Need suggestions for upcoming RP visit

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Stay home ! lol, posted by Minnesota guy on Aug 12, 2001

Minnesota,

May I make a suggestion? Before you visit your pen pal, why not correspond with some of her family members. If there is a possibility that you may decide to marry this girl some day, you will definitely want to get to know her family also. I would not ask her to accompany you alone against the objections of her family. This will only cause major problems and make you out as the bad guy and possibly damage her reputation. If the family doesn’t care if she accompanies you alone, then go for it.

Chaperones are quite common and traditional for single ladies, especially the younger ones. Don’t pressure her to travel alone with you, but let Her decide which way is best for her.

Good luck on your trip.

Ray

[Minnesota guy]

... in response to Chaperones, posted by Ray on Aug 12, 2001

Thanks everyone for all the input. I enjoy getting as much information and as many points of view as possible. I hope I can contribute some in the future as all of this unfolds.To clarify things a bit: My introduction to my penpal was through her Aunt who is married to my next door neighbor. I also work with both of them so they know me fairly well. My penpal grew up in Leyte and both of her parents reside there. Presently she lives her brother and his family while she works in Manila. There is another Aunt also in Manila. The Manila relatives are Ok with her traveling with me. I do agree that there will be some awkwardness since we only know each other from a distance. I thought we could spend time at first visiting the Manila relatives and later she would like to visit a sister in Cebu City. My neighbor is building a large home in Leyte so I suppose I'm kind of riding in on his coattails.

[kevin]

... in response to Chaperones, posted by Ray on Aug 12, 2001

to correspond with family members a bit is an excellent way to learn about them, and what they expect of you, as well as learning more about her.

I just learned a lesson.  Analyn's brother is the only family member that I had any kind of correspondence with.  We had not exchanged too many e-mails.  But the first e-mail, he was all excited about me loving Analyn and hoped that I would "provide her a life of luxury here in America".  At the time, I wanted to dismiss that as misunderstood Filipino-English grammar.  Well, last week it became alarmingly, flgrantly clear that that was not the case and that it meant what it implied.

The bottom line is that if family members throw heavy demands at you, especially when you're first getting acquainted with them, run for your life.

- Kevin