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For you that have been kind enough to inquire, I want to give you what little info I have.  Basically, I have come to the conclusion that the latina I was with in Cali was not really interested in me.  I have no understanding of what is really going on, other than the obvious.  I have still never talked to her, and I have now given up.  I must conclude that she was not honest with me.  Why I don't know.  I guess that's the way it goes.  Right now, I have to work and earn a living.  I know that there have been many stories shared on this board about such things.  I must confess that since I do not think along these lines, I am totally confused.  Having said that, I will do something in the future.  Right now, I do not know exactly what. I know at least one thing I will not be doing.  I see no reason for me to attempt to share emails with any  other latina that I have not met first.  All of the effort that I put into trying to build a rapport with this one particular latina has obviously been wasted.  I will not "cast my pearls before the swine" again!  Maybe some of you have other ideas.  My feelings right now are to take care of my business and forget that girl.  Next time, I will be far less trusting.  I did not give her any serious amount of gifts or money.  From my standpoint, it was just little gifts, but they were from my heart.  I was not  foolish enough to spend big money on her; but I still don't like getting mislead and "ripped off".  Whatever her reasons, I guess now I will never know.  I just can't stand dishonest people.  If she was not interested in me, all she had to do was say so.  Well, that's all  I know.  I just want to forget her and get back to my "real life".  Thanks for your interest.

                                 OkieMan

Yes she is listed on the website of Latin-Internet, which is how I "met" her first.  We were corresponding through emails from early January until right before my trip began, May 24th.  I am hoping to get some additional info, but at this point, I see no hope of getting things back on track.  There are people in Cali trying to help me find out more.  I will do my best, but ultimately, I am figuring it is all over.  Thanks again for your concern.

                                    OkieMan

                            OkieMan

Maybe she wasn't interested in you.  Having been a serial dater, I can say that I went out with well over 100 men before I met my boyfriend.  Some of them sounded good on paper, but there was no chemistry, and it was no one's fault.  Some I liked, but they didn't like me.  The opposite was also true.  You can't force these things and you can't get too upset over them because for every person who isn't interested, there is always another one who will be.

I don't think it's fair to call her deceptive - maybe she doesn't know how to put it in such a way that you wouldn't be hurt.  Don't forget that there is also a language barrier.  If you went there and really didn't like her, what would you do?  Maybe you'd write a "Dear Jane" letter.  Or maybe you'd just let it drop because she's far and she'll get the message like this.  People go to any lengths to avoid confrontation.

As far as the gifts and the money go, did she ask you explicitly for anything?  Or did you volunteer the gifts?  Because if she didn't ask for them, you can't blame your generosity on her.  Of course, I never took anything from a man I wasn't related to/had a relationship with, but my mother taught me self-sufficiency and dignity.  If I were her and knew I wasn't interested, I would have politely refused any gifts.  But again, she probably didn't want to sound rude.

Lastly, I was half amused and half scared by the suggestions someone made about harassing the hell out of her and her relatives with phone calls, letters, postcards, etc.  Come on, that's stalking and could get land you in international trouble.  Like a lot of reasonable people said, try calling her, see if you can reach her, and give it a few more weeks.  If you don't hear from her, write her off and move on with dignity.  The angry letters and the public postcards are a shameful, spiteful way of dealing with a situation that cannot be improved.  You're not 16 to resort to that.  Like other people said, you can try meeting a few women next time, or you could look for Latinas in the US.  And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, there's always a next time as long as you stay realistic and don't expect to land a genuine, caring 20-year model.

Mark

I must confess to being surprised about having a lady on this board.  Just out of curiousity, how is it that an Eastern European lady engaged to a Canadian man is on the latin board?  At any rate, thank you for your prospective.  As it stands right now, I am having Pete and his friend Adrian help me finalize what I will do about this matter.  You may or may not know that Pete is an american guy that lives in Cali, and I was staying with him while I was there.  Unless something new develops, I will not be contacting this latina anymore.  I am moving on and for now, I am focusing on work and my life here in the US.  Later, I will save my money and plan my next trip to wherever (Cali, Medellin are my two top choices).  I do not blame the woman for acceptiing any small gifts I gave her.  She did not ask for them, and that is not the issue with me.  I did give her several opportunities to let me know if she was no longer interested, but she chose to tell me she wanted to continue.  In my book, that is deceitful; but I also realize the difference in language and culture come into play.  So, I am just writing this off as a lesson learned, and moving on.

