Surprise visit to my woman (long)

[Killi]

Did a long, grueling expensive, but fun, weekend trip to see my woman.  arrived at 4:45, took a cab to her house, parents said she was in school.

hmmm, she does not have school at night... what the hell?!?!?  so i went down to her school, and it turned out i got there right as it got out, about 5 minutes after.  she was at a school computer, on MSN...wondering where i was, as i wasnt online at our normal chat time for the computer.  was about 6pm now Colo time.  i chatted with her friends outside, they recognized me, and after they left i just watched her a minute or two...just seeing what she would do, i mean, i am a guy and i get curious on things like that.  she was writing me an email and sent me a card hoping i was ok

she came outside to go to the bus, looking all worried and kinda looking down. I coughed....then she saw me and started crying, and she was trembling.

i felt like a king.

so here is the scoop.  i send her some bucks Western Union a couple months back to take english classes.  she paid the tuition with it, and now... she is going to a voluntary evening english class at her language school for advanced reinforcement.  she goes 6 days a week 4 hours a day already in mornings, and is voluntarily going back for evenings.  wow.

i got home late monday and filed the K1 Tuesday. CSC received it today. ill see her again a few times before the year gets out, and hopefully have her home by her birthday in February.

and as an update,... i got pretty beat up here before about the pregnancy post I made. I lied and posted it was false, because of the backlash... well she was pregnant, and she got it taken care of.  she had an injection... then after 3 days of no forced miscarriage, had the old fashioned tweezers. she still has not asked me for money from the procedure... and i know it was not free.  and i am sure we all know a baby woulda been a pretty damn sure free ride to the USA... and she is anti abortion. she told me that she will pray for forgiveness and hope God realizes it was a baby made of love, but the time was wrong.  and she wanted to develop a life with me based on being together, not being parents.  cant argue with her so far.

she has a bank card of mine down there that has a sufficeiently positive balance on it, and she still has not used it other than the one time to take out money for a second language school payment.  her parents report to me when i call, of their own volition, how she is doing.

I am happy, she is happy, we miss each other, and i am confident i got lucky.  

i am 27, she is 28, with no kids, lives with parents in the same house she has lived in since she was born.  we talk about 45 minutes a day on phone,a bout 2 on the MSN messenger.  she walks to an internet cafe and sits there until her self imposed allowance for the day runs out, and wont ask me for money to stay longer, wont even accept it actually.  She told me that if she takes money from me, it will be taken from the money that i would use to visit her again, and she wont hear of it.  Seeems she had a job for about 7 months last year, and is working off of what she had saved.

Now someone wish me luck!  haha.  

oh i originally met her many months back thru Int Intro, jamie's site i think. just paid for a few emails, and got replies, and bascally found hers to have something..more.

Good luck to the rest of you, so far im still on that cloud.

Oops gotta got, its almost 4 (6 Colo time) and she just logged on.

PEACE

[gregas]

... in response to Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by Killi on Aug 12, 2004

reading that your Woman had an Abortion. Do you know for a fact that the child was Yours?? Anyway, I would never marry a woman who kill our unborn child. Personally, I feel  her love and respect for you is questionable, troubling, puzzling.  

[wizard]

... in response to Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by Killi on Aug 12, 2004

[This message has been edited by wizard]

Your first mistake was not using protection during pre-marital sex... Granted, all of us have probably been there, done that, but it appears you may have been bitten this time... Or maybe not...

Your second mistake was broadcasting your situation here... Even through you've only been posting here a short time, you've had first hand experience in just how some of our more "vocal" posters jump at the smell of blood in the water... Give some of them an inch, and they'll try to rip you apart... Kudos on how you handled the latest series of attacks...

In the last few weeks we've hit just about all the taboo subjects on PL... Religion, politics, abortion, racism, etc ad-nausium... Have we missed any??? Perhaps the next series of threads should be on alien abductions and crop circles...

[Killi]

... in response to First mistake..., posted by wizard on Aug 13, 2004

i agree.  good post.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to First mistake..., posted by wizard on Aug 13, 2004

Well said, Wizard.

Steve

[david hagar]

... in response to Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by Killi on Aug 12, 2004

This is one thing that you should have kept private to yourself and your lady.  I even agree with Heat, this time.  

Beattledog

[Killi]

... in response to Re: Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by david hagar on Aug 13, 2004

ok, that is a valid opinion, and since the consensus seems to go along with this , mening private, i will honor that and not discuss this type of stuff furthermore.  i didnt name names, adresses, photos, we are just faceless names with a nick stapled to our posts and a hotmail address on our profile.

But if this is too real for some people, as a community member, ill honor it.  period.

[Cali James]

... in response to Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by Killi on Aug 12, 2004

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

I told my wife your story last night and her response wasn't too different then Heat's, she said she wouldn't be surprised if it was a scam.  I can't really say if it was a scam myself but I guess I wouldn't be surprised by it, we've heard everything here.  

