|
Title: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM Some of my friends will cringe for sure.
But,I had dinner with my ex last night.I really like so many things about this woman.She is cute,charming,and has a very sincere manor,even though I know truthfullness in all things is not one of her virtues. She looked good,a few lbs heavier but in the right places,the ones I was always attracted to.She just got hired to a new job yesterday.She did this 6 month medical assisting program.It sounds like the nurses are so expensive they are splitting out some of their duties to medical assistants.She got hired at a good hospital,$19 an hour.I would have hired her too.She is so genuine and so possitive.Might sound like a contradiction for someone who would decieve,but mostly she is very real and genuine.And such a likable person. I am happy for her.Long gone is any thought of wanting her to fall on her face because she rejected me.It just was not to be and mainly my fault for ever happening.I talked to my girlfriend just before I went.I said no preoccupation baby,its all in the past. I just still care about her but the relationship is long over,I tried WAY TO LONG to make it work.She said I know,I am not worried. Wow,its just amazing to me the people whoes lives we affect just living our life.Thats so powerfull.So amazing.I am not sorry I affected this woman,her son and her family in a possitive way. I am just thankfull I was fortunate enough to be able to do so.I mean that in a sense I had to be pretty fortunate to start with to even be able to have a possitive effect. Pete Title: Re: My Ex Post by: Heat on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
I am your friend but I can not understand what you do this to yourself for. She is a user, plane and simple. She married you with the intention of green card sharking you. Why do you even talk to her? She never once loved you.
Yet you have a real nice girlfriend now with a heart of gold and you don't really seem to understand that. Pete, I really like you but you should listen to the other gringos here. You are blind in so many ways. Title: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: thundernco on July 21, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My Ex, posted by Heat on Jul 20, 2005
Well put Heat. I haven't met Pete, however many of my "gringo" friends in Colombia have. I hear the same thing over and over again: he's a GREAT guy, but somebody who allows himself to get suckered time and time again. -TNC Title: Re: My Ex Post by: mudd on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
"I would hire her too, she is so genuine and so positive" You got to be kidding, oh yes, she is just so genuine that the sea parts when she walks, "very real and genuine” sure, now that she took some sucker to the cleaners, got her visa and had her feet planted in the USA at somebody else’s expense. Why wouldn’t she be positive, DUH!!!! Pete, when you post junk like this, you make yourself look like a pathetic idiot. Some info you should not post. Title: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Heat on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My Ex, posted by mudd on Jul 20, 2005
I am your friend but I can not understand what you do this to yourself for. She is a user, plane and simple. She married you with the intention of green card sharking you. Why do you even talk to her? She never once loved you.
Yet you have a real nice girlfriend now with a heart of gold and you don't really seem to understand that. Pete, I really like you but you should listen to the other gringos here. You are blind in so many ways. Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: stefang on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Heat on Jul 20, 2005
I agree with Heat why would you even talk with her. Is she that good looking that you can't see how fake she was before and probably still is? It's good your not angry about it anymore go back to the woman you have now and give her your attention not the ex. Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by stefang on Jul 20, 2005
I totally agree about giving my girlfriend my attention.I talked to her about 2 hours ago.I was talking to my friend at my apartment first.He said there is this girl here with a big smile on her face jumping up and down who wants to talk to you.Heat has her pegged.She does have a heart of gold and totally loves me. I just had to do one more round putting my ex in perspective.I am way passed the being pissed feelings,but that can be healthy at the time. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: stefang on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
It's hard to know how people handle their experiences, maybe your finally closing out your past life good luck on the new path. Title: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: papi on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My Ex, posted by mudd on Jul 20, 2005
Mudd, I am really surprised that you would write this - you seem like a man in the know. Pete is anything but a pathetic idiot. Have you met him? I have and can tell you that you got it wrong Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: mudd on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by papi on Jul 20, 2005
Are you kidding, have you read all his posts on here, about getting burned by his EX Shark. And yet, (this still amazes me) he still talks to her, talks highly of her, and brings it out in the open for everyone to read. I have no sympathy for guys, who are totally blind, get burned over and over and over and just keep coming back for more. If you post krap on here, what do you think everyone is going to think, especially after reading his history on this girl. I have no bad feelings for Pete at all, but if you post info like this, you have to expect some criticism from the board. If somebody wants to talk krap about me, no problem, as long as its justified and i post about something. Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: papi on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by mudd on Jul 20, 2005
hey, we are all human. but the ATM story i just read about is troubling. i would not be a happy camper if that happened to me Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 21, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by papi on Jul 20, 2005
The ATM story is a misunderstanding.It was not her,my girlfriend from last year,but she did steal money from me. Guess I better not say anything about still liking some things about her.But she was way worse than my ex. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: mudd on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by papi on Jul 20, 2005