                                 OkieMan

Why would you go back to Cali when you have already acknowledged by going to an "agency party" what many know here????

The largest percentage of agency women in Cali are in the 18-22 year old category.

THEREFORE...the largest percentage of women in Cali will not be what you are looking for!!!

Put the odds more in your favor by visiting other cities Okieman which has a larger perecentage of older women...you have gone to Cali TWICE now...with no success...its time to try somewhere new...

Pete

Why didn't you suggest he go to Latin Best while he was down there? Instead of a All Colombian Girls party which is going to have lots of young women?

Not attacking you my friend...only curious...

Pete can give you his prospective, but let me weigh in on this, since I am the topic of conversation.  I came to Cali to specifically see this one lady.  At that point, I did not want to see anyone else.   After all, I had been corresponding with her for 5 months.  Stupid me, I thought we had something going!  Another guy named Jesse who stays with Pete invited me to go with him to that party with ACG.  The only reason I went is that the girl I was with was supposedly not feeling well, and I did not want to be bored staying by myself at Pete's apartment.  Pete and his girlfriend had their own plans.  When Jesse and I got to the ACG  party, it was obvious that it was a last minute, thrown together thing.  My expectations were low, and I was hungry. So, after about an hour, I left alone.  Jesse decided to stay.  I had some dinner, and ended up spending the evening alone at Pete's apartment anyway.  But, the next day, the girl and I were back together, and I stupidly thought everything was working out well.  So, Pete does not need to take any heat on my account.  I had a great time while I was staying there.  I met Pete, Jesse, and another guy who was there at the time, Jack.  If this thing with this particular 35 year old latina would have worked out, I would be a very happy man!  The young girls at the ACG party were cute, but I was definitely not interested in them.  We had nothing in common.  But, to their credit, they were sweet and tried to get to know me.  To my credit, I was not trying to get in their pants.  So, no matter where I go, I think that I have a better prospective on this deal, and I will certainly be more cautious.

                           OkieMan

Pete

RIght now, I do not know exactly what I will do in the future.  However, I agree that Medellin would be an excellent choice.  I guess time will tell how everything plays out.  I do know that one of my plans is to continue to study spanish.  I want to feel more comfortable speaking to the latinas myself.  Still, I do not plan to wait any longer than necessary to return.  I'm not getting any younger.  I am just trying to find someway to meet the type of lady that interests me.  Evidently, I made some mistakes with this one.

                               OkieMan

I understand what you are saying.  However, as I have already stated, the calena in question is 35.   Certainly all of the available ladies are not just 20 somethings. One of the main reasons why I mentioned trying Cali again is that I am already somewhat famiiar with that city.  But, I am not limiting my search to that city.  I also realize that you have met your lady in Peru.  I am not ruling out Lima either.  But, I must tell you that so far, I have not had any results with meeting any beautiful Peruvian ladies via emails. I wish I could.  I am open to that, but so far, no luck.  But, I have exchanged emails with many Peruvian ladies.  I just was not attracted to them.  Naturally, the best way is go in person, but I do not have the money to turn into a total "globe trotter".  What I am trying to do is find ladies and/ or agencies that interest me, and work on some type of "game plan" for a trip.  Since I have already been to Cali twice, I at least know something of the area.  That might turn out to be a reason to return, and it might turn out that I will travel elsewhere.  Right now, Medellin  also seems to be a very viable city.  But, since I just got back from my last trip, I am a ways off from travelling again.  I have to work for my money.   So, I still have plenty of time to deal with these types of issues.  Thanks for your interest.

                                  OkieMan

IS CALI THE ONLY FRIGEN PLACE YOU GUYS CAN MANAGE TO MEET SOMEONE  ??????????????

Colombia has so many other great cities to meet some wonderful women. And i will put the women  from medellin  up against a girl from cali any day of the week. Go somewhere else and get to know te different subcultures because the woman are all different in personalities  depending on the cities.  

