A question for Fuzzyone-Chuck

[jediknight]

I was hoping you could give me some insight on your trip to the coast. I read your post "barranquilla II" and was curious about your experience since I seem to be on a similar path. I'll be flying to down to barranquilla in jan to meet a young woman who I met through amigos.com, she has offered and I've accepted to stay with her at her house with her family. I was hoping that you could elaborate more on your comments that:

"We went to my girls son's school, his teacher was nice looking
and ask my girl how she could find a gringo. I started to hear
this alot... therre is alot of woman down there that either already
found a gringo to marry or is looking for one. I heard over and
over again they wanted to marry a gringo because the men down
there do not come home at night to the wifes."

also, how was your experience staying at your girlfriends house the first time? how long did you stay? did you pay for food or expenses? did they refuse to accept your money if you did offer? anything that stands out that I might need to know?
thanks

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to A question for Fuzzyone-Chuck, posted by jediknight on Nov 16, 2004

I have made three trips to Barranquilla for a todal of about 11 weeks. Most
of that time was spent at my wife's house so I did get to see alot of what went
on around the neighborhood. I think what I liked the most was being to find
out what the woman in the area were thinking in a way it was a little funny. I
met my step son's english teacher she would not speak any english to me. In
fact I did not know she was a english teacher until she left and my wife told
me. My wife her two sisters told me the same thing alot of the woman were
looking for a gringo to marry. If you gave the woman there a choice they
would stay in Colombia and have you move there. I ask my wife and several
woman the same question why they wanted a gringo for a husband and they
all said about the same thing. They heard that a gringo would treat them
better. When I first met my wife she told me she wanted a home... I thought
at first she was just looking for a gringo to buy her a house but she told me
no she wanted a home where she would me loved in. I was impressed...

 Anyway my wife never asked me for any money when I came the first time. I
was very glad I lived in their home the first time I was there the family took
very good care of me. Every moring the girlfriend at this time would come to
my room and give me a kiss and say good morning honey. I figuired out
about how much money I would have spent for a hotel room and I gave about
half of that to my girl's mother for letting me stay there. Her mother was very
happy I think I gained a mother in law that day. I also bought food several
times while I was there. I took the entire family out to eat several times which
was very cheap. The one thing that really opened my eyes up when I said
there was everyone around us had no money and did what ever they had to to
survive. I saw alot of drugs being used by people around the neighborhood,
which helped fuel the crime rate of muggings and robberies that happened
every once in a while.

Things are alot different then anything I ever experienced here. Everyone
there wants to meet you the friends of hers her neighbors her family believe
me you will be a celebrity in that neighborhood when you get there. But be
carful you also will be a target for anyone that is looking for money if you go
out only take the amount of money you think you will need for that day. If
someone tries to rob you just hand the money over and say to hell with it
because they do not care they will kill you with no thought at all. I bought
presents for the family when I went there... I went to bed and bath and
bought creams for everyone. I think they loved them. Make sure you keep
your eye on the prize your girl and not some other woman because it is very
easy to let your mind wander and think you found something better. If you do
not believe there has been several other men here that make trips all the time
there and just cannot be happy with what they found for a woman.

 I wish you luck there if you keep your wits you will enjoy yourself and let
your woman take care of you believe me she will bend over backwards for
you. If you do get pissed about something don't say nothing right away wait
until you are alone to ask her what happened because I found out sometimes
things don't appear as they really are and misunderstandings really suck
when it is your fault. One last thing if you go to change money to pesos keep
a watch around you if anyone is using a cell phone or if there is a scooter or
motorcycle around don't stick around... they watch for people getting a large
amount of money and will mug you to get it.

 Good luck with your trrip I know you will enjoy yourself, bring long pants,
teee shirts. The locals wear long pants always when they go out if you wear
shorts then you will stand out you want to blend in with the locals....

Fuzzyone

[kented]

... in response to Re: A question for Fuzzyone-Chuck, posted by Fuzzyone on Nov 18, 2004

Great post especially the part about never getting mad.  I have learned that getting mad is the thing my wife hates the most.  Latins are very calm and accept life and other people much more easily than we do.

The part about crime and not wearing shorts is also true in Costa Rica.  

Good luck.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: A question for Fuzzyone-Chuck, posted by kented on Nov 18, 2004

Meant to say as well that you are always learning about your woman, her culture and her family.
20 trips now to Colombia in every major city, and i still am only just beginning to learn about how they live .

KB

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: A question for Fuzzyone-Chuck, posted by kented on Nov 18, 2004

Agreed

My wife hates "GRITA"

Better to just leave the house and go to the gym or something , then to take out your anger in the home.

LESSONS LEARNED

KB

[jediknight]

... in response to Re: A question for Fuzzyone-Chuck, posted by Fuzzyone on Nov 18, 2004

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

thanks for the response, I was very interested in the part where you mentioned that the women are looking for a gringo, especially the school teacher because the woman I'm in touch with is a teacher also. It's difficult to know without generalizing whether their desires for a gringo are for a meal ticket and pass over her or whether they just want a better man. your statement..

"My wife her two sisters told me the same thing alot of the woman were looking for a gringo to marry. If you gave the woman there a choice they would stay in Colombia and have you move there. I ask my wife and several woman the same question why they wanted a gringo for a husband and they
all said about the same thing. They heard that a gringo would treat them better."

...makes me feel better although I will be on the watch for any red flags but if the woman I'm in touch with is the same in person as she has been over the phone and emails then I doubt she's looking for a meal ticket. I also get the feeling that she would rather stay over there, she has a large family and is very close to them, not that she wouldn't mind coming over here but I don't see this as reason number one for her interest in me, she and her family have stated that she hasn't been treated well by the men over there, so we'll see.

about the local attire, did you wear jeans or slacks and how about sneakers or shoes, dress shirts, polo, tee shirts. did you wear a watch? how about cell phones? also, I don't remember if I read or if you mentioned but what is the age difference between you and your wife and how long before you began writing to her did you propose and get married.
thanks

jediknight

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to another question for you, posted by jediknight on Nov 18, 2004

I use to have doubts when guys would post here stating their wifes and
girlfriends would tell them that Colombian men would treat them like
garbage. When I was there I got to see first hand not all men treated their
wifes down there bad but I got to see alot of men that let their wifes work
while they stayed home claiming they were looking for a job but for some
reason they just never found one for years.

 My wife never asked me for money while I wrote her. talked to her on the
phone and on the computer. We talked about 8 months before I came to visit
her, we had some rocky times life is not always easy but when I came to visit
her the first time I was surprised because she was better then anything I ever
dreamed about. I spent about 3 weeks with her and before I left I asked her to
marry me which she accepted. Her mother thought we were crazy and we
would never get married but in the end she was very happy to see her
daughter married. I am 44 she is 32, I could have gone younger but I did not
because I think I truely found the woman of my dreams

 They dressed pretty relaxed down there blue jeans, tee shirts. I would bring
a couple of nice outffits but plan on wearing jeans alot. You can wear your
watch as long as it don't cost too much. I did not bother with a cell phone did
not need it. My wife was married before and her husband treated her like
crap. He got her pregant and then decided he did not want to be married so
he left her to go around the neighorhood spreading his seed with every
woman he could get his hands on. I think you will have a good time down
there I did, just keep your wits about you and you will be fine.