Why do we go to LA?

[kented]

It was suggested below that a Latina is taught by her culture that the man is the head of the family.  A man is "clearly in charge", "the chairman of the board".  

I am curious how those of you with reltionships have found and those of you looking for relationships hope to find.  

I went to LA because I was able to date and be romatic with women who were younger, prettier and sweeter by far than those I could date in the US.  

I have a gorgeous young wife whose inner beauty exceeds her considerable external beauty.  However much she loves me, she doesn't consider me the chairman of the board and I don't give her orders.

How about the rest of you?  Are you the boss in a patriarical household or is that what you are looking for?  I would personally guess that Latin women are used to being treated badly and they like gringos who are considerate and treat them well.  Perhaps other geographic regions would be a better source of subsurvience than Latin America because Latinas are feisty.

How do the rest of you feel?

[valleydude]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

For me, I had always been a bad boy in my teens and twenties. It's true too, I had girls crawling all over me.
Then one day, I knew life wasn't right. I knew I was an irresponsible clown doing nothing but chasing girls and never holding a job.

I started re-arranging my priorities and went back to school. I also realized that all I needed was one good woman in my life and just wanted a basic trusting, loyal relationship. My friend was going to Cebu and always defending his reasoning. I never argued it and didn't care to much about it either, but one day he showed me his brochures (before the internet was big) and I saw a LLM one. In the process I became ready to settle down, but never let go of the idea and had an attraction for latin women. I remembered a time about 15 years ago, I was in Mexico and a girl showered me with affection. Though I didn't care at the time; looking back, it made me feel real good, and it was different. With this thought, I often thought it would be nice to share cultures, so I began to do this.

That's it in a nutshell

V-Dude

[kented]

... in response to Re: Why do we go to LA?, posted by valleydude on Dec 12, 2004

...

[Jeff S]

... in response to when is cebu..., posted by kented on Dec 14, 2004

Yesterday, today and tomorrow....

Just kidding.

It's the 2nd largest city in the Philippines.

- Jeff

[mudd]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

Little story. I had a Texas hold-em poker party at my house with about 20 good friends abut three weeks ago, mixed company, friends and wives of friends, girlfriends of friends ect. One of my friends, James who is ironic enough, a border patrol officer in California. His girlfriend who is nice, but very...... shall we say opinionated, a little self centered, and also 39, never married, no children and I can see why being around her. No man would want to marry a girl like this and be stuck with her for the rest of his life. Anyways, she wanted to bring a girlfriend to the party for me to meet. She asked what I was looking for, my reply, nice, not complicated, selfish or stuck up, cute. Not too much to ask. She arrived and she was cute, tall, a little stuck on herself but overall nice. I really didn’t have much time to talk to her being was cooking, making sure everybody had a drink, and of course, losing my money. I never asked my friend’s girlfriend what she thought about me, but my friend told me that she said and I quote " his house is too small, he didn’t show me enough attention at the party, he doesn’t make enough money for me.
Im not rich, but well off compared to most of my friends, but I wasn’t surprised by her comments. She is also 39, never married. THIS is why I look at other countries for a better wife. The women here are a joke. even my sister hates the women here.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Why do we go to LA?, posted by mudd on Dec 10, 2004

You sure got that right. I was married to an AW and now I am married to a Colombiana. No comparison! Any guy that doesn't go to Colombia for a wife needs his head examined for having a masochist complex. Who needs it? They think their asses are made of gold and they're doing you a favor by even letting you look at them. Now I laugh when I see these AW and think to myself, "What losers! I got way better than you at home!"

[kented]

... in response to Re: Why do we go to LA?, posted by mudd on Dec 10, 2004

Awhile back someone of this board mentioned Lausa Slessinger's book, "The Care and Feeding of a Husband".  It was 200 pages of anctedotes of women being taken care of, treated well and complaining about their lives.

Many AW want to get far more than they expect to give and who wants to deal with that.  My wife is very uncomplicated.  All she wants is love, respect, a roof, food and to go on a weekly outing with me and her daughters.  

I agree with you.  I went to LA because I found a lot of very average women to go out with me who had extremely complicated demands on a relationship.