FISH IN A DIFFERENT HOLE FOR A CHANGE.

I read your posts about that girl.  I wish you all the best.  I don't use those type of websites because I am not fluent in spanish.  If someday I can learn more spanish  (that is one of my goals), then I might do that.  Best of luck with your "Southern Belle".

                               OkieMan

I think that is good advice. To some extend, I am already doing that.  I'm just starting out though, and the emotional stress of this last week hasn't helped.  But, one way or the other, I will get going.

                       OkieMan

I don't speak much spanish at all, many of the women that was corresponding with spoke english, those that did not, I used Babel fish to translate the letters. While there were numerous mistakes, I was normally able to get the gist of what they were saying. You might want to give it a try, what have you got to lose?  There are a incredible number of women from South American living in the states.  There are also many sweet women from various countries that have posted profiles.

All I can say is hang in there, You'll have success!!!

Dan

Pete

Pete, the problem isn't Cali, the problem is that a lot of guys put too much emphasis on whether the girl is "hot" at the expense of finding one with character and one who loves them.  Also too many people both men and women end up in love with a fantasy rather than with their partner.  Fantasies run big in the foreign relationship game.  Anyway, when the fantasy dies,  the relationship typically does too.  But some guys just move on too a new fantasy.

I am not knocking Cali , only saying that there are other great places and yes you do need some spanish to go into the other areas and this guy has been 2 times and he might go back. crap, i have been 15 , so it took me a while before i realized there are other places. yes, there is a large concentration of woman in cali and it is easy pickens to say the least, but there are also other places and this guy might want to see the difference of other cities and how the women differe in thoughts and personalitites.

Cali will always be cali, but there are other cities and i would like for the members here to keep an open mind that just because a place has a lot of woman , does not always mean its the best place to meet them.

I am a little surprised you brought up the thing that happened before. She is not a bad person  and we are still good friends. actually saw her in exito in january with ehr boyfriend and we still talk on messenger .

I will stand by my opinion that it is better to meet a girl through a personal ad or friends then an agency, but everyone is different in that aspect.

Actually in a way i hope most guys stick to cali and not screw up the other places like they did there with throwing tons of money around and acting like Idiots. You know i am correct on that one.

Anyway., disregard my other post guys.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO FISH ONLY IN CLAI, PLEASE I BEG OF YOU

CHAO

K

I am a little confused.  You are knocking Cali, but in your personal info, you mention that you are married to a calena.  Are you still married to her? If not, then please explain.  Evidently, you are very experienced, so to use your words, I want to "pick your brain".   Also, as I have said many times, I am not "married" to Cali.  I have only been there twice; which is nothing compared to 15 times to wherever, like yourself.  But, a guy has to start somewhere.  Cali was the logical choice for me at that time.  Everyone has their on preferences, likes and dislikes in women.  Since I am just starting, I have a lot to learn.  I only wish I were younger.  But, the advantage to me now is that my 3 sons are all grown.  I live alone, so I can be more flexible with my work schedule than when I was 30 or 40.  so, feel free to fill me in.  While your at it, you can lend me your "crystal ball".  That might help to figure out these women! ha

                        OkieMan

Yes, i am married to a calena, but it has been a terrible marriage and it is coming to an end . I met her at LE, pused into the marriage really by the qwner and the fact i was a green  gringo with no spanish skills. Was she hot ?, DAMN STRAIGHT, ONE OF THE BETTER LOOKING ONES IN LE, was she crazy ? DAMN STRAIGHT, ONE OF THE MORE CRAZY ONES IN LE !

We seperated for almost a year and i traveled so many times to different cities there in a year, avianca should have made me a a like member.

I am not bragging, but i have dated more then 200 colombian woman in the past 4 years from almost all of the different cities. Most of those dates came after my wife and i seperated. Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you i have a knack for spotting a scammer, con artist, visa hunter, platta hunter or just a plain out bad hearted colombiana. Again, school of hard knocks  as i learned the game from my wife

I do not claim to be an expert on anything, but i do have the sixth sence about these girls and i can tell you that you are fishing in dangerous waters in cali, well, in latin america in general, but cali has for so long been trashed and polutted by gringos that were stupid like i was  and then they throw around money like it is candy. I actually went with my wife and her sister to meet a man at an agency her sister wanted to meet. He started the meeting by laying out photos of his BMW, PORCHE, AND HIS MANSION IN SANTA BARBARA --I ALMOST PUKED ON THE GUY RIGHT THEN AND THERE !

