when I met him on a double date and got the gossip, I asked my fiancee about when her friend would tell him that she was not interested in him for a romantic relationship.  Her reply was that they were arguing over that very issue.  

My fiancee wanted her friend to tell him right away.  There was NO CHANCE of this thing developing into anything serious. He was too old for her.  He was too out of shape for her.  He didn't like to bathe and perspired heavily, which turned her completely off physically.  Yet she was still accepting trips to places near her city, and accepting dinners and gifts, etc.  My fiancee felt it was immoral for her to lead him on, as well as a waste of her own time.  She was supposed to be looking for a husband and every day spent with man who was not husband material was a day NOT spent with a man who was husband material.  

I updated the news about them in May.  It is in the archives.

... in response to Re: $$$$$$, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 24, 2005

In a case like that the MAN is equally to blame. Why pretend a gorgeous young babe is going to be interested in you? I mean if you have bad hygiene & have money & are old you think she likes you for YOU?! Cmon man!!! Some times you have to get out of denial.
Having said that I'm currently seeing a drop dead gorgeous 24 year old Mexican from the DF. I wondered what she saw in me turns out she likes heavy metal so I guess the long hair & leather did it. I guess I could put her in the groupie category. Not looking to marry her for sure just enjoy the ride.

... in response to $$$$$$, posted by Avispa on Aug 23, 2005

"I remember one conversation where she stated, i'm not money oriented, i'd be happy making $200,000 a year."

If this belief is widely held, it appears the sense of entitlement held by corrupt government officials in Brazil has equally saturated the character of Brazilians in general.

The NY Times had an article yesterday on the booming agricultural trade in Brazil.  For a minute, I thought maybe I'd stumbled upon a comic strip, as every mention of government officials (governors, mayors, etc.) included how many thousands upon thousands of productive acreage they owned.  And, of course, small farmers and the Amazon basin were the least of their concerns.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

e a marijuana é muito potente.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

And here I was thinking that because I was not well endowed, that I would never get a good latin woman. Now I just need rob a bank and not tell the girl how I got all my money. I feel so much better.....Dude I am dating a girl and she doesnt care how well endowed either me or my bank is, she just likes being with me, maybe you should try that sometime....

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

When evaluating the desires of your girlfriend and her friends, it would help to know their socio-economic level.  Are these high school/technical school/university educated women?  Do they have professions and experience in those professions?

No offense intended, but such information may affect their perspectives and would help those of us reading about them.

Hamlet

... in response to Socio-economic level?, posted by Hamlet on Aug 22, 2005

Be very careful of this, a common misnomer in life is to automatically equate ones class and character to ones education level in life.  You want to have a good indication of their class and character, meet their parents and see where they live, and this will tell you more than her PHD diploma well.  One does not marry a piece of paper, well some mistakenly do. Or dress her up in a formal, you with a tux, attend a formal function and see if her words and actions equate to her dress and the occasion.  Of course if you are from south texas take her to a dance hall and if she can two step, (not salsa) then all the rest is not important so marry her.

... in response to Socio-economic level?, posted by Hamlet on Aug 22, 2005

Hamlet,

Your question is reasonable.  It is unfortunate that others are using your question to slander my fiancee as a whore.

My fiancee is a nurse and has worked in a municipal health department for 9 years.  The friends she talks about are principally those she met while in university.  These women are mostly aged from late 20's to late 30's.

... in response to Re: Socio-economic level?, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 23, 2005

Oh, calm down! Nobody called your fiancée a whore.

When he said ‘otherwise they sound shallow and no different from a whore’, I interpreted that to mean without more information on where they are coming from, these women sound like all business from the description in your post. When you reported that their top three priorities were #1. Money, #2. Money, and #3. Money, then I’m sorry but that does sound shallow and exactly like a gold digger or a “working girl” in the sense that “working girls” are primarily interested only in your money. See, I tried not to use the word “whore” :-)

Like others have asked, where does LOVE come into this equation anyway?

Ray

... in response to Socio-economic level?, posted by Hamlet on Aug 22, 2005

& no different from a wh0re.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

This post applies to women of any country, and most women could care less where the money comes from, as long as they do not know who is driving the getaway car.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

No offense but the insight on Brazilian women sounds like many American women. Why travel that far, risk so much, for an attitude you can get just across town?

