UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE

[Kiltboy1]

I hear ya

I will eat some crow as well. i too said i would never return to Colombia after my bad experiance with my wife and a few"OTHER" head casas.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I too miss Colombia, the culture and the people that really no other Latin country i expect can duplicate. I also have met and become close with who might be the most wonderful woman i have ever met period, let alone a latina.

This is a woman that works hard to support her children, does not partisipate in the Cali ritual of "RUMBA" AND IS NOT A BAILAR BARFLY !

This is a woman that has the traditional values that i origionaly went to colombia to look for and that all the agency hype played up . She lives in Cali, BUT HERE IS THE CATCH !

She is not from Cali . She is from a small puebla 3 hours from Cali and only left becuase her father was killed by FARC and the family made the decision that it was best for the children to get away from there.

As far as my wife goes, she has called me 2 times in the last 2 weeks and has tried to wiggle her way back into my heart with words like "I MISS YOU" AND CRAP LIKE THAT.

She phoned me again last night about 10pm as i was speaking on the intenet camera with "MY WONDERFUL NEW FRIEND" ,and she had this attitude of surpreamecy about her . I listened to her words and looked at my wonderful friend smiling back at me in the camera ,  who is nothing but sincere with me about her life and her desires and her intentions, and i made a decision then and there about the direction of my life.

I TOLD MY WIFE SHE WAS NOTHING BUT A WOMAN THAT PLAYS GAMES WITH PEOPLE AND THAT I WAS FINISHED WITH HER ONCE AND FOR ALL AND TO NEVER CALL ME  OR MY DAUGHTER AGAIN AND THAT I WAS DEAD SEROIUS !!!

SHE SAID OK AND HUNG UP THE PHONE . I THEN LOOKED BACK INTO THE CAMERA AND MY WONDERFUL FRIEND HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE LOOKING BACK AT ME , AND I KNEW THEN AND THERE, I NO LONGER NEEDED MY WIFE IN MY LIFE TO BE HAPPY

Who knows if my new friend is "THE ONE", only time will tell, but she certainly has shown me i deserve better then what i got in my marriage to a woman who was really  mentaly distirbed and depresed  and that my future is still very bright to find that "latin perfecta para mi" for my life

KB, somewhat of a hipocrite in the past , now sees the light

Chao

[potman]

... in response to UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

ouch, burn me once shame on you.......

[zack]

... in response to UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

Hi Kiltboy,

Isn't it interesting how a good woman makes a bad lady from your past stand out and shine with her true, God-aweful colors? Now that you have a good woman to compare her to you must laugh at the memory of your EX. Congratulations, I'm glad you met someone nice, and I hope it all works out for you.

Zack

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by zack on Aug 9, 2004

Zack

everyone told me it would be that way.

As i said , only time will tell how things go withmy friend, but she has called me at my home and on my cell phone 12(countem) 12 times in te last 10 days.

My wife no only called me 1 time the in our whole relationship. Only then, it was to ask for money.

My new friend is just not cut from the same mold. She lives in Cali, but is from a small town 3 hours from there and spent most of her life there and the values that a small town life instills.

She makes it very clear her intentions to me and that she cannot be lummped with the woman of cali and that she shares no commun traites with the women of cali.

She is --ANTI CALENA AS I HAVE MET !!!!

But you are correct. I am really able to see exactly just how stupid and inmature my wofe really is

Gotta love a new latina

KB

[stefang]

... in response to UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

Hi Kilt you are definately better off staying away. America has become a
divorce society because guys are willing to re-marry divorced women. I
know some guys will jump all over for me for saying this but very few
divorced women in South America have the oppurtunity to re-marry as
they do here.

The women here already have the advantage in the courtrooms. A
neighbor just down the street finally got out of jail because his wife
reported him for threatening her. She was sleeping around on him so he
kicked her out. She didn't mind at first because she went and stayed with
her new boyfriend but she wanted to be back with her husband. He
didn't want anything to do with her. Well she was angry so she stalked
him, always following him around. One day she reports he tried to run
her over while she was with her boyfriend. Now this is the best part, his
van was not even working he had no car at the time and supposedly he
tried to run her over. Our government is a joke they believe anything
coming out of a woman's mouth. Now the neighbors are all signing a
paper as proof of her stalking to help him out in his upcoming hearing.

This is why I see divorced women as plagues especially in this country.
Once she sees how the courts work you may just be her new victim to
s@ck dry. You are always better starting off with a new woman who never
married. If guys stop marrying the divorced women then you will start to
see positive change in our society. As long as guys continue to reward
women for bad behavior it will not change.