This is the kind of stupid crap that you see in those agencys and when a good guy comes along , they can get sucked up into the illusion that just there hearts are wanted and the rest is not important. well, maybe if they have not been exposed to the crap for brians like the guy i just mentiond, maybe, but i will tell you this, if the woman has been in the agency longer then 1 year and she is a really good looking woman, GTFO  FAST !!

SHE IS AN "AGENCY PROFESSIONAL "
MOST OF THE GUYS HERE ON THIS FISHRAP WILL TELL YOU I AM JADED, OH CONTRAIR, NOT JADED, SMART AND CANNOT BE SCAMMED

THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE.

LOOK, I REALLY DO N OT CARE IF ANYONE AGREES WITH ME OR NOT, I HAVE MY OWN LIFE AND DREAMS AND A PLAN TO ACHIEVE THEM, I ONLY TELL IT LIKE IT IS AND THIS IS BASED ON MY EXPERIENCES AND THOSE OF THEM FRIENDS I HAVE MET IN MY TRAVELS

THERE ARE SUCCESS STORIES OF MEN HAPPLY MARRIED TO CLAI WOMEN AND COLOMBIAN WOMAN IN GENERAL, BUT CALI OF TODAY IS A MUCH MORE DANGEROUS PLACE TO SHOP FOR A WIFE THEN THE CALI OR 5-8 YEARS AGO WHEN THE WOMEN WERE NOT SO ACUSTOMED TO BEING WINED AND DINED AND EXPERTS AT PARTING A GRINGOS MONEY FROM HIM USING HER LOOKS AND CHARMS

BUT CALI IS GOOD IF YOU WANT TO MEET TONS OF WOMEN EASY, I WILL 100% ENDORSE THAT, BUT JUST BCAUSE THERE ARE TONS OF WOMEN SOMEWHERE DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN ITS THE BEST PLACE  TO SHOP

CRAP, TJ MACKS HAS TONS OF CLOTHES, BUT FINDING SOMETHING WORTH BUYING IS A DIFFERENT STORY

I am sorry that your wife and you couldn't work it out.  Is she in the States with you?  You mentioned that you have been separated for a good while.  May I ask why the long separation?  At any rate, I will keep my guard up.

                         Thanks,
                         OkieMan

I do not think that Cali is the only spot.  SO far, I have been there twice.  However, as has been noted here many times, there are many agencies there; so the availability and activity is easy to find.  I agree that Medellin is a great city (based on what I have read and heard).  I am giving that city strong consideration.  Also, I am already  familiar with the CSH agency. Whatever will happen, it isn't going to be tomorrow, so I still have plenty of time to work out the details.  In the meantime, I will be working and trying to make my plans for down the road.

                          OkieMan

Care to elaborate on the treatment/protection of foreign women as mentioned in your profile?

If you like her, I wouldn't give up, just yet. I would continue to try telephoning and writing her for another couple of weeks.  Again, send the "registered mail" or person-to-person telegram if necessary just to be able to truly "count her out".  You want the DEAR JOHN letter.  She may be playing the field to keep the options open, and you want to close it for your sake.  She needs to make a decision; if not, you may always have lingering doubts.

Some other things:  

(1) Have you tried to call her son, parents, aunts, uncles, other relatives?  Hire a local translator, a local educated Mexican will do, that can eloquently express how worried you are.  Have this person write the "I'm really worried letter" for you and get his or her advice.

(2) Have you written her at two or more addresses? Don't forget relatives' houses--they can sometimes keep her reminded to "fish or cut bait".  If she doesn't like you, they will keep on her to write the "Dear John" letter.  

