A comment by a poster here really irked me

[Heat]

... in response to I am married and disagree, posted by lswote on Sep 16, 2004

well it was a very big baby and her body suffered for it and isn't what it was before the baby and she isn't as physically appealing to me anymore and sex has suffered considerably."""

My Amigo,

Every time I hear this coming from a guy it's followed by divorce.  I hope you get help before it's too late.
Good luck.

[kented]

... in response to Cry for help!, posted by Heat on Sep 16, 2004

Heat, since you already have anounnced that you are a sex god, it is natural that you insist on perpetual perfection from someone lucky enough to share our company.

The rest of us normal people cannot demand perfection from our mates.  I hope they each work to revive the romantic side of their marriage because that can sustain a relationship but it isn't the only thing.

[lswote]

... in response to Cry for help!, posted by Heat on Sep 16, 2004

Okay, I'll bite.  If that was a cry for help, then what am I suppose to do Dr. Freud?  Should I rush her off to the gym and plastic surgeon, get a mistress or watch porn when we have sex?

Oh I have an idea.  How about I accept that people's bodies change and remember that I married a person not a body?

[Heat]

... in response to Re: Cry for help!, posted by lswote on Sep 16, 2004

well it was a very big baby and her body suffered for it and isn't what it was before the baby and she isn't as physically appealing to me anymore and sex has suffered considerably.""""""

Re read what you wrote.  You are in deep trouble if you do not find her sexy.  If she is way overweight you are going to have health problems as well as no sex.

You had better do something.  Without sex you might as well be married to your brother.  What the hell did you get married for if not to enjoy sex?  Why have a wife?

If you want to live in a dream world and tell yourself sex does not matter then go ahead and dream.

But this will eat at both of you.

[lswote]

... in response to sex has suffered considerably?, posted by Heat on Sep 16, 2004

I have never been very good at engaging in honest discussions without being pretty frank about my viewpoints and the circumstances that help make up my viewpoints.  But the downside of being so frank is that it leaves you vulnerable to people that like to take easy jabs at the revealing things that your present to make your case.  And while I don’t really care about taking hits for revealing things about myself, I am much more uncomfortable about revealing personal information about others.  In this case I am very uncomfortable saying much more about my wife.  I revealed a few details about my wife with the hopes it would illustrate the point that the glue for a marriage is love, not sex, but now I am caught up in an argument that can only be continued if I am willing to reveal more particulars about my wife and our relationship, and frankly I am unwilling to say anymore more about the matter other than to say that my wife is not overweight as you suggested. My wife was very diligent in dieting after the baby was born, but there are other things that happen when a woman has a big baby besides gaining weight and they are not cured as easily as going on a diet.

I am not trying to suggest that sex isn’t important to a marriage, but it isn’t the one crucial thing to a marriage, the glue as we are calling it.  I am just saying that the most crucial thing is love, not sex.

[Heat]

... in response to I have to end this discussion, posted by lswote on Sep 17, 2004

I hope it all works out for you.  I'm just saying without sex.... marrage is pointless.

[kented]

... in response to I have to end this discussion, posted by lswote on Sep 17, 2004

Iswote,

You found a woman who is worthy of your complete love.  The "Great sex" of the honeymoon period, perhaps the first six months, gets routine and unless there is love, there isn't anything.  

Some of us are looking for a woman we can love completely and want to share our lives with.  Some other men have failed relationships due to their own selfishness and they will never be happy because of unrealistic expectations.  

Thanks for your post.  I talked about a very common situation and showed a great deal of sensitivity and love for your wife.

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: Cry for help!, posted by lswote on Sep 16, 2004

I think you should belittle her until she feels like a very small person
because she does not turn you on... Shame on her for having your child and
letting herself go like that........   Gag Gag sorry I had a hair ball in my
throat..... anyway I would not worry when you have a child alot of time in the
beginning you are really not that ready to have sex right away.. believe she I
bet feels the same right now after having a baby...

[Pete E]

... in response to I am married and disagree, posted by lswote on Sep 16, 2004

Bruce,
A good attitude.I'm glads its working so well for you.But don't let her know she is a little sub standard to you now while at the same time encouraging her to get back in shape when she feels better.AND ,we talked about this before,its also important how we look.I know you have sruggled with this also.

Pete

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: I am married and disagree, posted by Pete E on Sep 16, 2004

Pete

Reminds me of a guy who lives in our apartments.  He's married to a Latina.  She's still cute, but she's had about 4 kids and she's overweight now.  But he's still with her.  He asked my wife to marry him the first time he saw her, but he's still with her.  True story.

Steve