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Craig on Aug 22, 2005

.

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Craig on Aug 22, 2005

I've wondered why more guys don't go to Brazil and why Colombia is a favored destination. Now I know.

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Craig on Aug 22, 2005

Craig,
Sounds like you get a better body,other than that,same sort of attitudes.I hope our buddy here got a good one,because on general attitude she will split if your fortunes turn down or when she decides half will do and she can work somebody else for more.
Sounds like the latin version of a Russian woman to me.

Pete

... in response to Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Pete E on Aug 22, 2005

but well same thing man. SOrry but I was married to a Uke & what this guy wrote about Brazilians has me thinking they are VERY much the same only with darker skin. Heck I'll stick with the Mexicans & Colombianas man.

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Craig on Aug 22, 2005

Two of my friends married Brazilian women.
When they met, these women were living in the worst ghettos in the world.
Their houses were like caves according to my friends.
Within a year,both women had become Americanized.
Obviously,both marriages ended in divorce.(One of the ladies decided she was bisexual.)
One Braziliana asked for a $1,000 in child support and got it.
The other asked for a million dollar property settlement and got half of what she asked for.

I'll take my chances with a Colombiana.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

"The single most important piece of information a woman wants to know about a man is how much money he makes. He must make enough money to support a family."

"...how he earns his money."

"...how controlling a man is with his money."

"...how much a man drinks and whether he uses drugs."

Seems reasonable enough for a woman to expect.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

A big conclusion from just one Brazilain woman's opinion.

"So, whether a Brazilian woman is a Green Card shark or not depends less on her character and more on us and our lifestyle!  If we offer more than just material benefits then we get a permanent wife.  Whereas if we offer ONLY material benefits then we get a shark!"

Jamie
Engage the Exotic - Latin Women
http://International-Introductions.com

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Jamie on Aug 22, 2005

Yes, it is.  Just one woman from Brazil based on her own experience and that of 15 or so of her friends.  Other women in other countries may have different views.  This post was not meant to be definitive.

You, as an agency owner, have special insight to women looking for foreign husbands.  Do they ask you for specific information about men, such as who is well off and who isn't?  Do they ask which men argue over centavos and which don't?  What do the women in your agency want????

... in response to Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

Brazilophile is enamored with the idea of being in love while an outsider tells him how he will act and how often he get to smell the love tunnel. He is such a perfect model for the role that she also wants to know 'where can we find more like him for her friends.' I too am struck by the lack of intimate talk and simple chatter. Everything seems to be staged while the testerone is quietly held in check. I wish you the best buddy, but as I have said in the past you suffer from a severe case of wimpotence. Cut the Nice act, get your balls back, check your girl back to the pack, cuz of this love thing you have no knack. Sheesh!!!!!

You guys get to suffer with me for a while, had minor surgery recently and damn near checked out of here during the procedure (spent days on a breathing machine in ICU). I will take a few months off and decide what to do when I grow up. ;-) My wife works, attends classes, is pregnant, and is not worried about what I write on this board. She isn't interested in the least. So during my recovery, I will lurk/hang around for a couple of months and do the disappearing act again when normalcy begins to set in.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by JaySlo on Aug 22, 2005

Sounds like you went through hell man.  Good luck.

... in response to Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

"Do they ask you for specific information about men, such as who is well off and who isn't?"

This question has never been asked. Those that seek a wealthy man can directly find out on their own by asking basic questions of what he does, where he lives and what activities he partakes in without asking us.

"Do they ask which men argue over centavos and which don't?"

"Centavos" (cents), any new woman that calls you cheap should be avoided. I have heard of women refer to some men as cheap. And I think, here we have a woman with no job and for the most part has done nothing productive her whole life judging what someone else should be spending on them when they don’t have the capability to do the equivalent for others or themselves. Just recently I had a client give his girl friend $100,000 pesos ($45 dollar) for her daughter’s birthday party. This woman referred to him as being cheap. The way I look at it this $100.000 pesos is $100.000 pesos more then anyone else is giving her. She is ungrateful and shows a lack of character. Such feelings of entitlement are not a positive indicator for the future. Any woman that has such concerns over arguments over centavos does not deserve your time.

"What do the women in your agency want????"