The other thing I have noticed is the married men in my neighborhood
have no say in the family. The kids are out of control the mothers let
them do whatever they want. The fathers try to control them and make
them responsible for their actions but momma always argues against
their own husbands. The women are spending them into debt. The
stupid crap they are constantly buying is unbelievable. This is what
happens when you let the women run your life. She spends until your
credit cards are full  and your wages can't support it anymore. They end
up refinancing the house to pay off the bills and the new cycle begins. I
swear the guys just seem like work clones very few are happy but they
will not say anything because the wives do the sex for money keep me
happy deal.

Now I think I might of scared myself from marriage.

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

Klitboy1

 I think you are making the right choice after everything that woman has
pulled on you.... you would be crazy if you ever let her step in the house
again... go with the friend you have made if it does not work then you can
always keep looking....

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Fuzzyone on Aug 6, 2004

Thanks Fuzzy

it took me a long time to get to where i am now, but the important thing is that i am there and am not going to let her back into my life or my daughters life. The woman is just too unstable to ever trust again

KB

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Re: Re: UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

I kept getting kicked in the teeth too... but I learned my lesson it took
awhile... mine tried several times to make it look like she was in fear for her
life, like she was being abused. She ended up on Zolof but I still could never
trust her.... She ended up out of the house and I had to start over...

 I think you should think about your daughter too... you do not want her to
think you are whacked too by letting the crazy b@tch back in the house after
all that crap. I had to go back and read your post on what she did to you... let
some other poor man put up with her... she will find one that will put the
smack down on her...

Good luck with your new girl there is a woman out there for you....

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Fuzzyone on Aug 6, 2004

Thanks fuzzy

like i said for those that have not really followed what she did to me, they need to read and then judge. i put up with a lot of crap, waited a lot of time for her to figure out what she wanted and took her son in as if he were my own and all i asked for in return was honesty and comittment

she was never able to give me either of those and it is funny how children can see things so much more clearly then adults because we want to cover over things so much and all they know how to do is tell it like it is.

After my wife called me and then she spoke to my daughter and told her she loved her and she was her family, mu daughter asked me to come into the den and she said to me"DADDY, SHE IS NOT COMING BACK. SHE IS JUST PLAYING GAMES WITH US. IF WE WERE HER FAMILY, SHE COULD NOT GET BACK HERE FAST ENOUGH.

This is my 7 year old daughter laying it all out there for me to see. I would never allow this woman to hurt my daughter again, PERIOD !!

I will move on , content in my decision, and the part i read about  "I at least know what this poison is" , does not realy flush well with me. I try to keep a POISON FREE HOME !!

KB

[Stezo71]

... in response to UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

Kilt you mentioned Internet cam. What are you guys using? Just chat software w/ Cam? Like Msn, yahoo etc.. Is she using a high speed connection?

Thanks

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Question, posted by Stezo71 on Aug 6, 2004

i have a "veo' cam i bought at best buy a few years ago. it works with MSN messenger.

My girl is using the internet cafes camera in cali and they work well together .i am on road runner cable connection as well

KB

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to UPDATE--MY WIFE AND MY LIFE, posted by Kiltboy1 on Aug 6, 2004

Kiltboy

Is your wife still in the US?  

Have you actually met your new "friend"?

If the answers are Yes and No (in that order) I would reconsider opening a dialog with my ex, if I was in the same situation, and I almost was 2 years ago.

My ex left and then she later she invited me out to dinner.  I turned her down because I had already met and asked my wife to marry me, but if I had not yet met her I would've given it another try.

Other will say this is bad advice because you already know your ex is a problem.  My response would be "Every woman has her own problems.  Once you get to know your friend a little better, or a lot better, you will see she's not perfect either."

Or as my boss said after one of our fellow employees remarried his ex-wife: "That's a case of choosing the known poison."

Steve

[Stezo71]

... in response to A different point of view, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 6, 2004

Dallas your right on with your advice brother. Whenever you meet a new woman she can do no wrong. Its even more prevalent in these situtions because most Calenas are so sweet and in a long distance relationship your def not going to see them at their worst. The number one thing Ive learned being married to Calena for the past 2 1/2 years is that there is a hell of alot more similarities between them and American women (all women) then differences. Women are women and theres only so much differences that culture can effect. That said Im happy I married my wife and if things eventually did not work out I still cant picture EVER being married to an American woman.

[Heat]

... in response to Re: A different point of view, posted by Stezo71 on Aug 6, 2004

Women are women and theres only so much differences that culture can effect""

Wonderfull advice here.  Right on the money.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: A different point of view, posted by Stezo71 on Aug 6, 2004

Thanks for your support.

I would add that when I hear a man say that some woman is absolutely awful, or the worst person on Earth, or words to that effect, and does so in terms that sound very bitter, I wonder if the perception has been warped by emotion.  Such a man may be better off to try to alter his own point of view than to look for some other woman that he thinks is much better.  I had a bad experience with my ex but I don't think you'll find any posts in the archives that sound so bitter.

Steve