New bill in congress

[Pete E]

... in response to He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

I'm sure some of the times I yelled at my wife would qualify as verbal abuse in the minds of feminatzi's  and other sympathisers
Some times its difficult to just keep a calm voice and smile.
For instance:
-The 50th time the cheching account got overdrawn by mama going wild with my wifes ATM card."Dear I guess you didn't understand this the last 49 times I explained it to you."
-Or when I dig some important business contact imformation out of the garbage,taken off the desk with the papers I told her many times not to TOUCH  because she could not tell the important ones from the others.
-Or the time I dug my shoes out of the garbage.
-Or talking on the phone to guys saying things like PAPI  and Mi amor.
-Or countless times when told blatant lies or  given     rediculous excuses.
Sometimes people DESERVE to get yelled at.It GETS THEIR ATTENTION AT LEAST.Politically incorrect I know.But it is counterproductive,with a Colombiana NO  behavior of theirs is  equal the to negative behavior of a spouse raising his voice.
She LOVED these  novelas where people were yelling all the time and doing all sorts of terrible things to each other.But not in my life por favor,regardless of how justified.
But she didn't have to rely on charges of spousal abuse.She just avoided telling the truth,actually vociferously denied it,untill enough time had passed she was a legal resident.The more patient approach.Works better if you got a guy who will put up with it even if he knows better.

Pete

[kented]

... in response to You guessed it, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

...I have found although I have dome my share of yelling.  I have learned never to yell, not at my children, not at my wife, not even at my dogs.  Smart people find other solutions.

You and I definately chose the wrong Colombians.  Having someone be unfaithful is horrible (I excaped that horror) but at some point you understand it is over and make other decisions.  At every point in the process, I had more and more time and money invested and I got zero return if I didn't "follow through and make this work".

Poker players call this sending good money after bad money...repeatedly raising on a hand you will probably lose because you've gotr so much in the pot already.  It took me three months of marriage to read the writing on the wall.  

You say it's not "politically correct" to yell at someone.   You were the one who faciliated her doing what she did to you and you chose to yell rather than pull the plug.  You can't blame this on feminazis (whatever that means).  Lying and infidelity are not principles of feminism.  My wife treated me like ca ca for three months and when I realized it wasn't going to get better, I made other plans.  

Most of us on this board have multiple divorces and a history of bad relationships.  I certainly do.  But I don't blame this on feminazis, just my own mistakes, poor judgement and inabiltiy to make good decisions.  Yelling at an unfaithful wife isn't abuse but it also isn't a good idea or anything you should be proud of. Truly resourseful people find more effective ways of dealing with their frustrations.

[wizard]

... in response to yelling is a poor choice..., posted by kented on Dec 14, 2004

And I guess it's your fault that your dog craps on the carpet, since you facilitated him by letting him in the house...

At some point in time people have to take responsibility for their actions instead of dumping a guilt trip on everyone else to cover their a** during times of their own indiscretion...

[Sam Club]

... in response to Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

Actually regarding the dog crapping - if you the owner haven't displayed the patience with teaching the "dog" not to crap on the carpet.....it is your fault!

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

I taught my dog not to crap on the carpet by beating his a** when he did... Based on your agenda, I have abused the dog... But guess what, he doesn't crap on the carpet anymore... Just how do you reason with a dog anyway...

This reminds me of unrestrained children in public... You know, the ones that are going crazy in public places while their parents tell them "No Sammy, don't do that"... What these children need is a swift slap on the a** to impress upon them the correct behaviour when in public...

I was raised during the time when corporal punishment was the norm, not the exception... Discipline, whether self-imposed or used as a remedial training tool is not a bad thing... This age of Political Correctness makes me want to puke...

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

Careful.  You run the risk of having Spam C report that to PETA.

[Heat]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

I taught my dog not to crap on the carpet by beating his a**""

God I hope you never have children. There is never a reason to hit a dog.
You always talk about beating up somebody.  I suggest you seek help.

[wizard]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Heat on Dec 14, 2004

I knew you would have to chime in Heat...

And just how do you teach a dog not to crap on the carpet??? Whisper sweet nothings in his ear, give him a treat and tell him he's a good boy??? Or rub his nose in it and smack his ass with a rolled up newspaper???

First lessons, never hit a dog with your hands, always use a rolled up newspaper... The newspaper becomes the article that disciplines the dog, not your hand... The next time they mis-behave, you just shake the newspaper at them and they understand... Use your hand and they are afraid of you forever...

Comprende???

[Heat]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor ch..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

I taught my dog not to crap on the carpet by beating his a**""""

This is what you said.  I see you are now backtracking.

Any idot knows this is wrong.  I suggest you read about dog training.  Only backward country hicks use newspaper to train a dog.  You've got issues.  God help your poor dog.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

They don't have an agenda.Or huge expectations.

Pete

[Sam Club]

... in response to Dogs are  teachable, posted by Pete E on Dec 14, 2004

What's wrong with having hugh expectations?

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Dogs are  teachable, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

I think people should think big.You have to be able to immagine something to create it.
BUT,if someone,like a good looking little chica,comes here
in a dishonest way,as in marrying  and promissing to love a guy she does not love,then somebody is being used.Fraud is the term I think.So huge expectations OK,good.But you have to do your part.EARN  and DESERVE your way.Not expect to defraud somebody to achieve them.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to yelling is a poor choice..., posted by kented on Dec 14, 2004

I agree yelling is a poor choice and I wish I hadn't done it.But people do get angry and yell sometimes with good reason and it is not the the same at all as physical abuse.I admit it could be carried to extreme where a person is constantly berated,there probably is something called verbal abuse.My reference to feminatzis and other sympathisers is to those who belive whatever the situation if you yell at the person it is verbal abuse.We had acounsoler that thought sort of like that.To yell isawfull,on the other hand itsOK and even normal sometimes for awoman not to like sex,and the guy is just supposed to accept that?Fuc-ing ditz.
Yes I should have handled it differently.I should have sent her back.
BUT,even with what I just said I don't think she was a blatant scammer and I loved her.I still do in a different way.She was not honest with me or even herself her family or her friends about the real situation.She married a man she did not love but thinking it would work,perhaps turn in to love or at least be an OK situation that was getting her what she wanted,the ability to live in the US.Even when I finally left she didn't want me to go,did not want to give up the guy who was talking care of her even though she refused attempts to try and make it a real marriage.Then I heard these stories third hand back from the Colombiana conection about thipoor woman whose husband left her.My friends who heard these stories and more are much less forgiving than me.There are some details they know I don't that I'm sure would really piss me off.
Guess I reacted a little to the idea that I do believe exists out there that if you raise your voice you are abusing someone.There are alot of subtle ways of abusing someone.I feel abused.I gave her everything I could and really loved her.She stayed ih a situation she didn't like then complained about it to her friends,bad mouthing me.
I would like to think if I had a more  blatant scammer like you I would have got rid of her fast.But with my ex I knew better but just didn't do it.

Pete

[kented]

... in response to Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Pete E on Dec 14, 2004

Yelling is definately NOT physical abuse and desperate Colombians have tried to make it so in both of our cases.  This is not an acident but a planned strategy by ladies trying to stay here without the help of the man who brought them here.  

You descrition of your wife is almost exactly like mine.  Not an outright scammer, not honest with me or even herself, and she didn't like sex.  

She moved into a separate bedroom and never negotiated anything in good faith. Everything had to be her way and when we compromised, she would repeatedly not do what she had promised to do.   I probably fell out of love with my wife quicker than you did and then the divorce was the obvious next step.