Like all of us happiness. To specifically respond to your post:

"The single most important piece of information a woman wants to know about a man is how much money he makes. He must make enough money to support a family."
 
The vast majority of foreign women have no idea what a particular income reflects from a foreign country or how other indicator come into play. I have never heard of a Colombian woman asking such a question. The amount of money to support a family can be very low almost anyone can support a family if they live within their means. So reason number one does not narrow many men out of the picture; however a woman that has this as her number one thought has set a gauge of what would be considered acceptable support that probably goes beyond standard support otherwise such a concern would not come up. I would advice men to stay away from such a woman.

"Second most important is how he earns his money. Most Brazilian women want nothing to do with a foreign man who earns his money in questionable ways."

I will assume you mean illegally this would apply to very few men and to be of second importance seems strange. I would find it very concerning that no where does your fiancé mention, love, affection, respect, values and hundreds of other more critical aspects of a healthy marriage.

"Third is how controlling a man is with his money, ie. whether or not he shares it unstingily with his wife."

This does not tell us anything accept that money is your fiancés top 3 concerns, which is very telling. For some women a $30 pair of jeans is great to others a $200 pair would not be good enough. For some women 10 pairs of jeans in the closet are plenty for others its how many they want to buy each month. I would not recommend men consider women that like to judge based on how others spend money on them. Financial spending, contribution and planning should be brought up prior to any marriage.

"Not fourth but still important is how much a man drinks and whether he uses drugs. Most Brazilian women want to avoid men who drink heavily. I hadn't realized this before but there is a completely different attitude towards drugs there compared to here. In NA and Europe some drugs, like marijuana, are not considered a big deal to use. Most Brazilian women see smoking marijuana as equivalent to shooting heroin. Drug use is drug use, period. Decent women will drop a man in a millisecond if he uses ANY illegal drug."

I have not found Colombian women to have high intolerance to marijuana users. Associating all illegal drugs as equally bad shows a lack of knowledge as it is to associate all users as addictive or destructive.

"Also important is sex, specifically, a man's sex drive and sexual desires. In Brazil, men from NA and Europe have a reputation for liking "kinky" sex or an excessive amount of sex. My fiancee says that it is not that they are unwilling to accomodate a man, but that they want to know exactly what they are getting into BEFORE they marry or travel to his country."

“Kinky” I wonder where this comes from, sounds like one of Heat's homemade videos is making its rounds in Brazil :) Any woman who just wants to "accommodate" their man’s sexual pleasure should be avoided. Seek women that have the same desires. Having an equivalent sex drive with your partner is important, but women in loving relationships normally want to do most anything to please their man as long as the favor is returned. They don’t wonder if he may be kinky.

"There is particular fear about being forced into sex slavery, as such cases have been, and still are, widely publicized in Brazil."

Such fears only come from uninformed women, stay away from ignorant women that can’t use common sense for determining if such risk is present.

"Another important issue is a man's dressing and grooming habits. NA and European men, the Europeans more so I think, also have a reputation for dressing badly and not bathing frequently enough. Brazilian womn have a strong preference for well-groomed, nice smelling men."

All women want this.

"I then asked my fiancee whether women are willing to trade off one trait for another, such as less nice dressing for more money. Or will they refuse to marry a man who only showers once a week despite his earning a good salary? Again she became very serious and asked me if I wanted to hear the truth. Of course! A Brazilian woman will ALWAYS marry a foreign man with enough money."

I would doubt most women think like this. Any woman who temporarily makes such arrangements is again a woman that lacks good character. Most people who have bad character believe their thinking is the norm they rationalize that most others are like them. Bad people generally associate with other bad people for who else will have them, so in this small world they inflate their bad value as being broader than reality.

"BUT if he is stingy, if he always smells bad, if the sex is bad, etc., she will ALWAYS divorce him AFTER getting her permanent residency!"
 
One should know all this prior to marriage there should be no such surprise.

"On the other hand, if he is generous, dresses well, smells good, has a good personality, the sex is good, etc., then she will STAY married to him!"

Not one word referencing love and feelings on her importance list.

"So, whether a Brazilian woman is a Green Card shark or not depends less on her character and more on us and our lifestyle!"

This is just an excuse for someone with bad character a blame for their bad intentions.

"If we offer more than just material benefits then we get a permanent wife. Whereas if we offer ONLY material benefits then we get a shark!"

