Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World? HUH?

[JimmySTLOUIS]

Ok maybe I am the one who doesnt get it?

BUT
There really seems to be some crazy stuff that goes on down there (Peru). Now dont get me wrong I love my girl in all,but boy I get the weirdest stories about stuff.

Its hard to explain what I am talking about because I get bits and peices of stories from her.
Her parents have been trying to buy the house they live in. I guess they gave the owner some money down and now they are trying to get the back to finance the rest. The bank has made so many "mistakes". One time they only thought there was one floor not two. Then the architect came and drew up some papers. Then he "did a mistake". Then someone else "did a mistake" and so on and so forth. This is endless. HUH?

The ATM card I sent her was eaten by the machine and $200 is MIA.
Her phone card had $4 left and then had nothing.
The car gets towed or stopped by the police and impounded often.
Her mother borrows money from one sister - now this sister needs money so this sister will give money to her mother to pay off a bank loan so that the mother can borrow more money to help the sister(HUH?)

These are only some of the stories that have me scratching my head. There are more but I dont claim to really understand the logic of these things.

Could everyone really be that messed up?
I see people waiting in lines for hours to do something? What could it be for to buy tickets for a Rolling Stones concert?

I know some of you are going to say that my girl is a scammer and drop her like a hot rock etc etc etc. This is not the case because some of these stories have no direct relation to us. I talk to her everyday for at least an hour and most of these stories are about others.

I am starting to get worried that she thinks all of this crazy stuff is the way things are supposed to be.

Here is another one. Her parents never have enough money. My girl is 18 and only goes to school a couple of hours a night. Ok so her aunt buys some used clothing in another city and they decide to sell it in front of my girls house (at a profit GOOD IDEA!). So instead of having my girl sit out there and sell the clothes they pay another girl to sit out there and sell it. HELLO??

Her family will sometimes ask me for advice. I tell them what they should do - they dont do what I say - things dont work out and then they ask me again what they should do - HUH?

Also my girls mother doesnt work too much at all because one time some man tried something funny with my girls little sister. Not she needs to stay around the house more. Well Ok but ......the grandmother lives down stairs, my girl is home almost all the time ............ok........HUH?

ALSO - what do people do all day in the house? I have always worked so I have no idea what people do with very little forms of entertainment , no money and just sit around?

I dont know - I just get some things - will I ever??

TE AMO PERU ANYWAY!!!!

jim

[denvermike]

... in response to Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World? HU..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Mar 24, 2004

Yep, dating Latin Women is a trip.  My advice is just enjoy the circus but don't take any of it too serious, until the lack of money becomes your problem (and it will).

I have never figured out, why other people's problems always cost me money?

You are only seeing the beginning of the craziness when you have large extended families. If logic and reason are important to you, maybe you should look elsewhere, it will never get any better. I am still looking for that good looking latin woman is who an orphan!!

Good luck,
mike

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to Re: Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World..., posted by denvermike on Mar 25, 2004

Oh thanks a lot Mike  - j/k

I think you might be right.

It does frustrate me at times and it really does get to me a little when their problems quickly become my problems.

Does it get any better if she moves up here ASAP? I can see it if I am down there too much, everytime someone has a problem (daily) I would be asked to get involved. I also wonder if lend and give mean the same thing in spanish?

Another problem is that I am a nice guy and I am used to dealing with professional solid upper middle class people. I also have a very small family.

I really like one pert of the extended family life down there. But I am starting not to like this part.

To be honest I dont even want to here some of these stories anymore. But I do love my girl .....hmmmm

TE AMO PERU!!!!

jim

[denvermike]

... in response to thanks , posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Mar 25, 2004

Living here in Chlle I have dated many different women over the last two years.  I have been coming to SA for about 14 years.  I don't think I will ever understand latin women (or latin men for that matter), and frankly I don't try anymore, or at least I don't worry about it anymore. When I see a totally crazy situation I just smile. let me give you my most recent example of "you have got to be kidding me".

About a month ago my brother and I went to south of Chile to meet the relatives of my latest girlfriend.  I thought she had organized everything well in advance.  Oh noooo.

We stopped by to visit her cousin in Los Lagos.  We were on the way to another place to stsy.  Well they decided that her cousin, her little girl and husband would go with us.  When we got to Choshuenco (sp?) the hotel she was to arrange was full with no reservations.  So we went to another place.  It was nice but a bit pricey.  Guess who had to pay for everything.  But I did't mind much, what the heck.

Well I was told the next morning good old Mauricio hsd to go back to Los Lagos to work.  So I had to drive him (two hours mind you) back to Los Logos.

Well about 11:00 that night we were all back in at our hotel, and my girlfriend told me they needed to borrow my truck to go find Mauricio.  I said well he is in Los Lagos? They said no, he was on the road back to our place.  I said what do you mean on the road? They said he was walking to Choshuenco.  I thought I must have misunderstood, nobody in their right mind would walk nearly 70 k at night.  I told them forget it.  The dirt roads at night are a real hazard in my opinion.  Of course they were ticked off, but no way in hell were they going to take my rental. They walked off in a huff, going to look for him.  They came back about 3am and no Mauricio.