[Brazilophile]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

Excellent Question!

I went to LA because I found that on vacation trips there, the women semed to appreciate my personal qualities much more than AW do.  The Brasiliera I am now involved with expects me to be the leader of our family.  That was a non-issue.  

The EXTREMELY important issue for her was what TYPE OF LEADER I would be.  She asked me several pointed questions about how I planned to exert my influence over her and our future children.  One specific question was whether I was an "autocratic" or a "democratic" leader.  I had to explain my leadership philosophy to her.  As I had previously developed such a philosophy during prior trips and relationships, it was not difficult for me to respond to her.  

As one of my traits is that of being quite cost conscious, another specific question was how I intended to plan family spending and how I would react to her buying something I didn't approve of.  I explained that WE would plan a budget together based on what the family needs are, what our savings target was, what our expected earnings are, what the cost of things are.  However, I would enforce our budget and make changes to our budget as changes in our situation warranted.  I would explain to her why I felt that the budget needed to be changed or why I felt a particular expenditure was not within the budget.  

I further explained that if an out-of-budget item was not expensive, I would not make a big deal out of it.  I would just remind her that we make a budget and stick to it in order to avoid future financial difficulties.  If it was a major expensive thing, then I would be very angry and the marriage itself might be put into jeopardy.  I have seen a lot of people, both men and women, who spend money on gambling, drinking, clothes, jewelry, cars, ahead of spending in children's needs.  I will not tolerate my wife spending in such a manner.

This discussion was in depth in context but not very long in time.  She was very content with my "I lead with the advice and consent of my wife" philosophy.  The subject has not been brought up since.  That was 4 months ago.

[david hagar]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

I Agree with  you

Beattledog

[Troy]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

When there's a need for a bigtime final decision, and it's absolutely necessary, I make it.  I will always do that.  Any thing beneath that if up for debate between us.  My wife and I suscribe to the notion that anything we do must be in the best interest of the family, not the individual (now try finding an American woman who'll do that with ya)

[Heat]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

Good post.  Bottom line.  Their culture is one where the man is in charge.  Soooooo You better be in charge or she will not know how to interact with you.  Not mean, but in charge.

[Dolfi]

... in response to Re: Why do we go to LA?, posted by Heat on Dec 10, 2004

Hmmm...don´t know. My friend told me she is looking for a gringo because colombian men don´t want an independent and selfconfident woman for a partner....

[soltero]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

Because we want wives, not shorter husbands with longer hair and eventual menopause.

[thunderbolt]

... in response to Why do we go to LA?, posted by kented on Dec 9, 2004

I have dated Latinas here, and based on my experience I can say that they are definitely not subservient.  A Latin woman will never automatically assume you are 'the boss' and follow your commands without any objection.  What they do expect is a strong-willed man, someone who can take charge and be a leader.  A Latin woman if she has interest in you will typically challenge you to test if you are such a man, and she will resent you (and most likely leave you) if you don't stick up for yourself and do not take charge of the relationship.  Having said that, they do expect to be respected and their opinion to be valued, and definitely not abused verbally or physically.

[Brassa]

... in response to Re: Why do we go to LA?, posted by thunderbolt on Dec 9, 2004

Its not exclusive to Latin women to test men...All women do that. The reason so many guys go to LA is they fail those tests with American women. At some point one has to look in the mirror. Some guys feel latin women are different and will accept wuss behavior. Yes some will if the tolerance for doing so means a much needed green card. Pass your tests AND expect women (American, Latin, Russian, Polish) to pass yours also.

Its why some women stick with bad boys. The prime reason Some women would actually prefer putting up with the abuse and dominant behavior is its more tolerable than to be stuck with a wuss. You think i am kidding but i`m serious. Women are more appalled by a wuss than a bad boy. Its why ALL women test men.

Women like nice guys, You can be a nice guy, But dont be a wuss. Women expect and prefer and are attracted to take charge men. You dont have to be abusive to be that way. But be that way!
Bottom line, All women test men.Not just latin women, So if your failing tests, Take a look in the mirror and dont expect Latin women to be any different there.