[This message has been edited by Phoenix]
The post is constructed around comments by Bueller(B) and DavidMN(D) made on 7-19-04.
(B) "Clay and Phoenix are one and the same."
This is true. I never intended to conceal the fact that I was "Clay". I used part of my email address known to others to identify myself, wrote in the same style and referred to the same experiences. I chose not to use "Clay" because there was another poster who referred to himself as "Red Clay".
This list has actually been more interesting than the other list, especially due to it's horror stories (which offset the hype), so I thought I would come and check you guys out. I never thought I would become such a big issue especially due to the different format. I did post a lot (no apologies) and I could see why someone could get tired emails with my name on it but this list is in a different format I never imagined that my 15 minutes of fame (infamy) would be extended in this forum. Fine with me. It was your decision, not mine.
(B)"...denying he is Clay"
For the life of me, I cannot understand why a bunch of grown men on this list would be disturbed because I wouldn't sign my posts with four particular letters - "c l a y". Get a freaking life. I have obviously had some fun with this referring to that "Clay fellow" but I was laughing at you, not with you.
(D)"SO many people have taken the time to write constructive comments to him. It was and is pointless."
It was not only pointless, it was useless, just psycho-babble not worth the hard disk space it was written on. The only useful advice is to learn Spanish. However, this is general advice that should apply to EVERYONE engaged in this quest.
(B)"But his history over the past four years on LWL and now here is a long path of self-pity; whining; blaming women for his travails while never admitting any fault of his own;"
I have been honest with my feelings. Brutally honest. I am not perfect and never said I was. Neither is anyone on this list and no Latina is perfect, except for Hoda's wife. I have simply called it as it saw it. The things I have said about height discrimination from even short women are true, the things I have said about American Black women are true, the things I have said about Black culture are true, the things I have said about feminism are true, and yes, the many things I have said about the realities of Latinas' attitudes - especially when it comes to money, are true and have been confirmed. If that's whining, then I'm guilty as charge. In my frustration, maybe I repeated things things too often but that's what the delete key is for, or with this list, you can simply avoid opening anything that says "Phoenix" on it.
(B)"openly fantasizing about showing off his (as yet strangely elusive) new hottie to women who have spurned him, for the purpose of vindicating his ego, instead of searching for a woman to love;"
Any woman who I may bring back will be hot to me. I want others to see me with my new wife. If that's a sin, I will gladly burn in hell. Being alone is hell so it can't be much worse. Yeah, I WANT TO SHOW OFF MY "HOT" LATIN WIFE. It would be nice to go to a Christmas Party and introduce my wife to my boss. It would be nice to walk in a nightclub and say to hell with all of the (the word we can't say on this list) because I have a nice looking woman hanging on my arm. But none of this is inconsistent with loving her. Ultimately, I want to show her off because she loves me and I love her and I want people to know that "Clay" is not alone anymore. So, yes, I will continue to fantasize and I will continue to dream!! What's life without having a dream or living a dream? Many men on this list have openly talked about not settling for anything less than a Hot woman and that's ok but when I say I would be proud to have a nice Latina wife then I'm put in the same category as Bin Laden and Hitler.
(B)"...posing absurd rhetorical questions to gain attention;"
I find the discussion interesting. This is part of what a list is all about. It's more than just reading a trip report. It's others who keep giving me attention by drawing attention to the poster, NOT THE POST. Nothing I have posted is anymore absurd than this off topic obsession with bashing Democrats and Liberals. At least I stay on topic or relate my topic to the subject at hand. I AM ABSOLUTELY FASCINATED BY CULTURAL DIFFERENCES and I do in fact enjoy posing questions that explore these issues. If these questions irritate you personally, I am quite please to do so because my mission in life is not to please you.
(B)"...pointing out negative news articles to show how the deck is stacked against him;"
True, because a Black man who does not fit a certain set images does in fact have the cards stacked against him. I enjoy social research on culture and am amazed how well documented these issues are. Most things I say can in fact be backed up with statistics. The cultural backdrop I have commented on is DIRECTLY relevant to my search in Latin America. Maybe it is not relevant to your search, but it is to my search.
(B)"never congratulating anyone for their success"
No one is particularly supportive of me so why should I go out of my way to congratulate someone who has been harsh towards me or who has never interacted with me. I don't know most of you from ADAM. You are just pixels on my computer screen. My sincerest congratulations to TROY - he is a decent gentlemen and I wish him the greatest happiest. Again, why is anyone concerned about who congratulates who? We would have a thread a mile long if everyone on the list gave fake congratulations to everyone else just because they filed a K1. I'm more prone to congratulate after 5 years and two kids - then you have made it. Hell, DallasSteve just announced his sister-in-law's marriage seems to be on the rocks even with a kid in the picture.
(D)"Highest on his list of desirable qualities is usually 'sweetness' which appears to be his code word for submissive. Never anything about compatibility, mutual interests/mutual goals, best friend, etc."
There is no substitute for sweetness and sweetness does indeed imply a certain deference. The other things you mentioned are a given for a woman if she is to even be considered a prospect in the first place. But the issue of "sweetness" can't be assumed since so many women have lost the art of being "sweet". Nothing can work without "sweetness". As for as submissiveness, I have stated over and over that I used the word as it is used in Ephesians. Now, you can twist that like a licorice stick if you want but pull the Bible out and read it. I want a loving wife who will make sacrifices for her husband and family, not a doormat. To use Steve's example, I want a woman who will be happy to live with me in the country even if she prefers the city.
(D)"Some of what he writes (if true) portrays him as a menace, a pest. It's like he's stalking these cashiers and clerks in his head."
What in the Sam Hill are you talking about? I have introduced myself to women in public both here and in Latin America. What in the world have you been smoking? Are you suggesting that it's ok to order a woman out of a book in an agency but to approach a woman in public is somehow stalking? You are nuts.
(D)"The kiss-by-kiss description a year or two ago of a 40- something guy with a poor 20-something girl in a Panama City hotel room was just plain creepy. "
I described a precious moment in my life, a moment when it appeared that my dreams would come true. We have had men here who regularly boast of sexual conquests on this list and you have the nerve to single out my comments as being "creepy"? I kissed a woman, who probably by that time was already sexually active and who became pregnant a few months later. We have had guys here post or give links to pictures of practically naked young women but I'm the creepy one. I have a question for you. What the f#ck is your problem?
As as far as that HODA is concerned, I need to take a restraining order out against him. If anything is creepy it's him. Why would a grown man continue with his asinine obsessive attacks on me is beyond any understanding. If you want creepy, regardless of his other positive contributions, look to Hoda.
Well, I hope everyone now is happy.
For my supporters (and I do have a few), thank you. For the rest of you, again, my mission in life is not to please you. You will not deter me or discourage me.