thats just the"norm" for what he puts himself into. somebody need to go "postal" :-) just kidding, at least kick a little butt. yep we are all human Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: fathertime on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by papi on Jul 20, 2005
I remember when my wife would bring home anger about her older sister. She would expel and release a lot of that anger by utilizing me as a sounding board and she would end up feeling better about her sister. Well the byproduct of that was I had an intense dislike for that older sister. I had no way to release the anger and the sister did not do anything directly to me. I was angry FOR my wife even though she was over it. I think you should let Mudd release whatever anger he has since he and all of us have been a sounding board and have been angry FOR Pete. Of course names are silly but the place he comes from I can relate to. Fatherime Title: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Patrick on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My Ex, posted by mudd on Jul 20, 2005
Rather than looking like a pathetic idiot, I'd say he looks like a mature, realistic, positive man who's moved past his divorce. Would you prefer him to dwell on the negative and bitch and moan the rest of his life about being used? Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Heat on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Patrick on Jul 20, 2005
He's not an idiot. He's a really decent man. That why it hurts some of us who know him to hear this stuff. His X wife is garbage. The first part to finding someone to love you is learning who is using you. Maybe this is tough love I'm giving him here. But he needs to get angry about being used as a doormat by so many Colombians. Title: My Ex Post by: Cali James on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Patrick on Jul 20, 2005
I agree, bitching and moaning, holding a big grudge etc. is a major waste of energy. I think it's best just to move on and let go. Pete seems to be doing fine. I do think he has an extremely rosey view of his ex but he's entitled to I suppose. Title: Re: My Ex Post by: Heat on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to My Ex, posted by Cali James on Jul 20, 2005
Agreed, however why waste time with someone who wants to screw you every time they can. Explain that to me please. If you say it's his choice...wel OK then. But that does not make it right. Title: My Ex Post by: Cali James on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My Ex, posted by Heat on Jul 20, 2005
[This message has been edited by Cali James] I tend to agree with you Heat. I think Pete would be much better off not having anything to do with his ex. Title: I agree Post by: Frank O on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Patrick on Jul 20, 2005
I'm trying to get to the place where he is at. Doing better but occasionally STILL get hit with bouts of depression, anger, bitterness & resentment & generally the "WTF just happened here?" syndrome. Many slagged me here but it WAS a good release. Not to mention many on the EE board knew my saga from THE START. I figure if I can prevent ONE person from repeating what I went through it was worth it. At least he's at the stage where he can sit & talk with her & NOT be resentful. I can't honestly say I'm there YET. Title: Re: My Ex Post by: jediknight on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
many times we don't realize that people enter and leave our lives for a reason, to remind us of who we are, who we should aspire to be or even show us how not to be and sometimes its because they need our help in some way or we need theirs. i've always tried to look at my bad experiences with women in a positive light, made an effort to learn about what i didn't want in a woman before knowing what i did want. forgiving someone for the wrong they did you is also a step in the right direction, you don't need to carry all of that hate and venom, it will only consume you and make you an uglier person. JK Title: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My Ex, posted by jediknight on Jul 20, 2005
I agree.Everybody we let in our life is part of our story and we are part of theirs.For me everybody I ever loved is still important to me in a way.It does seem there was a purpose with my ex.At least some interesting outcomes.Amazing how it all fits together to form our current lives.I think of the house that wouldn't go away so I just had to buy it.The 69 year old woman from Mexico that was my neighbor and is now one of my wifes best friends.She has been a great help to Rocio but Rocio has for her too.Helping her through breast cancer.I was afraid Rocio would have to watch her die,but she survived just fine.I think Rocio has some more contributions in the future in this one. I also think of her friend from Cali that Sylvia that used to be with us helped find a husband.They just had their second child and seem very happy. I used to be very angry and wanted to make my wife wrong for what she did.It was not clear cut scamming.She married a guy who she did not love.But that guy,me,made her an offer too good to refuse very early on when there was no real love relationship.I presumed that would happen.I think she tried. James has a different view from seeing her in the late stages of our relationship when she was making me wrong,but the real reason was she was unhappy with compromising herself.Our wives talked alot.There are lots of details I do not know about or want to that I am sure he knows.Really James that is a negative look at her that is not the total person.She is a good person ALSO,regardless of not always acting like one. So this very green gringo jumps in and marries a cute calena without knowing her well.My mistake.She marries a guy she does not love,but tries to make it work.I immagine that was very hard for her.To be put in the position that you SHOULD love someone you do not.That kills love instead of making it happen.Pressure does not make love grow.I might have handled it differdently,but I added to that pressure with a you owe me attitude and alot of anger because I felt cheated. So,I choose to forgive this person and give her a warm place in my heart.Stupid?Yeah maybe in a way,but I would much rather feel that way.I wish her well also because my step son and even my dog depend on her doing well.And she is doing amazingly well.She is a survivor. That same likable quality that drew me to her still works well for her.She can turn on the charm,but its not phony,its a real part of the person she is. This has come up again at this time because I am in the states and wanted to see her.Just taking sanother look at her as well as the US where I used to live.I like them both but choose to live in Cali and where I have 2 women that love me for me.Yup 2.One for sure,the other in a more casual part time way but I feel loved by her also.AND,that ain't all bad!! I can not complain at all. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: adventuro on July 23, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
