Joke

[Stephen]

The Veternarian

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection
plate.  This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.  "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that
you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.  

"Why yes", she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the church."  

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"  

The old lady said, "Oh, $20,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed..."Your son is very successful, what does he do for a living?"

"He's a veterinarian," she answered.  

"That is a very honorable profession", the pastor says. "Where does he practice?"  

The old lady says proudly...."Well, he has two cat houses in Las Vegas
and one in Reno".

[Ray]

... in response to Joke, posted by Stephen on Mar 16, 2004

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor.

The doctor said, "We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?"

"I'll take the lawyer's heart," said the patient.

After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did.

"It was easy," said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

[Humabdos]

... in response to Joke, posted by Stephen on Mar 16, 2004

Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go
into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in
a passionate
embrace.

Little Johnny found this so strange that he could barely contain himself as
he ran home and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy, Mommy, I was at the playground, and I saw Daddy's car go into the
woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look, and he was giving Aunt Jane a big
kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy
take his pants off, then Aunt  Jane......."

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want
to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.

Johnny started his story about the car going into the woods, the undressing,
Aunt Jane laying down on the back seat. Then, he continued,  Aunt Jane and
Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when
Daddy was in the Army."

Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt