I'm frustrated?

[Bear]

I wish the best for Lori and Jeff T and all the others who have requested visa months after me and are getting them.

But why?  What in Gods name could be the reason that a fiancee can come quicker that a spouse even 10 months after a new law is passed to speed it up?

I've filed two set of paperwork and made sure Honey has all hers either done or scheduled for next week.  All is in order and we sit her and wait and wait and wait.  Even worse, I know one guy who married his wife exactly 13 months before us and his wife and mine went to a party today in Davao, BECAUSE she's still waiting too!!!!

GGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Bear

[Ray]

... in response to I'm frustrated?, posted by Bear on Oct 13, 2001

I understand your frustration because I’ve been there. It does seem unfair that the fiancée visas are getting approved faster, but you knew what you were getting into when you started this thing.

At least we can be thankful that some of our legislators are aware of the problem and decided to fix it. It just didn’t come in time to help us, but at least the new guys getting married overseas will not have to wait as long as we did. I think the procedures that they finally decided on could have been done differently to speed things up, but once the bugs are worked out of the new system, the K-3 visas should take less than 3 months no matter which service center’s jurisdiction you live under. And the State Dept. has already advised the embassies to give priority to processing K-3s.

The waiting is hard but I think you did the right thing by getting married in the Phils. Now you have a happy wife because she had her dream wedding and I’m sure she appreciates your willingness to do it her way. There’s only one thing you screwed up Bear: if you would have gotten married one day sooner, you could have taken the extra tax deduction for this year (LOL). Hey, do you think the IRS would let you get away with claiming that you were married on Dec 31st because of the time zone difference? You could claim that it was still the year 2000 where you pay your taxes…Naw! Never fly.

I guess you have developed your own strategies for dealing with the separation and long wait. What worked for me was never dwelling on the negatives, but always looking at the positive side. Sure it’s frustrating dealing with the government bureaucracy, but don’t complain about it to your wife because there is nothing she can do about it. What I mean is, you can complain about it all you want, but don’t let her hear you complaining or it will only make her more lonely. Also, I wouldn’t complain too much about her family here on the Internet. I know they have done things that pissed you off, but I would keep it a private family issue as much as possible. I know you are also trying to help some of the new guys learn what to watch out for, but the damage you can do to long term family relations should be considered. Personally, I think an awful lot of the guys that get into trouble in this game are hopeless anyway. The ones that don’t use common sense and good judgement aren’t going to listen to you anyway. But that’s just my opinion.

Another thing that worked for us was always making each other laugh at least once a day. We always tried to keep the phone conversations and letters on a positive note and add a good dose of humor. I learned that a long time ago in the Navy as a way to make the long separations go by faster. It works for me.

Hang in there Bear. I think there’s an excellent chance that you and your new bride will be together here for your 1st anniversary. I sure hope so!

Ray

[Bear]

... in response to Hey Bear!, posted by Ray on Oct 14, 2001

Well actually things started working when I got the K-3 but then 2 weeks later WTC incident. It just amazes me that others on fiancee visas (including to countries we have been at war with) can get their visas before a married peerson.

Having the video/voice chat with the laptop I left her does help in ways that make me wonder how others survive without it.  Being able to see her and talk daily for 2-4 hrs is an increditable feat of technology.  I'd give everything I have to see her smile each day.  How bad could life be if she's happy?

As for trying to stay positive Honey doesn't allow me to get down or frustrated.  The moment she notices it she takes charge and gives me an "attitude adjustment".  I still am in shock at this woman's efforts.  I know we should not stereotype anyone but no AW ever made the efforts she does for me or anyone else I know - its like instinct with her.  Must be a Filipino thing cause you just won't find AW's doing it.

Last weekend I wrote every single one of Texas' Federal congressmen, Senate and Congress.  Not one has responded.  I'm sorry but I can't see how getting married there or here constitutes such radical time differences in procedures.  The only differrence is where we say "I do".  Are our preachers better than theirs or something?  5 Of my friends and acquaintenances have filed after me and gotten their wives here since I applied.  FIVE!  2 More look immenient!  I tried so hard to convince her to come here to marry but she didn't understand why waiting would be so hard - now she does.  So we made her family happy and we both suffer.  

I think the fact that my employment situation is so shakey is part of it.  The job I thought I had I didn't get?  I guess I'm another WTC victim.  The best job opportunities are out of state, except one, and I can't even think about moving in fear it might delay the wait even more.  Only 5 weeks left to my contract.  I have actually decided if I do not get that last opportunity job tomorrow I'll go to the R.P. at the end/termination of my contract.  If I do get the Job my vacation is screwed up.  I bought tickets to leave on the 14th of Dec (2 months from today!).  Who hires someone and gives them vacation 8 weeks later?  At Christmas time?!

I still have to feel sorry for Lily and James though.  They have had this problem 13 months longer than us.  Still he is in Hawaii and can take a military hop to see his wife every coupple of months.

Bear

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Hey Bear!, posted by Bear on Oct 14, 2001

Hey, that's one of my wife's favorite sayings "think positive", and if I complain about slow e-mail or something, she'll say "it's better than nothing". Maybe you're right that it's a Filipina instinct. My attitude about life in general has changed a lot since I met her. I guess it can’t help but rub off on you after a while.

If she gets her visa before December, are you still going to try to fly over? I didn’t realize that you can still get a military hop into the Philippines. I used to get hops into Clark Air Force Base years ago when there were regular MAC flights in and out of there. Maybe your friend is catching a hop out of Hawaii on one of the embassy milk runs. I think they used to fly through there on the way to Manila. They carried diplomatic mail and would usually take passengers if there was room.

Have you heard anything from the NVC? Is that where your I-130 is now? They took 12 weeks with mine last year after I returned all the forms to them. But once it got to Manila, everything moved real fast.

Ray

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: Hey Bear!, posted by Ray on Oct 14, 2001

Well one of my saying that I learned from my grandfather is "Why worry about it if you can't do anything about it?  It'll just make you sick."  But still when such things effect every corner of your life - how do you not worry?

So many things up in the air I don't know when I'll go there.  If I get the new job today I do not know when I'll get a chance to go.  Probably no vacation till June or later since I am a new guy.  If not and I lose my current job this morning I will go as soon as I can change my ticket to the next available seat.  Otherwise I'll go when my contract is up in 5 weeks.

I have heard nothing on the NVC for either the K-3 or the I-130 and I have been given no paperwork to file.  Its been 8 weeks for both.

Bear

[SteveG]

... in response to I'm frustrated?, posted by Bear on Oct 13, 2001

Bear,
 I know what you mean.   I sent the paperwork off for Melly's VISA expecting a 90 to 120 day wait but instead got a full year.   What's worse is that until the end, you have no idea just when the end is coming, so you wait day after day anticipating and wondering, right?
 
 Anyway, my question is about calling a cell phone in the Philippines from here.   Melly's sister is in Davao and recently got one and we want to be able to call her.  Do you call just like a normal phone?   I would think not since it seems like a city code wouldn't be associated with a mobile phone.   How about it?

                                    SteveG

[DavidT]

... in response to While you are frustrated, here's a quest..., posted by SteveG on Oct 13, 2001

Steve,
Had a similar problem a monthe ago, finally got it figured out, you dial the same way with one exception. Instead of dialing the city code, you dial 091. So it would be...011 63091-XXX-XXXX

Dave & Nenita T.

[jim in the pi]

... in response to While you are frustrated, here's a quest..., posted by SteveG on Oct 13, 2001

we call to winny our house keeper all the time from the us it 011-63-919-444-and the 4 last numbers. you dont need the
city code, drop the 0 on the cell phone's area code just the 011-63 and the 10 number that make up the number.
the 3 j's

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: While you are frustrated, here's a q..., posted by jim in the pi on Oct 14, 2001

qawtqwet

[kevin]

... in response to While you are frustrated, here's a quest..., posted by SteveG on Oct 13, 2001

For the most part, I'm ignorant about the nature of cell phones.  I do not own one, nor do I use one,  Buut, I was thinking of buying Analyn a cell-phone for Christmas.  But I learened something new.

Our good friend, Sally, who frequently posts here, told me about cell-phones.  If you buy a cell-phone, you must consistently feed it with a calling card.  If you don't, I guess, the chip in the cell-phone is programmed to destroy it.  Sounds ridiculous, but it's a way for manufactuers to continuously force you to buy their products.  You make a material investment in an asset like a cell-phone.  But if you don't readily pay the price to get the utility out of that asset, then that asset quickly becomes useless.

This is something I have to seriously think about before I buy a cell-phone for Analyn.  I don't know all that much about DVDs, as I do not own a DVD player or any DVDs.  But from what I can gather, as for relatively expensive DVD players, there werte regular DVD's (a permanent format for a movie worth buying), and DCDs (?, I forgot the initials).  Anyways, the latter was designed (laser encoded like a CD or a DVD)to be viewed, but only several times, and then such a disc would be a piece of junk.  I guess that was competition with the VHS rental industry.  Same rationale about spending roughly $100 to buy a cell phone, I guess.

Well. in the Philippines, it's worse how private profit-oriented entities exploit the consumr.  Hey, when I was in Nabunturan, there were sudden black-outs.  The reason:  manufactrers of crucial appliances such as refrigerators were behind this.  When the power would come back on, there would be a sudden electrical surge, tbat might damage such necessary appliances.  In turn, it would force the consumer to buy a replacement appliance.  Thus that was the means employed by the firms, allied with the government, to force consumers to continue to finance the same products that they became dependant on.

- Kevin

[Jay]

... in response to About cell phones . . ., posted by kevin on Oct 14, 2001

Hi Kevin,

ROTFL!

Who told you this nonsense about the 'ref" conspiracey in the Philippines??

Jay

[kevin]

... in response to Re: About cell phones . . ., posted by Jay on Oct 14, 2001

My ex-wife told me this long ago when I was visiting her in the Philippines and there were sudden night-time disruptions in power.  We'd be out on the porch.  Suddenly the electricity would go out and everything was dark.  Roughly five minutes later the power would come back on.

- Kevin

[Bear]

... in response to While you are frustrated, here's a quest..., posted by SteveG on Oct 13, 2001

I use the Telespeed card at this site.

www.phonecardsale.com

Buy 152 minutes and get 152 minutes for 17.95 [.1181/min](when you can get through).  No connection charges and no taxes which a lot of cards charge for and never say you are paying.

I also use AT&T with no problems when that Telespeed card does not work for $0.27/min.  When I do, I dial 011-63-xxx-xxx-xxxxx where the x's stand for the city code and phone number.  If there is a "0" in the city code, drop it when you dial (i.e. 082 becomes 82) If you dial direct without an internantional calling plan it could cost as much as $5/min so don't do it.

Bear

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: While you are frustrated, here's a q..., posted by Bear on Oct 13, 2001

Bear,
 Telespeed - that's the very same card we have used most.  I notice it has the feature of charging the same for calls to cell phones as to a regular phone too.   However sometines when Melly gets no connection there will be a deduction of a minute or two the next time she tries to call.   Weird, but more of an anoyance than a reason to change cards.  

  Yeah, I agree 110% on calling direct without any special  International discount plan with your long distance provider.   I've had some horrific charges from that very blunder myself and that's the resaon we have gone to the cards exclusively.

                               Thanks,
                                 SteveG

[Bear]

... in response to Re: Re: While you are frustrated, here's..., posted by SteveG on Oct 14, 2001

I get pretty frustrated with them sometimes.  The local number here in Houston rarely works and I have to dial the 800 number 5-10 times to get a connection sometimes.  Try doing that driving down the freeway on a cell phone.  But cost wise I have not found anyone cheaper or more honest in their dealings.  Even gotten a few free cards from them.

bear