The next morning on the way back to Los Lagos, guess who we found "on the road" and still walking, yep, Mauricio. He had walked non-stop for 60 k!!  To this day, I still can't believe it.  

So when the crazies hit, just smile but don't them take advantage of your kind nature, it will become a habit.  Remember you are the boss, and no need to apologize for it.

Oh, I love Peru also.

mike

[Red Clay]

... in response to Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World? HU..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Mar 24, 2004

I don't know about all this, Jimmy. Things in general are a litle crazier there, but mi Peruana never had nearly that much craziness in her life or family. Some of the stories sound like she's dropping hints about money, even if the story involves someone else.

With all due respect, her age has always concerned me and my wife too, incidentally.

Good luck and don't commit to forever just because you have alot of time invested in it already.

[Pete E]

... in response to Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World? HU..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Mar 24, 2004

Jimmy,
Well the only thing that seems to be a direct effect on you is the ATM and phone card thing.
I have never been to Peru but the story is common here in Colombia.There is a live for today,maybe even for the moment thing thats gets in the way of any sort of logic or planning.But then maybe our logic and planning gets in the way of our living for the moment.
Alot of businesses seem to operate on a very inneficient takes forever to get anything done basis.And they seem to like it that way.
Important things that effect your money you can try to change.But alot of it you just have to get used to or it will drive you crazy.
I will say that the 2 families I have been envolved with here are not as bad as these stories.They seem to do the best with what they have.

Pete

[DavidMN]

... in response to Re: Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World..., posted by Pete E on Mar 24, 2004

I'm staying clear of the whole Cali fray below, but as a general comment I have to chuckle when people say "she's 18 or 20 or 22 but more mature than American women her age." Yeah, right. She may have seen a lot of poverty, despair, corruption and the corrosive effects of violence and murder, but she's still only 18 or 20. Those early experiences may teach her to be hard or desensitized or to live for the moment, but they don't mean much in the more normal world you hope to bring her into.

Some people make blanket statements about American women being so terrible, but think about the 18 year old American female that travels several hours or several states to go to college, arranges housing, a curriculum, finances, transportation, bill paying, housekeeping, and studies and works parttime. In my book, that's a woman who's well on her way to maturity, and per capita, the U.S. has boatloads of them compared to Peru or Colombia or wherever. Maybe it's only when they're over 30 or 40, fat, ugly and thrice divorced that they all turn into man-eating bitc**s? ;-)

I've heard the stories and experienced a few myself along the lines of the missing $4 on the phone card, bank acct vs. no bank acct, no clue as to how to check into a hotel and review the bill for appropriate charges, etc. And in my case the woman was 30, not 18. The odds are long in this endeavor and they only get worse the wider the gap in age and life experience (education, income, travel...the whole nine yards).

Good luck,
David

[WS244]

... in response to Re: Re: Will I Ever Understand the 3rd W..., posted by DavidMN on Mar 25, 2004

davidmn and the third world
With all due respect, In your second paragraph, in what i perceive as the defence of american women, you described perfectly the problem with american women in general.  However you left out the minuses, some of which are, that in the last 30 years they have been taught to be independent of a man except for his income. (anyone in divorce court will find that out) they are smarter than you are, have more rights than you have, will get the employment for the job you were better qualified for, equal to you in the military, can get pregnant at anytime and anywhere, to bail out of anything with no reprocussions, and are in competition with a man at every level in life from the bedroom to the boardroom.  
 The nice thing about the latin women, is they are still brought up in a culture where the man is head of the household. (yes she runs the household, but he is still head) unlike women here who are head of the household, head of the house, and head of you.
With the rath of the liberated women on my back, i much prefer a woman i can work with, teach and help in the schooling of the gringo way of life, rather than a readily packaged american girl who knows what is best for herself, and best for me.  
It is the latin culture that counts, (almost the same as the culture in this country was 40 years ago) if one can appreciate that, understand the fact that one has to find a girl with the same values, (be smart enough to know if he is a graduate of harvard, and she out of grade school, there may be problems doen the road)he might be a happy happy camper with a latina.  
regards ws

[colgre]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Will I Ever Understand the 3..., posted by WS244 on Mar 25, 2004

[colgre]

... in response to Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World? HU..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Mar 24, 2004

Some of these stories sound real similar to a girl I was seeing from Barranquilla.

First she could take vacation when I was going to visit, then she couldn't. First she did have a bank account, then she did not. Then she said that when I called her house, it cost her money?!? There were many more wierd stories after that. After much prying (and a Colombiana translator on the phone) she finally leveled with me. "I am only interested in you as a friend".

I would really put her on the spot to tell the truth on these wierd stories. She may just be gullible too, however these sound like some serious red flags to me, especially when it comes to the money stories...

Good luck,
Greg

[Fuzzyone]

... in response to Will I Ever Understand the 3rd World? HU..., posted by JimmySTLOUIS on Mar 24, 2004

Well it is Peru... I really do not know alot about Colombia but I spent some
time in Peru and saw alot that just made me scratch my head. I could never
get a straight story out of my ex-wife. I had to ask her at least three or four
times before I could figure out what really happened. So you might as well get
use to it and try to fix the problem when she gets here... it is not all bad think
of it this way it will add a little humor every once in awhile.