Thank you

[Gmen99]

[This message has been edited by Gmen99]

Thank you..
Serious question: How is a russian's sense of humour,compared to a americans,is there any difference between the two?

2)are they  affectionate or cold?

[TimInUkraine]

... in response to Thank you, posted by Gmen99 on Sep 21, 2004

Russians tend to have a more cynical sense of humor than Americans--not quite as sophisticated as the irony of the British, but in the same ball park. They like to laugh at the vast differences between how life is supposed to be and how it actually is. They also have a very self-deprecating aspect to their sense of humor, especially about the FSU mentality, but I don't suggest that foreigners join in with this type of joking. They are also fond of what they call "anecdotes" (the "a man walked into a bar..." type of joke). But for Russians (and Ukrainians), a sense of humor is very important, especially for men. I know some local Ukrainian men who are not particularly wealthy or good-looking but who are very funny; they have the girls eating out of their hands.

As to the second part of the question, I assume you are talking about women. I think FSU women are as affectionate as American women BUT in a different way. As with everything here, love/affection has a more practical aspect to it. I think they are affectionate but not in the sentimental way that American girls have learned from Hollywood. They see walking to the market to get the food to cook your favorite breakfast before you wake up as more of a sign of affection than, say, sitting all night in front of a fireplace, holding each other, reading Byron, and sharing souls.

For those of you yet to meet an FSU woman, the question becomes even more important. FSU women like to play the cat and mouse routine, and they will not, for the most part, demonstrate the same level of interest as their (equally interested) American counterpart, especially during a first meeting. I have lectured scores of guys over the years who write off a woman after the second date because she is not affectionate enough. The culture here teaches girls to play hard to get, and for foreigners this trait, coupled with the fact most guys don't know any Russian and are unable to read the signs (such as whether the girls dancing with their backs to you at a disco are the ones who like you--a common tactic--or are simply the ones who are dancing with their back to you because they don't care for you) makes for a very frustrating time.

I hope this helps
Tim

[Gmen99]

... in response to Re: Thank you, posted by TimInUkraine on Sep 22, 2004

Tim: Thank you Yes of course i ment to say rw,But i just assumed Readers would undertsand.The sense of humour aspect
seems Nice and Great but the second part hmmmm.
If thats the case,Then the whole hard to get aspect is somewhat Throwing me for a loop.The whole cat and mouse game is scary Cause if i wanted that i could find it here.
Yes,agreeded I would take it as a sign she doesnt like me
Not being loving enough.I guess they dont show "pda"
Public displays afection. Also most american guys whom i think at a club,dancehall,disco if saw a girl danceing would get right up on her(then again it could be different music where that wouldnt warrent that)of course with there backs turned.Then again music i varies 150% from our music and there music.which leads me to the next question
do "rw" like our music?

[TimInUkraine]

... in response to Re: Re: Thank you tim, posted by Gmen99 on Sep 22, 2004

I didn't mean to scare you off; I just wanted to warn you to be prepared. You have to be persistent. For most of these girls, the game playing is in the early courtship phase. They want to feel like you value them. Yes, in the big picture it can be counter-productive for them, especially in a provincial city like Kherson, where at a disco on the weeknights (when ladies get in for free) there may be 3 women for every guy. But Ukrainians (and Russians) are typically not very far sighted about things.

And, of course, I was giving the example of meeting a girl at a disco. If you are meeting a girl you have written to, or if your agency has done their job and arranged meetings based on a good chance of mutual attraction (rather than just filling up empty slots) then you are starting ahead of the game as it were. But, yes, PDA is not part of the character here. But it is something they can learn, especially if you establish early on that it is important to you.

I know many men who have married a girl from the FSU will argue that their wife is very affectionate. I can say the same thing about my wife, Natasha. But that is probably because the more naturally affectionate girls--or the ones who realize that this is an important characteristic for foreign (especially American) men--have the higher liklihood of becoming engaged and married. But even the affectionate ones who really like you won't "jump on your neck" (a Russian expression)in the early stages. If you're at a disco and some girl you just met is all over you, chances are you will be visiting the ATM machine before the night is through.

And it is not just something to do with foreigners. The local boys have to jump through the same hoops. The difference is, they are used to it and far more persistent and patient. I have sat cafes and literally watched for an hour as some guy plopped himself down at a table and spent an hour turning a "no" into a "yes" just for a date.

I live in Kherson and one of the things I do is teach at the local university, so I meet a broad cross section of girls. They always ask me why Americans come to Ukraine to find a wife, and in return, I always aske them why Ukrainian girls play hard to get. The most common answer is "but isn't it interesting?"

[Craigjjs]

... in response to Re: Re: Thank you tim, posted by Gmen99 on Sep 22, 2004

Hi Tim,

I have a pretty serious e-mail, telephone relationship with a woman in Kherson.  I would really like to ask a few questions privately.  My e-mail is craigjjs@nospam.com.  Thanks.

Craig

[TimInUkraine]

... in response to Tim can I send you an e-mail?, posted by Craigjjs on Sep 22, 2004

Craig,

I'd be happy to answer questions to the best of my ability, and I will send you my email privately

Anyone,

Can anyone tell me how to edit my profile? It's probably very easy

[Gmen99]

... in response to How to add my e-mail to my profile, posted by TimInUkraine on Sep 23, 2004

[This message has been edited by Gmen99]

Hey tim: Yes it is quite easy(like L richie said "easy like a sun morn")lol anyhow just go to edit my profile right side of the monitor :-)  and with that where your email section is Just type in your email addy! :-) and you should be all set(i think it may be called board e-mail) if im correct.Then again if im not correct,You may have to go and start a new
account! I hope that isnt the case.Thank you again