what I have learned for me, although it is often very hard to remember in the moment, and maybe even harder do actually DO at times of great hurt and grief, is the power of forgiveness. FOR ME,I have learned that my forgiveness, for whatever transgression, is a gift that I THINK that I am graciously GIVING to the OTHER person...................BUT always, always, always........when that gift is opened.........I find that it is FOR ME. It is the only way I know how to truly move on in my life with a heart that can be full of peace and love.......for myself and all the other wonderful people who are always continually entering my life in so many forms......... (a over simplistic example would be if your best friend "steals" your wife and they fly off to another part of the world,never to heard from again. you spend the rest of your life full of anger and resentment, revisting, and reliving this truly most horrible transgression of a long time best friend and your wife. You allow this hurt, anger and bitterness to affect the rest of your life, your well being and your health, and affect to all those around you,including all those who you hold near and dear...............everyone is affected by your never ending septic anger and resentment, spoken or unspoken.........and then, many years later, maybe at your deathbed, you learn that both your ex best friend and your exwife died in some horrible manner a week after they left. What good, what good did all that hate and resentment SERVE YOU and all those around you FOR SOOOO MANY YEARS........... the gift of forgiveness that we THINK we give to another, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, is really a gift to OURSELVES, a most precious gift, a truly most precious gift TO US. Dont we deserve such a gift????? I say we do. MOST DESERVEDLY DO!!!!!! I am only speaking from the truth of my own experience and not saying such a way of thinking or living is the right choice for others. A I am sad to say I have some gifts that STILL need giving..........maybe I am just waiting for the next 50% off sale..........that being a time when it will be easier to do........but of course, that is a time that will never come, because giving the give of forgivenss is never EASY nor painless.............. but the rewards are priceless to me and the greatest gift I can give TO MY HEART. Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Dan Las Vegas on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
Hey pete to err is human, to forgive is divine! While your ex may have treated your poorly, what is most important is letting go of the anger and sadness and moving on and you seem to be doing a great job of that. I wish you the best in your trip to the states and one day if I ever get to Cali, I'd love to buy you a beer... thanks for all the info you have provided over the past couple of years. Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Avispa on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Like 6:37 Title: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: WS244 on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
Well i trust you will not to take this on a personal level, but more as constructive criticism. If your current girfriend in Cali knows you are visiting your "ex" up here, i would say your Cali girlfriend likes you less than "you for you" but rather more for the "things you have". My Bogota girlfriend would cut my throat (normal thinking in the normal latin girl's culture, and you gringo's who want a loving latin wife beware, for though they are very affectionate, they also have a very jealous inborn nature) catching me looking at other women, dealing with ex wives, girlfriends, etc. While she was up here last month at my older sons wedding, she commented on my ex gringa wifes looks, (though in the back of my mind i knew what she was really thinking "don't look or say anything Gringo si no tu eres muerto en dias minutos". In any case i accept this jealousy on her part, she is a good girl, and could care less if she lived in the states which says a lot for her. While i do not gage a woman on the jealousy scale, if a latin girl shows no jealous traits, it should be a caution flag then to see if they are in to one for other issues. (pardon my spanish 101 to you spanish language PHD's) Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by WS244 on Jul 20, 2005
My current girlfriend Beatriz knows I was going to see my ex.I told her don't worry.She has been with me 9 months and I never talk much about my ex,it just came up with me here.She even talked by phone with my step son,we got together a few days before.He said she sounds like a nice lady. Harder on her is my other girlfriend in Cali who I knew before I met her and who I have been unwilling to give up.She knows about it,doesn't like it but tolerates it,hoping that will go away.I think I shouldn't be doing that but then I see my Angela and don't want to give her up.There is less than complete commitment with Beatriz for me.We will see where it goes.I think she does trully love me,is obsessed with me,but can't really play the jealousy angle because I told her about it going in. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: WS244 on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
Where are you going to be friday night in Seattle? i should be up there, and if i have time might be able to stop by and say hello if you are not be too far from seatac airport. ws Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 21, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by WS244 on Jul 20, 2005
Shoot me a mail at peiguren@aol.com with a phone number if you can.I plan to stay in a hotel near the waterfront.I will be back with E mail,doesn't work here by Thursday night Friday morning. Might be 4-5 guys now??There are 3 for sure with me,you are the second maybe. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: stefang on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by Pete E on Jul 20, 2005
I don't know what Colombianas are like but if you had two girlfriends in Brazil they would also be seeing other guys. Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex Post by: Pete E on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: My Ex, posted by stefang on Jul 20, 2005
It can come down to options.There only options are colombianos who will jusy screw with them but nothing else. Probably never take them anywhere or make them pay their own way.One is 30,the other 39,way over the hill for most Colombianos looking for teens or 20's What makes Colombian good for guys makes it bad for women. Pete Title: Dang!!! I must be pretty ugly right now!!! Post by: Frank O on July 20, 2005, 04:00:00 AM |