Certain Cali Women

[Pete E]

I will try to clean this up to be acceptable to Patrick.I know only philosophical discussions of things like prostitution are allowed.
And if I cross the line I hope a warning is all I get,this list and the people I have met here are very important to me.
This IS a philosophical discussion.

A post I did on Latin woman list:

Along that line- - I was talking to one of my friends tonight who spends alot of time
in Cali.Hookers are --,--- pesos at the casas,but for ---,--- (5 times as much)pesos you get the cream of the crop, 9's, movie star or better material for the whole night at your place.Thats about $--. Say 3 times a week,thats $---,for absolutely gorgeous girls,no strings or commitments.And anything you want sexually as much as your up for for 10 hours.
For a guy who spent several hundred thousand dollars the last 4 years being with a woman(I spent alot of it on me also) who didn't even want sex and who was totally limited and uninspired when she would go for it it doesn't sound too bad.
But I really do want the whole deal,love,marriage,commitment,companionship.Thats what I intend to find.Thats what I thought In was getting before.But just for a change of pace for a sexually deprived guy (would you believe maybe 10 times this YEAR???)it doesn't sound too bad.Actually pretty good.But hot chick or not it always felt a little empty before.But maybe it doesn't have to.
Maybe a good way to clear my head and get over any separation pain.
God I really did want my marriage to work.I gave it every thing I had,emotionally and financially ,I held back nothing.But it was a total loser ,a complete disapointment,a cheat a rip off and a fraud.And she is trying hard to come up with reasons (lies) it was not that.She can't admit the truth.I can understand it would take a big person to fess up and tell the truth.Only recently has she been willing to admit even a little of the truth,and I have to drag that out of her
So on to plan B.
I hope Lester isn't as sensitive to such a discussion as Patrick on Planet love or I could be out of here.

Pete

[Michael B]

... in response to Certain Cali Women , posted by Pete E on Nov 25, 2003

Well, personally, I've never been 'John'...I did drive a cab for a while (like I told Calipro, keep a 1/5 of Beam in the trunk, never know when it might be worth 5 times its face value to a party group or a dating couple after the  bars are closed). I'm sure any driver (in ANY city, LA or USA) could take you 'where the action is' (where I drove was about a 60,000 city, we had two for white clients and one for blacks...yeah, I know, that's discrimination, ha ha, but hey, the whole business was illegal in the first place, so nobody ever filed any civil rights complaints, ha ha, they just went where they were welcome and took care of business)....hey, remember the Rodney Dangerfield joke? "I got back into town a couple of days early, so instead of going home, I told the driver 'Take me where the action is'...he took me home".

Well once I was ALMOST a John (maybe I've told this story here before? I don't remember). One time when I was living in Mexico City, I struck out with a girl I really liked and was feeling down about it, so as a favor, the guys 'fixed me up'....I took her to dinner, took her to a movie, dropped her off at home. Next day the guys asked me about her (i.e 'was she any good?')....only then did I figure out Oh, she was a 'pro' that they had hired, to 'help me out'....they were disappointed that they had wasted their money, hee hee.

Anyway, I'm sorry your wife didn't do you right, goodness knows you tried, did everything, were totatly commited (and certainly did right by her kid too). Some women have the entire world fall into their lap and just aren't smart enough to see what they've got....but don't let her make YOU bitter. Sure, you could go to LA and be a playa, but you know that isn't really YOU....you have so much personality and just plain ol' 'good guy-ness' in you that any smart woman looking for a SERIOUS relationship (as oppossed to just a fling or a little gold digging) will jump all over you. You'll have to beat them away with a stick, not the ho's, but good decent marriage minded women. Just go, be yourself (just be a little more careful to fully know the women better than last time), and guarantee you'll soon get a good one who's main goal in life is to make YOU happy.

Well, so much for rambling and telling two silly (but true) stories, but I hope that everything goes well for you, and I think I can say that for the rest of the people on the board as well.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re:  Certain Cali Women , posted by Michael B on Nov 25, 2003

Michael,
Yeah,I'm really not a player,or haven't been in the past.And I think we are looking for more than just sex.Sex can be fun and exciting but its nice to cuddle up with someone you really care about afterward.Its a funny thing,this man woman deal,but its alot more than just sex to us I think.
I guess my mind just went along with the thought of it,yeah that could be fun and exciting,particularly in light of how little I have experienced in this marriage.Sometimes I let myself get in to this look how much I gave and how little I was given.I can get right down to doing the math,I'm kind of analytical.And those hot Calenas would definetly have cost alot less for alot more,in regards to sex.Hookers seem kind of honest by comparison.If they take your money you get their services.And if they thought you could be a repeat customer they will usually do their best at it.
But as I said,it was always a little empty for me in the past.I did it 3 times,in Nevada where its legal and safe.I used to drive by the Mustang ranch east of Reno every time I drove home to Idaho,maybe 60 times I went past there.One time a friend took me there,one time I stopped myself.The girl I was with the night before wasn't up for it so I said what the hell.I even told the hooker about it.She said "she wouldn't give you no P----?"Funny thing,I never called back that girl and she looked me up.Next time we got together she had someone take her kids for the night,I guess that was her issue.One other time in Winnemucca I got a little drunk and wandered down to the "loop" district.It was funny because as kids we knew what it was but never went their.One of my cousins friends tried to go when he was 14 but they kicked him out.So I found that place we knew about as kids and sure enough,thats what it was.
So if I look at give and recieve I always feel cheated.Even if she had the best of intentions going in she soon changed her mind,but was not shy about taking all the benefits.One time she was complaining about a friend who was hesitant to spend alot of money for something for his step son.She said he assumed that responsibilty when he married her.
And I said "I never hesitated to give anything to you or your son,but what responsibility did you assume? " No answer,avoid question.
I feel a little bad doing the post above.I still think my wife is basically a good person,thats why its so hard to admit even to herself what she did.I still love her and I like her as a person.But it was such an incredibly bad and unfair deal for me in so many ways,I do feel used and abused and unappreciated.
I told one of my married female friends how my wife had admitted she had no romantic feelings for me and was not attracted to me.After 3 1/2 years of marriage I got her to admit what I knew all along.My friend  said "Oh,but your adorable" Thanks Norma,I wish my wife felt that way.How I have been treated makes me feel anything but adorable.
I kind of liked the idea of being the husband,of giving all that I could to make her happy.I thought I could give her so much and change her life and her sons life so much that there would be no question that she would do everything she could to make me happy.But just the opposite,violate one of the basic laws of relationship,be too giving and too available and you will be considered less desireable.We want what we can't have and don't want what we can have.Its why the bad guys get all the action and the good guys get screwed,figuratively that is.

Pete