Reflections on Cali

[Seeker]

My fourth trip to Colombia has come and gone. I now find myself with a greater awareness and appreciation for the complexities surrounding the process of finding a life partner in Colombia. Prior to embarking on this recent journey to Cali, I had great confidence that this time around I would find a woman that would lead to a serious relationship, potentially marriage. I also felt that if I didn't find this woman, I could convince myself that this process was not worth the effort and expense. I was ready to make this trip to Colombia my last and lose myself, once again, in work and financial goals.

Fortunately, on my second day in Colombia, I met three women in a row that I felt would fulfill everything that I longed for in a Colombian wife. Although I attempted to equally follow-up on all of them, only one of them reciprocated in the same manner. The feeling of "GAME OVER" made me uncomfortable. Ironically, I knew I had found a gem, but I wanted to keep seeking for an ideal partner. I wanted the "perfect" partner that we all dream about, but that in reality doesn't exist.

The woman I met is 23 years old, 5'6", has a gorgeous body and takes extremely good care of her physical appearance. She lives with her parents and her younger brother. Her mother is a "triquena" (Black) and her father White. She has very strong family and moral values. She lost her job two months ago, but is busy making resumes and networking to find employment. She lives a very humble lifestyle. Once a week the family meets at her uncle's hamburger stand to have dinner and visit eachother. I made an effort to get to know the family. I invited her mother and brother for lunch on one occassion. Her family had me over for lunch on another. We took her little brother to the zoo. All of us went to the stadium to watch the Cali vs. River soccer game (Cali lost 1 to 3). We went dancing to Chan'go in Juanchito on Friday night. My last night in Cali I went over to her house and we took pictures and dad and I had a beer together. Lastly, on Sunday morning, dad picked me up in his taxi and drove me to the airport. Minutes before getting on the plane, we talked on cell phone and we both told one another "Te quiero mucho."

In conclusion, I believe I have found the woman that I had been seeking. Physically she looks different than the image I had in my mind. However, she is as "perfect" as they come. We promised to stay in touch and I saw a strong resolve and committment in her to make this relationship work. I believe my ardous journey has come to an end. It took two trips to Brazil and four trips to Colombia, at least $10,000 in the last year alone; but above all, it took patience and faith despite many disappointments. Thank you for your support and guidance along the way.

[Pete E]

... in response to Reflections on Cali, posted by Seeker on May 31, 2004

S,
I knew you would eventually be succesfull if you kept at it.Of course you need to somehow spend more  time getting to know her better.You are one person I don't see making any stupid mistakes.
Good luck and congratualations.

Pete

[Heat]

... in response to Reflections on Cali, posted by Seeker on May 31, 2004

Take your time.  Divorce and child support will cost more than a few more trips to see her.  Invest the time and money.

[Phoenix]

... in response to Reflections on Cali, posted by Seeker on May 31, 2004

You said, "Physically she looks different than the image I had in my mind."

What did you have in mind and how is she different?

[kented]

... in response to Reflections on Cali, posted by Seeker on May 31, 2004

Cali is a wonderdful city and I'm glad your trip was so successful.  

Let me comment on the category called "perfect".  Once you find someone who is physically attractive to you and well put together, I don't think you choose your life partner as you would select a winner in a beauty pagent.  

Loving you back is the major category.  Knowing her family and how she lives her life is second.  You appear to have hit a home run on both those categories.  

Now you need to spend all your vacation time getting to know her as has already been suggested.  The process is complicated and takes time and money but it sounds like your doing everything right.

[burbuja2]

... in response to Reflections on Cali, posted by Seeker on May 31, 2004

I'm glad things seem to be working out for you.  What's the next step?  In situations like this, I think a second follow-up visit within 2-3 months is extremely important.  Unfortunately, it can also be the start of a real budget-buster.

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to Reflections on Cali, posted by Seeker on May 31, 2004

The word triqueña doesn’t mean “black” as in a racial designation.  It refers to a light brown skin color.  I never heard of this word until I went to Colombia, but I think it’s main use is as a classification of skin color on their identification cards.  Thus, it is not a racial category.  For example, someone who is a mixture of Indian and Spanish could have this skin color as well as someone who is pure Spanish.

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re:  Reflections on Cali, posted by valuedcustomer on May 31, 2004

Una triquena puede recibir acion affirmativa en EEUU?  Si?  WHAT A CONE-TREE!

[Heat]

... in response to I Have a Question, posted by burbuja2 on May 31, 2004

LOL....the one drop rule.

I kept wanting to ask how we can prove a person is black enough for AA?  Should a white person say he is "african/American how can they prove he's not telling the truth?  Crazy stuff this racist AA.

[Pete E]

... in response to One drop rule..., posted by Heat on May 31, 2004

I bet some people have hit the tanning booths over that one.After one water ski vacation I came back darker than my boss,a medium  skinned black man.
Lets see,tanning booths,do rag and pick up some language tips listening to rap records.Remember mother is half a word.
Serously,what do they want,pictures of your parents and granparents,family tree going back to the emancipation proclamation?
My family on my fathers side is Spanish Basque.Unlike some Basque names,our does not sound Spanish.But I saw a catagory one time ,something like all other persons of Spanish ancestory.Well the grandparents did come from Spain.
I had a female cousin.Same family name,with a little documentation it could be shown coming from Spain.Her mother was blond hair blue eyed,so was she,but I guess she got some sort of scholarship out of it.Another cousion of ours told me about it.He said I bet you didn't know we Basques are minorities.We laughed like hell about it.
I guess if everybody could qualify nobody would be special.

Pete

[Heat]

... in response to Re: One drop rule..., posted by Pete E on May 31, 2004

I guess if everybody could qualify nobody would be special.""

God..... that would be death for the politicans.  

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to I Have a Question, posted by burbuja2 on May 31, 2004

Read my post again.  In Colombia it's a skin color classification and not a racial or ethnic category.  In the United States it doesn't mean anything.  Although, in the United States "Hispanic" is an ethnic category which is used sometimes, so I assume that even a Colombian with white skin can call themselves Hispanic.