I was asked why I thought that marrying a foreign woman that lived thousands of miles away from me was easier than marrying an American woman (with no fault applied to American women). Here's my answer...
I found that marrying a latina (foreign born) was a straightforward process, particularly since the distance between us prevented much of the frivolous dating rituals, mind games, and posturing men and women do in America. In other words, marrying my wife was simple because the INTENT of marriage was clear and evident on both our parts, and everything we did after we first interacted was a means to accomplish our marriage goal.
I find this mindset to be completely the opposite in America, and its not totally the American woman's fault. Here are the problems:
1) In America, the old-fashioned INTENT on finding a wife/husband is not politically correct. These days, INTENT is equated with being CLINGY, which means you're weak and socially retarded. Likewise, very few men or women seeks marriage in their late teens or throughout their 20's, as these are the years of drinking, partying, wild sex, and breaking hearts. The media reinforces this everyday (beer commercials, music, sitcoms, movies, etc), and it's also reflected on our college campuses.
Foreign women don't have this burden because there societies usually are not similar to the American society. Their society has not devalued marriage as ours has. In fact, most foreign women make it clear that the INTENT of marriage is present from the get-go.
2) With American women, there's much more emphasis on the actual date. And since the woman in generally the pursued instead of the pursuer, the man must 'perform' to get a date (being smooth, mastering opening lines, etc), and then perform again to secure a successful first date (dressing up, being charming/funny, taking her to the right location). And then, he has to perform again to secure a second date (waiting 3 days before you call her, choosing a setting that's not too romantic, yet is not too bland). And then, the American woman is obliged to stall the process so that she will not appear to be an easy target for casual sex ("I want to be friends first"), so there's more waiting. Then there's fumbling with her work schedule and your schedule, along with hers and yours social calendar, which causes even more waiting. And if all that waiting doesn't piss someone off (usually the guy), there's the fact that other people can come in out of the dating picture for both the man and the woman. And all of this is just the beginning! You still have to work your way up to dating not as a friend, but as a boyfriend, which doesn't necessarily mean you're serious, just a boyfriend. The problem with this is that any thing short of this process for the woman means she's clingy, or she's vulnerable to an insincere man who only wants sex (remember that old self-help book "The Rules" where women were advised to intentionally delay the courtship process?). And the man has performed so much to get to where he is, and yet with no real results, he becomes bitter. He's wasted time, money, and energy/effort, and has neither a relationship partner, nor a sex partner. This one of the common problems in the American dating scene; the woman stalls the process, and the man wants to rush it.
With foreign women, it's very simple...they live too damn far away to date!! That is the greatest thing we have going for us. They're too far away. So all the dating baloney doesn’t apply, which cleans up the majority of the mess men and women cause in the courtship process. When you do see them, they know that its serious business because you're traveling so far to get to them. So the time you spend with them is of the essence; they understand that, and so do you.
3) I blame Don Johnson. Miami Vice back, the fitness craze of the 1980's, Chippendales, and music videos brought male attractiveness to the permanent mindset of America. The 'Don Johnson' look made it clear that men had to pay attention to their attire and their face, the fitness fad of the 1980's cause men to pay attention to their bodies, music videos made men pay attention to their style and charm, and Chippendales made all men sex objects. Men had to adhere to similar physical appearance demands of women if they were to be successful in the dating scene. No longer was a thinning hairline, love handles, and a lack of fashion sense tolerable. The pretty boys took their place in the minds and hearts of the pretty American women, while the average joes were relegated to the left overs.
For foreign women, the pretty boys in their country often left the women broken hearted. But the one thing that foreign women have that American women don't is the prospect of betting pickings. Universally, American men are thought to make the best husbands. So foreign women have an alternative...they don't have to deal with unfaithful men in their countries. They can ignore those pretty boys and choose a more stable American male, particularly since American men find them so alluring. American women cannot truly aspire to leave America for a better grade of male. What country can top us in that regard?
4) It’s not so much that American women are anti-marriage, it's just that our American culture hasn't treated male/female courtship as a straightforward means to marriage since before the 1960's. In the old days, women only aspired to become wives (financial reasons, society demands), so the process was cut and dry. In today's American society, women don't have to aspire for this (no fault to the woman), so the process is no longer set in stone. Try to even use that word "courtship" and see if you don't get laughed out of the bar you're picking up the lady in. To make it worst, men and women in their 20's are taught that it's much more hip and cool to be out screwing, partying, and having as many casual flings as possible. It's almost a rite of passage for anyone in their 20's (thanks to the 'free love' movement of the 1960's and '70s). The problem is, most people (both men and women) don't know how to abandon this mentality. So it becomes fashionable in your late 20's and early 30's to say you're NOT looking for a relationship, even though you truly are. And by then, in your early 30's, you're so set in your ways because you've been on your own for so long, that you become unduly demanding of any potential partner. Or, the frustration of the entire thing just makes you hard and bitter, which is reflected when you interact with the opposite sex.
With foreign women, there's no real emphasis on women entering the work force, so the traditional role of wife and mother is still intact, which means younger women focus on finding a partner rather than moving up the corporate ladder. This is important because people always wonder why some old fart of a man can score a young, pretty foreign wife. The usual answer is due to the older guy having money, a home, and a good job. Well, I disagree. The reason why we older guys (I'm 37, my wife's 28) can score with younger, pretty, foreign women is very simply because younger foreign women SEEK husbands, while American younger women don't (see above). More younger women are available in foreign countries for marriage, and we old men naturally desire young pretty women. It's a numbers thing. America has young pretty things too, it's just that they're into partying and casual dating. Foreign young pretty things aren't. It's just that simple. Also, most younger, American guys are not competition for us older guys in the foreign bride world quite frankly because THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT OR NEED IT. They are involved in the dating scene with women their own age, and they're afflicted with the 'no-marriage for me' mindset like those women. So they don't flock to Colombia to find young pretty things. I honestly think that if more younger men (early, mid 20's) knew about and took advantage of the foreign bride market, us older guys would lose our edge. Think about it. Did you know about Cherry Blossoms, or Colombian dating agencies when you were 21? Would you have cared? I sure as heck didn't/wouldn't. I was getting 21 year old hot women on a normal basis, so who cares about spending thousands to meet and marry some foreigner.
Well, I'll stop there. I hope this makes sense to you. It's the best explanation for why I find marrying a foreign woman was easier than marrying an American woman.
