... in response to Re: WINGMAN, posted by Kiltboy1 on Oct 31, 2004[This message has been edited by Cali James]
Hey Andy,
This past 6 months or so you did a pretty good job of convincing me that your wife was using you to get to the United States. Do an archive search on Kiltboy and re-read everything you wrote last April.
I still remember how she more or less tricked you into reconciling after your separation. She was living in Cali at the time of reconciliation. After you brought her back again to the States with you, she didn't waste time and dumped you within a matter of 2 or 3 weeks. She clearly was using you for a plane ticket and you said she started receiving all these calls from the time she arrived off the plane.
I remember you saying that in one sentence she said more or less "I love you but by the way you'll need to get a lawyer". The lawyer was needed because she was about to call the police and accuse you of abuse, which she did I might add. So your wife falsely accused of a serious crime and got you kicked out of your own house. The abuse claim is a known ploy for those who want to get their conditional status removed but want to be rid of their husband. I'm sure the Colombian underground that you spoke of so many times is aware of this. So in the midst of all this your wife took off to New York I believe. When the court date came, your wife did not travel back (flaked out) and you were off the hook. However as a result of this, your wife's green card status was now seriously in jeopardy because you were now separated and she didn't follow through on the false abuse claim.
At first you're thrilled to be rid of her, all the mess that you were in with her was wiped clean. You get back on the saddle again and nothing like returning to Cali to start over. But starting over is a long process, with ups and downs for sure. Maybe you experienced these. Then after 4 or 5 months apart, I believe your wife made an overture to you and you accepted. You flew out to New York and she convinced you that she's a changed woman and really loves you. You see that she's making good money as a waitress, so you believe she's not coming back for love of your money (she has money) but for love of you.
I think that's where we are today. I really hope that she has changed and admire you for trying to make things work at all costs. I want to believe it Andy but I still remember your previous posts. You described your wife as a "great actress" and someone who could fool you easily by turning on the affection and charm. Some people might be saying why would she turn on the charm now, there's no reason to. But that's actually not true. You and I had our embassy appointments on the same day in Bogota back in December of 2002. My wife as of today comes up on 90 days before her 2nd year anniversary. Your wife is in exact same situation, plus or minus a week or two. On Feb 5, 2005 my wife looses her green card (unless we apply for removal of conditions) and becomes an illegal alien. I plan on filing for her soon of course but in your wife's case, absent you, she would have to file without your support and possibly with her false abuse claims should you make this information available to the immigration agency. I think that absent this latest reconciliation, your wife is very likely an illegal alien in February of 2005. How bout that for motive?
Anyway I truly hope I'm wrong but my experience is that people rarely change their stripes. Occasionally it will happen if something dramatic happens in that person's life, like the death of someone close or hitting rock bottom if they were an alcoholic. But in your wife's case, you say she was living well, making good money, living among other Colombians. I hope the dramatic change isn't related to her visa expiring in February. Please be carefull and understand that I'm saying this not to be a jerk but rather because I'd hate for you to get screwed again.
Take care, James
