Question for the married

[zack]

Those of you who are married to a Latina, has your wife's attitude changed for the worse since she arrived in America? In other words, do you think that your wife has become Americanized? I'm sure it largely depends on where you live. She is a lot less likely to become Americanized if you live on a farm vs in a big city. The general feeling here is that ALL Latinas eventually become Americanized and hence, don't necessarily make better wives than American women. I disagree. Some Latinas who live in a big American city refuse to adopt the feminist attitudes, based on couples I know.  What is your feeling on this?

[zack]

... in response to Question for the married, posted by zack on Aug 15, 2004

I'm suprized, not one negative story. I won't complain )
Thanks for all your stories! They are very inspiring. I won't forget them.

Zack

[Jeff S]

... in response to Question for the married, posted by zack on Aug 15, 2004

Not married to a Latina, but an Asian lady for 18 years now. She hasn't chenged a bit in her attitude about marriage, women's roles in the world, or materilaism. Her attitude seems to have been ingrained since childhood. She thinks of radical feminism as a silly ignorance with the natural "way" of things. She's no ignorant subserviant slave either, but an intelligent, university educated, strong woman, who manages our home and finances expertly. I believe if you find the right woman with her head screwed on straight, who believes a marriage is a team effort, each partner doing their part, who believes that men and women are different, equal but opposite, not interchangeable, her attitudes will not change no matter how much modern America she's exposed to.

My wife also came from a well to do family, and contrary to what many people believe, is anything but spoiled - is in fact frugal. Though we do fairly well, she thinks about every purchase. I trust her to hold my wallet, and she'll always consult me before spending anything substantial. It seems to me the women who were dirt poor before marriage are the ones who don't understand money and tend to go nuts with the credit cards rater the ones who grew up middle or upper middle class. Just a small anecdotal sampling, though, not enough to draw any definitive conclusions.

- Jeff

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Question for the married, posted by zack on Aug 15, 2004

My wife has only been here for 5 months but I see absolutely no change in her. Of course she was 43 when she came here so it was unlikely that her personality was going to change very much at this point in her life. The only things she has adopted have been in the area of conveniences - using the washer and dishwasher instead of doing everything by hand, using frozen juices instead of making fresh juice from fruit, using frozen french fries instead of making them from potatoes. She is stiil the same sweet, cheerful, devoted and loving wife that she was when I married her a year ago. She is the best wife imaginable - last night when I was lying in bed with her going to sleep I was thinking, "If there is a heaven on earth, this is it."

[zack]

... in response to Only been 5 months - so far so good, posted by utopiacowboy on Aug 15, 2004

Thanks. Your story is inspiring. I believe that if you marry a sweet woman, it is likely that she will remain sweet. If you marry a not-so-sweet woman, she is more likely to become Americanized. I don't believe that personalities change much over time, generally speaking. Slightly, but not much.

Congratulations for finding such a woman.

Zack

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Only been 5 months - so far so good, posted by utopiacowboy on Aug 15, 2004

Congrats

Says something for marrying a mature woman instead of a young child, but what do i know, my wife is 29 and is the biggeset baby i know.

[cedro]

... in response to Re: Only been 5 months - so far so good, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 15, 2004

I have been married to my wife for almost 2 years now.  She is from Mexico and has been in the united states since May of 2001.  

She is very family oriented. She has NO desired to be americanized.  Actually,,, she is not very crazy about the gringas here.  She doesn't care to much about the fancy cars, ect.  But she does, on occasion like to go shopping for clothes and what ever.  She is responsible when she shops.  I helped her open up credit in her name, and now she has established Excellent credit!

My wife loves me alot and would do anything for me.  We have a great relationship.  Her family and her up bringing was very family-orientated.  She is from a smaller city in Mexico,,,and not very many bad influences there.  She graduated college with a teachers degree (education).

If your worried about finding someone who may become americanized... just be a good judge of character.

[kented]

... in response to Happily married, posted by cedro on Aug 15, 2004

Both of you marriages are inspiring.  My wife isn't here yet so I'm a ways away from knowing for sure.

Just pick a woman with good character who is mature.  That seems to be the best advise.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Happily married, posted by cedro on Aug 15, 2004

The above is true about my wife and marriage as well.