Regarding the abortion, best kept private.  But since you brought it up and did so casually as if it were just a trip to the dentist, you can expect some strong responses.  Removing a fetus (child) from it's mothers womb, however young the fetus may be, is really a sad thing IMO.  I'm not in the "wow aren't you lucky" camp here on PL who think you've just escaped being a father.  I'm really hoping it's a scam.

[Killi]

... in response to Re: Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by Cali James on Aug 13, 2004

i already am a father.  I have an 8 year old daughter.

And the week of going through emotionally what i have was not something i posted about, i just posted because i wanted to share with the community.  and regardles of negative feedback, i am a sharer.  If my story helps a few good hearted guys, than thats enough fo rme.   I can wade through bullshit to find a light, it is not a problem to me.  THis was a possibly tramautic experience indeed, and i hope that by working hard in this relationship, as she has proven she will and continues every day, i cna wade through what you guys anticipate as bullshit, to find the light that i believe she indeed is.

As far as a scam, i can think of a lot better scams that a woman could pull, but hey, im not really into that sorta stuff.

Ill update you guys every so often, see if i start feeling light in the wallet becuase of her.. maybe you guys can relish in your heartfelt chuckles and last laughs if it happens.

Which brings me to another point, the post wasnt casual, it was tough to type, but i didnt use emotinal words, becuase this is print, not verbal discussion in person.  Im not a BAM!, ZOOM! kind of poster.  sometimes i wih i was.

And also, how long of a time frame does it take to prove it wasnt a scam.. i mean its easy to point ot a scam, and if i say hey... we are still happy. she is here. yadda yadda yadda, all you saltines will just say... wait and see.   but lastly, and luckily, i am only here for the  conversation, not fishing for approval, and i guess what i am saying is that it does not matter to me if you guys ever eat your words on this or not, because i live my life for me and those i love... not cut and pasters.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Re: Surprise visit to my woman (long..., posted by Killi on Aug 13, 2004

[This message has been edited by Cali James]

"Which brings me to another point, the post wasnt casual, it was tough to type, but i didnt use emotinal words, becuase this is print, not verbal discussion in person. Im not a BAM!, ZOOM! kind of poster. sometimes i wih i was."

Maybe casual wasn't the right word.  I got the impression from your posts that you were pretty upset when you learned you were going to be a father again but extremely releived about her terminating the life of her/your fetus.  The anxiety is from the pregnancy, I don't get the impression it's from the abortion.

"so yea, i agree with ya. i joked with her today that i am engaged to a criminal. we do not have any unexpected silence or weird topics things are still rollin great, even after this near catastrophe. i was seriously messed up mentally when she tld me the positive...

Phew. sure learned me a lesson fast "

[Killi]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Surprise visit to my woman (..., posted by Cali James on Aug 13, 2004

YEA, after re reading it comes off as you desribe.  defintely.  it iis not a true statement of how it feels, but, i cannot disagree with the response it illicits.

I do retract the mannerism i used in that excerpt.  trying to seem macho, needlessly, is all i can assume went into that verbiage

[zack]

... in response to Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by Killi on Aug 12, 2004

I know you feel confident about her sincerity. But down the road if you suspect that she may have scammed you, and if you speak Spanish, maybe you should tell her that you want to talk to the doctor because you have some questions about the procedure, such as the after effects of it, or birth control options. If she repeatedly makes excuses for you not to talk to him, not a good sign. But if you talk to the doctor personally then you would know for sure.

[Killi]

... in response to Re: Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by zack on Aug 13, 2004

i spoke to the doctor, yes in Spanish.  Remember, i was there a few days ago.  I made the rounds.  thank you for this input.  He said there were no complications, and, actually, ill leave it at that, i just read the other post and it seems the community wants me to shut down talking about this.

again, thank you, this is helpful reasoning, not a blind attack

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Surprise visit to my woman (long), posted by zack on Aug 13, 2004

My wife had a birth control divice called a "T"

It is inserted in the uterus and then releases estrogen just like in the PILL.

it is 99% efective and lasts for 5 years before another is needed.

the initial cots is like 100k pesos.

They have the same thing here in the states, but it is not widely used because of the rate of infection and women are so used to the Pill.

it is one option for your girl to explore .

my wife never had complications.

KB

[Killi]

... in response to Re: Re: Surprise visit to my woman (long..., posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 13, 2004

her in the USA it is called... damn i forget.  it is a copperish metal that is inserted as you say.  My ex had it back in 96, and removed it the next year and opted for the pill.  

I bleive they jsut refer to it as an IUD.  there is also Norplant in  the arm, an embedded patch.

The IUD interferes with physical relations in a small percentage of couples, depending on various factors.