One could just as easily conclude from what you have told us that if you do not provide enough material benefits you will get a shark.

Engage the Exotic - Colombian Women
http://International-Introductions.com

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Jamie on Aug 22, 2005

And now she knows where the Brazilian neighborhood is in the area.  Adios pronto baby!

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Jamie on Aug 22, 2005

Jamie hit's one out of the park.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Jamie on Aug 22, 2005

n/t

... in response to Re: Re: Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Jamie on Aug 22, 2005

Good post Jamie!!
 

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

any woman, brazilian, colombian, amercian, they ALL look for a guy that can support them and a family, this is nothing new and anyone that thinks otherwise is living in a fantasy world, women want to feel protected and secure. the diffence that separates the women that we want from the ones that we should avoid is..who will stick around if you should happen to lose your job. who will stick around when her friends are driving mercedes and she is driving a honda. who will stay when she has to buy things at walmart rather than nordstroms. who are the ones that will cut and run when the going gets tough rather than stick it out. i believe that i´m lucky to have found someone who will stick around during the hard times, life has a way of presenting these hard times every once in a while. my fiancees parents have been through tough situations and both have never wavered from each other, its made their relationship stronger, so i think that my fiancee has had great examples in her parents.
JK

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by jediknight on Aug 22, 2005

Sometimes my wife and I talk about our prior marriages and I can tell that her marriage to her first husband was not a good one. I ask her if he hadn't died, would she ever have divorced him? The answer, never. For her marriage is a lifetime committment.

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by jediknight on Aug 22, 2005


The best of luck to you & yours....

p.s. I think, I'll repost J-Knights post on women once a month   so that the Vets & Newbies remember....

Did I say "thank-you"...

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

Thanks for the informative series of trip reports and "What Brazillian Women Want".

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

Exactly why myself and Bueller have both commented on staying away from them. They are more demanding than American women and whoa to a guy if he loses his job and can't support the habits she will want. From the sounds of men who go to Colombia I think you are safer to find a woman who will stay by your side through think and thin.

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by stefang on Aug 22, 2005

Too add to this
When I was dating and almost brought my fiance on a visa here I saw a lot of what these women were like. I met one of my ex fiances friends who was dating and engaged to a German man. Nice man he had a business was generous with her but as soon as he left town she would go out with another younger friend, very pretty. She liked hanging out with her in clubs because she was picking up guys and helping her friend hook with with younger men as well. I wish I had the guys phone number I would have no problem calling him and telling him to run.
She was older 35 so hanging around with younger women gave her opportunities. Her other friends a lot were dating married men but would complain men are untrusting and they couldn't find a husband. Wake up if your dating married men why would you think they will suddenly marry you? I started wondering about my own fiance? Why is she hanging out with women like this?

The money thing is on. They won't mention it but you can see and feel that they want to be pampered in life. funny how demanding they are as women, they really don't do much themselves to warrant being treated like queens. For you guys that fall in love with their beauty and sensuality, in the future you might wake up from your dream to find out and realize you made a big mistake and it will be costly to support.

Brazilians about marriage. If you read what Brazilophile wrote from her words then you will understand how many of the women feel. What I sensed is a lot of Brazilian women marry more for convenience than true love. They will stay with you as long as you provide to all their wishes. If they do find another guy that may provide a better situation they may just leave you. I know there's stereotypes out there and you should not go by them fully but I would suggest most men would do better in any of the other South American countries.

Brazilian women like to complain about their men, but sometimes I wonder if they made the Brazilian men what they are by their own actions.
I spotted red flags in my relationship that made me realize there was a good possibility that my chances at long marriage were lower than dating here in America.

... in response to Re: What Brazilian Women Want, posted by stefang on Aug 22, 2005


By all accounts BP & the gentlemen from Texas seem quite happy with their Brazilian women. Yes, the success stories are fewer from Brazil, but so are the horror stories! Brazil is different nut to crack in the North American males quest to find life-mate. Women are still women, no matter where they're from....

but there are some differences that make us go South, East & West (I didn't forget this time Ray...lol) in the quest for Love & Life-mate! It's best to get a wide range opinions and/or experiences, before making the decision of where you wanna search.

... in response to What Brazilian Women Want, posted by Brazilophile on Aug 22, 2005

Yikes!