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I'm glad I found this forum & I would be very grateful for any help any of you can lend. I have had experience with Fil. ladies here in U.S. and can help some of you too.

I'm 48 (look 5 yrs. younger) & the clock is ticking & I'm real concerned.
I will try to keep this short as possible, but it is a big subject.

First I need to say, I've had 2 LTRs' w/ Fil. ladies here in U.S. My age & one older (now 60 & still looks very nice but, really too old, she has told me this herself). But, this lady has been absolutely wonderful to me and given me so much love and, she has the most wonderful personality. But, very sadly, it's time to move on - her family (grown kids) get in the way too much & she & I don't have hardly any time together lately. The clock is ticking fast.

So, I need to find out from any of you here, what is the best, most cost effective and time efficient way of getting a good & I mean good-hearted, normal & emotionally stable as possible, wife from the Filipines.

It sounds great at first to have a young (I'VE THOUGHT HARD ABOUT THIS) 25 y.o. or so, w/ no kids, exciting too, U bet ! & a clean slate. But, What's going to happen when you're in your 60's & she's still in her 30's- Think about it ! I can tell you some really bad stuff I've seen here in So. Cal.

I'd feel safer w/ one closer to my age, as U all know a Filipina in her 40s' can easily look like 30s' anyway. BUT - Try to find one w/ out kids (hey, they are NOT mine !) If they're grown(early 20s') maybe ok. AND hopefully she has NO bad baggage. AND, guys, ONE THAT HAS NOT BEEN A BAR GIRL, Pllleeeeese! Have any of you had this experience ? I've herd of many GIs'& non-GI who married women like this and only a few of those marriages ever worked out & some ended w/ disasterous results ! These women are ok 4 a "good time". Some very small % can be fairly good human beings BUT the damage has still been done.

I would be very grateful for any help, Thanks in advance

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Can you tell us about this really bad stuff you see in So California? greg

... in response to Re: Newbie to this group needs some seri..., posted by greg on Mar 23, 2001

Hi Greg, sorry for not replying sooner, I missed your post, HTML format of this group makes it easy to miss things.
Anyway, I've herd a number accurate stories from my now ex. of 4 + yrs. & others of Fil. (& of course women of other races as well) women here cheat on their husbands. Even to the extent of getting pregnant w/ other men, having the child, & in some cases (jeeeeessss!) the husband thinks it's his ! OR knows it's not his & whimpishly goes along w/ the whole situation. NOTE: He will have to pay  child support for the next 18 yrs. on a child that's NOT his ! IMO, a man who would put up w/ that has NO self-respect at all. NONE !

Men who do find themselves in this position should demand a DNA test. In fact reguardless, it should be done just to be absolutely sure the child is really yours. NOTE: A real statistic here - in 1 out of 7 cases, the real father IS NOT the husband ! AND, think about this, not that many have the DNA test done so the actual stat. could be more like 2 out of 7.

Here in So.Cal. there are so many temptations & opportunities for a woman (men too) to fool around.

Anyway, of course, there are the green card sharks too. But then, maybe the guy just wants a 2-yr. fling & he doesen't care.

In short, I would strongly recomend doing a pre-nuptual agreement. If she really wants to marry you, she'll sign it.

more later, Andrew777

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Hey Andrew:

Contact me via my email address.

I can share a name and address for a very good 38 year old lady.

Stephen

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Hey Andrew:

Contact me via my email address.

I can share a name and address for a very good 38 year old lady.

Stephen

... in response to Re: Newbie to this group needs some seri..., posted by Stephen on Mar 22, 2001

Thanks much Stephen. I'll go for it. BTW, I e-mailed you earlier today, did you get my msg.?

... in response to Re: Re: Newbie to this group needs some ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

I have not received it yet.  Please make sure it was not returned.

Here's the address:

brittain@usa.com

The lady that I want to share with you is really a good person.  I think you will like her.

Stephen

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Stephen on Mar 23, 2001

I got you 1st reply w/ her name etc. earlier (about 4:30 PM this date) e-mail propagation is stange sometimes.

There is no time stamping on this board, so in case I'm being redundant.

Anyway, She does seem very nice, I'll give you a call tomorrow.

Thanks for your assistance, much appreciated Steve.

Andrew777

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

1st. THANKS SO MUCH ! Tim, Dave H, Jim H, Zebson, humabdos, & Carl (did i leave anyone out ?)
Your very propmt and realistic advise will be well taken here. It makes excellent sense. AND thanks again,this seems like a really great group. I'm glad to be here & can contribute some interesting info that some of you may or may not know.

The shark infested waters: I agree. A bang stick is ok, but depth charges might be needed as a last resort (hehehe)

Being in So. Calif. you can meet lots of people, lots of Fil. women here. I guess many of them come here to the U.S. on work contracts & with some luck, maybe I could find a good 1 here. About 40% of the nurses here are Fil. BUT, If they can come here that way, on their own, they can be pickier about men they meet here & thay can also become more spoiled as time goes by. ALSO, you do have more competition here from other men.
I will say 1 thing though, I know it's not 100%, but a nurse is far less likely to have ever worked in bars + if she becomes an RN, she'll make 40 to $75k / yr.. What do you all think about what what I've said in this paragraph ?