(3) Wait for letter turn-around time.  After a week, send the same message cleared by your Spanish translator--this time on POSTCARDS.  And, keep it up. These seldom get stolen because they are of little or no value, but just about everyone in the handling chain reads them.  You are intentionally getting the neighborhood grapevine going.  Your postcards will be the talk of the community.  They may make fun of you--(Do you really care about their opinions)...  But, they will continue to rib her until she gets them to stop.  If the communications chain truly has broken down, someone will help her get a definite message through to you.

(4) If you really like this gal and you are willing to spend some cash, try the person-to-person phone call with a trusted interpreter on the line.  (Your trusted interpreter can be excused for the purpose of seeking information...)  It can cost as much as $20 for the first minute.  But, how much is finding out the answer worth?

(5) If you are just "head-over-heels" and the person-to-person phone call doesn't work, try the person-to-person telegram. Even try the secured response if it is available. They're expensive, but these guys, at least in Asia, don't give up until they deliver--ANYWHERE!

Whatever you do--GIVE CONCRETE CONTACT INFORMATION!!!

Here are some reasons:  

First, if she is working every day, and does not own her own transportation, she only has a small window of time each day to try a new mode of contacting you. She may try for a couple of hours, but she only has one new method in the repetoire.  She also may not be as versed as you are in different communications methods and technologies.  This can easily take a week if the phones and/or e-mail are on the fritz.  I can recite the, "We're sorry, all circuits are busy now.  Please try your call again later." and various other error messages in several different languages.  I've even had this happen to me while trying to contact my parents form Taiwan back in the 1980's; and the ROC is not a third-world country.  Several days had gone past before I finally sat down to write a letter telling the story and saying I had arrived in good condition.  My parents tried for days, and just like your situation, some of the calls did go through, and I was getting the message that they were trying.  However, none of the people receiving the calls spoke English well enough to relay any messages(at all) in return.  This was frustrating!

Second, if any of her doubts, which are probably quite real, are based on your commitment to her, attempts to contact her may answer the question.  I have been told that upstanding American men from the Mid-Western United States can seem emotionally cold or distant compared to the hispanic man.  She has to understand you are practicing retraint, not indifference.  From what I hear, she lives in a society where commitments are more fluid and variable, and she may not know enough about our culture to be able to interpret it.  After all, Hollywood does not represent the Heartland.

Third, forcing her into a decision can teach you bundles worth every cent in understanding this culture:  

If all of this brings her back into the fold, I would be very cautious and take things slowly and methodically.  Take you Spanish class, and use her as a practice audience for your writing. Even ask her to help. Write about whatever subject catches your fancy--your purpose is to learn the way women in this culture respond.  I would continue to write to other women unless I had proposed to this lady.  Write the "safe" letters screened by your trusted translator to the new women, and just "write" to this one.  If, in the end, she decides she loves you, you have found a gem--one that accepts you mistakes and all.  If not, you have been able to make your mistakes, and learn from your mistakes, in an environment where it did not matter and did not hurt you.  In that case, these are cultural and linguistic mistakes you will not make with your real future wife.

If it doesn't, you know for sure; and, you know what it takes to force a hispanic woman "into the corner" and make her take a "yes" or "no" stand on a difficult issue.

Some advice for next time:

Set up a concrete communications schedule at the end of each communication if possible.  Something to the effect of, "I will call you at 8 pm, Tuesday.  If that doesn't work, at 9, 10, and 11 on the hour.  If you do not hear from me by 11, attempt to call me collect, etc.  If no luck, try next day at 8,  9, 10 on the hour; call parents' house next day, etc."  Given communications nowadays, don't forget internet, messenger servies, e-mail, and postal service.

Hope this helps, and best wishes!

Mark

That is the plan.  But, it appears that is easier said than done for many of us.  Otherwise all of us would be happily married, and life would be a lot less complicated.
Ironically, I thought I had that all figured out over 25 years ago.  But, after 2 american ex-wives, I obviously did not.  Life should not be this tough, but apparantely it is.

                              OkieMan

I have tried numerous times to call her, with no luck.  Her son called me the other night, and asked me if I wanted to talk to his mother.  I told him yes, and he was trying to get her on the line.  Before she was to speak, the line went dead.  I tried to call back and could not get through.  I have had several people attempt to call her on my behalf, and I still am  (Pete is helping too).  But, having said that, I will not beat a dead horse to death.  Hopefully, I can get a more definitive answer today; but at any rate, unless some new info comes to light,  I am moving on.  Thanks for your suggestions.

