A 10 by any other name...

[jumgimbo]

Without belaboring this point too much, and with the proviso that I've never been to Colombia, I agree with Pete and the others who say there really isn't a 10 out there that most of us will ever touch in any meaningful way.  But, man, if the girls in Colombia are as good as I see on the websites and hear about from those who've traveled there, it sounds like the odds there are far better than here.  I've been trying to date American women since my divorce and it's been a frustrating waste of time.  Bad attitudes, bad figures, argumentative, competitive, just plain bad bad bad.  

Last woman I dated was filipina, age 38, no kids, very sexy looking.  Probably a 7.5 when dressed up and with makeup, about a 5 without.  Pneumatic lungs bolted on but a very good job, maybe 5'2", 125 lbs.  She used to cook for me, buy me presents, was very enthusiastic and passionate when the lights were out, but, as one guy pointed out, sometimes the good looking girl ain't what she's cracked up to be if she's just too simple.  And, my friends, this gal was simple.  Utterly boring to be around, in fact.  Though she'd been in the U.S. for 20 years still very much filipina in culture and attitude, yet not well educated and no interests outside watching TV or going to the movies.  Nothing to talk about, in other words, and it made for some mighty tedious time together when we weren't horizontal.  

Needless to say it ended before I had to blow any money on flowers for Valentine's Day and I'm glad it did.  I couldn't picture spending time with this woman, no matter how s*xy she was, because we just had not a dang thing to talk about.  I can't imagine what it's like with a Colombiana who has little English if the guy has little Spanish.  What kind of torture is that, anyway?  Speaking pidgin English or bad Spanish to communicate, no meaningful conversations, no ability to discuss current events, no common cultural interests, nada.  Would someone please explain to me how it's possible to maintain a relationship with a beautiful but simple, uneducated gal from a foreign land?  

I'm not the most intellectual of fellas but I do keep abreast of the news, have an advanced degree, and have traveled widely.  I'm getting the impression I'll have to go to Bogota to find an educated woman who might speak more than basic English.  Not looking for one with kids, either, thank you very much, but would like a lady in her 30s instead of the younger ones.  Just my thoughts for the day.  

E

[HeyNow]

... in response to A 10 by any other name..., posted by jumgimbo on Mar 20, 2004

If it is a filipina, I have a word of advice, "Run".

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to A 10 by any other name..., posted by jumgimbo on Mar 20, 2004

Talk about misconceptions. When I began with my now wife, I think I knew 5 words in Spanish. We have been married 6 months and she still doesn't speak any English. I learned Spanish along the way and it was anything but torture! In fact even from the first we have always communicated well and have always had a million things to say to each other. Every night without fail, we talk for a couple of hours and really, what we talk about is irrelevant. We just like to be with each other - it's like being connected and exchanging energy and feeling very alive when we are together - whether it's in person or via cyber. She is well educated but none of our conversations require higher education. BTW, I have a degree in English, a degree in Computer Science and a law degree and my wife never fails to hold my interest. But each to his own!

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re: A 10 by any other name..., posted by utopiacowboy on Mar 21, 2004

There is no utopia.  Now, she doesn't speak english, you speak little spanish, but you can communicate ..."its like being connected and exchanging energy...-whether its in person or via cyber."  I see what you mean, because what you are communicating to me, much more than your words, is that you are completely unrealistic.  Unless your "well educated" wife can also mystically communicate with other non-spanish speakers, she will never hold professional employment without some knowledge of english.  Its laudable that you are attempting to learn spanish, but its more important that she learn english.  Why have you not enrolled her in an english as a second language program?  If I might quote Bill O'Reilly, counsellor, "What say you?"

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Earth to Cowboy, posted by burbuja2 on Mar 22, 2004

Actually, at this point I am nearly fluent in Spanish so I don't really care if she learns English or not. If she wants to learn English, she will and if she doesn't, she won't. When you ask "why have you not enrolled her in an English as second language program", I have to wonder. What am I? Her father? Her owner? It's her business if she wants to enroll or not. She did not speak any English when I met her so it would be a little hypocritical for me to be demanding that she learn English now.

[david hagar]

... in response to Re: Earth to Cowboy, posted by utopiacowboy on Mar 22, 2004

You are doing your wife a disservice by not insisting that she learn the language of this country.  She will never be able to understand the history and the concepts of this great nation.   How would you feel, if you went to live in her country and she did not want her to learn the language in the country in which you lived?   She always will be limited in her social skills and the ability to function in our society

Beattledog

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Re: Earth to Cowboy, posted by david hagar on Mar 22, 2004

Two things. First, she is my wife, not my child, slave or possession. She has a mind of her own and does what she wants. Second, she is not even here yet. I am sure that she will learn English when she gets here.

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Earth to Cowboy, posted by utopiacowboy on Mar 22, 2004

[This message has been edited by burbuja2]

No one is arguing that you should force your wife to do anything.  Is there any reason (other than your wife is not your slave)that even you can think of why your wife shouldn't start learning English NOW?  Also, where do you think its costs more for instruction, here or Colombia?  If she doesn't want to take lessons, doesn't that concern you?  I'm beginning to think you didn't graduate very high in your class.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Yo, CowBOY, Put on Your Thinking Cap, posted by burbuja2 on Mar 22, 2004

Have you ever been to Colombia, more especially Medellin? No one speaks English there. I had to speak Spanish to the certified translator who translated our documents for my visa petition. Again you make some erroneous assumptions. As a matter of fact she WAS being tutored but the guy couldn't really speak English so all they did was go over English grammar. The way to learn any language is simply to start speaking it and pick up as much grammar as you need as you go along. She's a smart woman - she doesn't need me lecturing her on why she needs to learn English.

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re: Yo, CowBOY, Put on Your Thinking Cap, posted by utopiacowboy on Mar 22, 2004

There is no one in the entire City of Medellin who is qualified to teach English.  And sure, formal education is a waste of time and money.  Well, thanks for clearing that up.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Oh, O.K..  Now I Understand, posted by burbuja2 on Mar 23, 2004

Children do not learn a language through formal education. I can speak three languages, none of which I learned through formal education. How many can you speak? And BTW, what do you know about Medellin or Colombia for that matter?

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re: Earth to Cowboy, posted by utopiacowboy on Mar 22, 2004

You have admitted that there was no discussion prior to you marriage about your wife's hostility to learning english.  You apparently have failed to grasp the closed avenues for her, both socially and professionally.  What has she done the last 6 months?  Does it not concern you that she has no desire to become integrated into US society?  You are guilty of incredibly poor planning and a lack of foresight.  You are a cowboy.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Utopia Cowboy Found Guilty, posted by burbuja2 on Mar 22, 2004

Whoa! You are making a lot of assumptions here. My wife is not hostile to learning English. She is still living in Colombia! I am going down next week to bring her and the kids back. I am sure that once she is here she will learn English. So what am I guilty of? Unbelieveable.

[burbuja2]

... in response to Unbelieveable, posted by utopiacowboy on Mar 22, 2004

So what's the deal, CowBOY?  Are you refusing to pay for lessons, is your wife refusing to take lessons,  or has the idea not occurred to either of you?  Please be responsive to the questions posed.  N.B.  "My wife is not my slave" is not an acceptable response.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Welcome to Burbuja's Believe It or Not!, posted by burbuja2 on Mar 22, 2004

[This message has been edited by utopiacowboy]

As I posted above, she was taking lessons but grammar is not the way to learn a language. And Medellin is definitely NOT the place to learn English. However it is a wonderful place to learn Spanish if you are more interested in developing your own lingusitic capabilities rather than policing everyone else's.