Personals ads on the net: Fast & efficient IMO. The big BUT is this - The women get 100s' of responses very rapidly.
Its' a rat race of competition for us men ! IMO, Good looks & and/or a fat wallet go far here. And, most of the women get high expectations way beyond reason. All-in-all though, I feel it can be fun too. I could start a whole new thread on this big subject.

My "oldies" lady, YES, an absolute gem ! A petite and very shapely spanish filipina with a heart of gold. She's is a very jealous little thing, and does have her faults of course. All-in-all, she is one of this best things that ever happened to me. We've had great times together, she thinks I'm super romantic & smart & digs riding in my 400+ horespower classic muscle car. Yes, It goes real fast & gets really bad gas milage (hehehe)

BTW, I've noticed that many Fil. women put a big value on a man being loving & romantic. I like that.

Also, here's another big ? on the flip side : Fil. women do seem to lie a lot about even things that they don't have to lie about.
Do you guys (or any ladies here) have experience w/ this ?

Thanks again, everyone, Andrew777

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Also, ask God to help find you the right one.
sure worked for me. Since he helped, I do not worry when I get too old. No, I am not too old even at 70!!
Carl

... in response to Re: Newbie to this group needs some seri..., posted by Carl on Mar 22, 2001

Thanks Carl, and may you make it to 100+ !

Andrew777

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Welcome Andrew,

Sounds like the "older" woman might be a real gem. To bad she can't keep her kids at bay. Since women usually live longer than men, life expectancy might be about the same.

If I were in a hurry to meet as many women as possible, in the most efficient way, I would join several penpal clubs. I would start writing to as many ladies that fit my criteria, as possible. I would write a general letter, but try to personalize it for each lady (computers make it easy). At the very least, I would put her name on top. I would also consider placing a personal add. Which clubs are the best? I will leave that question for guys that have used various clubs and have opinions (I met through a friend). Getting the ball rolling is the easy part, trying to keep up with it is the hard part. I would come up with a list of my criteria and narrow the field down as quickly as possible. It seems that you already have a good idea of what you are looking for. After narrowing down the field to just a few ladies, I would slow things way down and concentrate on getting to know each lady much better. If I felt that several had real potential to be the new Mrs. Dave H., I would go for a visit. I wouldn't be in a hurry. If none worked out, I would start again and would reconsider some ladies that didn't make it to the final phase. In the end, it will not be cheap, but might be well worth the cost. If my married life turns out well with my fiancee, I will consider my expenses a bargain. Again, don't be in a rush at the final phase. A bad choice can cost many thousands of dollars to rectify, not to mention the heartache. Most of us have been there...

I hope you will get lucky and find that one special lady quickly. Some people will say that I made it sound like car shopping...well, I feel at first it must be handled like a business. Then you can become personal with the clients.

Good Luck!

Dave H.

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

It can be done but weeding out the Gold diggers is very very hard! Be careful Andrew! you are swimming in shark infested waters!  Humabdos

... in response to Re: Good luck!, posted by humabdos on Mar 22, 2001

N/T

... in response to Not the dreaded "Brown Shark" ..., posted by Dave H on Mar 22, 2001

N/T

... in response to Not the dreaded "Brown Shark" ..., posted by Dave H on Mar 22, 2001

The dreaded "gold" and "green" sharks! 8-0 Humabdos, hand me my bang stick.

Dave H.

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

Andrew,

Many OCWs (Overseas Contract Workers) stay on the job until they are into their 40s.  In Hongkong I have met a few who were never-married, childless, not ugly, and according to close friends, never intimate with a man.  Others who were married (to carefree, gambling Filipino husbands) had fully grown or teenaged children.  Either way, there are thousands of them in Hongkong.

Welcome to the board,
Jim

... in response to Newbie to this group needs some serious ..., posted by Andrew777 on Mar 22, 2001

...This "clock is ticking" attitude has burned many guys. They try to make their search fit into some kind of timetable, so they rush into a marriage without getting to know the woman. Yes, they may be married and have her stateside within a year of starting, but then Real Life sets in, problems arise, and oftentimes the marriage dissolves.

There is no reason for this misfortune to happen to you. Exercise a little patience, restraint, and common sense and you'll end up much happier. At 48, you are still a young man. Take your time and enjoy the search.

Welcome to the board,

Tim  

... in response to First Off...Forget this "Clock Is T..., posted by Tim on Mar 22, 2001

Tim, I agree...Many women in PI feel life begins at 40 for men, even American women are attracted more to men at this age....And from a maturity, stability and mellowing stand point, I would say it's true. As a 43 year old..I can see things so much clearer now and more realistic also. I feel like my life is just beginning. Althought it's a relative, at this point from what I have been through so far in life I feel blessed just to be alive and kickin.

... in response to Re: First Off...Forget this "Clock ..., posted by Zebson on Mar 22, 2001

I agree, and i am 44 myself, but taking my time, not in
a rush, even though i would love to have a loving lady
here, i wont rush it, plan to make about 4 trips

... in response to wat a nice age we are..., posted by outwest on Mar 22, 2001

You plan to make about 4 trips to what areas & what are the best/safest parts to go to ? ,thanks

... in response to Re: First Off...Forget this "Clock ..., posted by Zebson on Mar 22, 2001

Zebson,

Wait until you turn 44! And to think...I thought that 43 was good. ;o)

Dave H.