                               OkieMan

                            OkieMan

Thanks for your input.  Yes, I am 52.  The lady I was seeing is 35, so she is not some twenty-something.  She should have found a way to let me know she was not interested, after the first day or two; at least that's my opinion.  But, when I am ready to travel again, I will be much smarter (I hope).  Next time, I will not put my eggs in one basket, so to speak.  Right now, I don't even want to write to any woman.  I figure that wherever my search leads me, I will keep it light and simple (at first).  At some point, I might send you my info.  Right now, I don't want some nice lady writing me and trying to engage me in some type of "get acquainted" conversation.  I am  just not in the mood!  However, at some point, I will try, try again!  Thanks again.
                              OkieMan

If I understand correctly, then you made a "one-woman" trip to Cali?  In my experience, very bad idea.  Write to many, many women in any specific Colombian city before making a trip.  Keep your options open.  Date many, many women in the specific Colombian city once you arrive.  Keep your options open.  You will be amazed what a little "competition" from other women will do to "motivate" a woman.  Many women (possibly most women) do not respect the "Mr. Nice Guy" approach - even if sincere.  Do not narrow the field down to just one woman prematurely.  Just a suggestion.  Stay positive and alter your strategy on the next trip.  Good luck.

                  OkieMan

On the flipside, there is nothing compared to a Latina that is truly crazy about you either.  Listen to the people in the forum that have one.  They are some the most satisfied men on earth.    A Latina that is with you is one of the best women a man can have IMHO.  Don't settle for anything less.  That the secret, by the way. Dont settle.  American men are used to settling and in LA you don't and should not settle for anyone who is not absolutely crazy about you!!!  It does not matter if she is a professional or a very poor girl.  Latinas that want you will always be available.  I don’t care if they work 15 hours a day.  They come home after a 15 hour day and want to hear from their man!!!!  Don’t give up…….I have not!!!!!!

Anyone disagree with this??????/

                  OkieMan

You should feel complimented.

                        OkieMan

I have seen this happen before . It is very possible the ex heard she was seeing someone and came back and smooshed her. Latin guys can really turn the charm on if they want to and this might be the case with your girl .

If you guys were intimate  and she has not talked to you, chances are she is struggleing with something like an ex

KB

All I can say about that is that she swore to me that she did not have a Colombian boyfriend.  All of that was supposed to be over long ago.  We talked about that in our emails before my trip.  However, since this all ended the way it did; I would not be surprised.  If so, then that would be one more indication of her being untruthful.  If that is not the situation, then I am still back to guessing.  By the way, did I mention that I saw Rod Serling on my airplane ride back home?  He informed me that I had just entered the "Twilight Zone"! ha

                            OkieMan

I have experienced both; very affectionate and not so affectionate.  I have found it to be a very accurate measure of the sincerity of a Latina's romantic interest.  A Latina whois sincerely interested in a man won't allow more than a few days to pass by without some type of communication or contact, and will be VERY offended if you do.  

OKM, I think you should still try to contat her so you ca get closure.  But DO NOT let your experience with her taint your dealings with other women.  There are far too many good Latinas looking for AM for you to get discouraged over one.  

But perhaps you should modify your selection process.  I noiced that most of the adjectives you used to describe the email exchanges and your trip were emphasized how decently she was treating you.  That is the perspective of a man who has been beaten down by AW.  With Latinas you need to choose the ones who treat you GREAT, like you are the only man who matters to them.  There was a guy here, Raphael, whose test was whether the Latina was CRAZY about him or not.  He preferred plain women who were crazy about him to attractive women who treated him only decently.

Does anyone know what has happened to Raphael?

You are also right about the second thing you said - it doesn't matter how tired they are or how much they work - if they want a relationship with you they'll work for it. After I came back from meeting my wife for the first time, she was emailing me and calling like crazy. I never had a moment's doubt about how she felt or where I stood with her.

You are truly blessed!  Maybe someday I will find a woman who will truly love me, instead of a boat load of BS!

                                 OkieMan

Before tossing in the towel I would make sure I talk to her directly.  I guess you are trying to use a translator to talk to her but I would just call her directly.  I think you can put together a few spanish words that ask her if she is interested, etc..

I know it doesn't look good, but you never know.  Call her on her actions or lack of actions.  

There are several possiblities, one is that she is waiting for you to call her and convey to her that you are interested in her and the other is that she is indeed not interested and not willing to tell you directly.  

After you speak to directly, then I think you can make the call regarding her feelings.

as for as letter writting, do what you feel comfortable.  Personally  would never go 2000-3000 miles hoping to find the write person cold or relying on an agency.  You will find men that have done both methods, but I think ther is a fair share of men that have started with some letters, followed by phone calls and then a visit(maybe to one or two or three women in one trip).

I have to agree with ChrisF however, you need to focus on learning some basic spanish first so you can call and talk to the women directly and not rely on translators etc.  even if you can't speak it fluently,it helps tremondously.
Or you could find a woman that speaks English (there are some out there).  

Finally don't be bitter, just be honest with yourself because if you close yourself up and become distrusting, you will turn off a good woman that could be your true love.  Do be smart, but allow yourself to be found by love and to find it as one of famous posters would say.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.  I am doing fine.  Just somewhat disappointed.  My Dad told me a joke many years ago.  A guy was depressed, and his friend told him, "Cheer up, things could be worse", etc etc.  So, the guy cheered up and sure enough things got worse! ha ha

Another old wise saying I heard many years ago.  "Life is like bowl of cherries.  Sometimes you get the cherries, and sometimes you get the pits!"  Or I could go with the Forrest Gump thing about life being like a "box of chocolates". ha

                        OkieMan

It is very kind of you to invite me to Panama.  Who knows, at some point, I might go there.  But, for now, I have to concentrate on earning more money.  I work for a living, I am not retired.

                          OkieMan

Sorry to hear about your situation.

As you know...I met my fiancee in Lima Peru. I have been to Cali three times in 2002 and 2003. I also "put all my eggs in one basket" in Cali one time....and nothing panned out.

It is time for you to try another city. Many guys have had success in other cities after first going to Cali. The situation with Cali is that it has a very large percentage of very young uneducated women  ( 18 - 22). This is not the best wife material for a man who is in his late forties to fifties.

I would highly reccommend you give Lima Peru a try. Join Matchingsys.com or Cherry Blossoms. Lima has a larger percentage of older women for your age group. The women are also more educated and the women are much more receptive and Americans are still considered a "novelity" there.

While I may be biased towards Lima Peru. I honestly could recommend Bogota as well. While I did not find what I was looking for there in my two visits, it is a great place with very nice educated and mature ladies. ( over 25)

Do not give up on your quest Okieman. I have been to South America numerous times over a two year period before finding what I wanted.

Your special lady is out there as well.

Before your next trip....take the time to study as much Spanish as possible.

Feel free to email me at KFremont@aol.com if you have any more questions about Lima Peru or Bogota.

The best to you.

Thanks for your comments and recommendations.  Last year, I did join Matchingsys.  I had my photo and profile listed, and I received many emails.  It's just that I have never seen very many attractive women on that website.  I even received emails from women who were not on that particular website, but were from Peru.  I just was not attracted to them.  Having said that, I will keep my options open on other cities.  I have also heard many good things about Medellin.  So, I certainly have many options. I just have to work for a while, and save my money, and then plan on where I will go.  In the meantime, life goes on.

                                OkieMan

Pacino

I hear you, and yes, I plan on learning more spanish, but it will take time.  I guess this seems to be part of the learning process.  I guess none of this is easy.

                            OkieMan

Don't give up....in my earlier post I mentioned that I had written to many women and had received many letters, most of which were not for me...I met several of them, but nothing clicked until February of this year when I wrote to a woman from Venezuela who had been in the USA for five years and now lives in North Carolina. Our relationship is going strong, she is the most marvelous woman whom I ever met and treats me like a king!!!  While I don't claim success yet, I think we are well on the way.

Don't get discouraged over this, there are many wonderful women out there, some even in the USA. Good luck and keep looking...

Dan