Insights...my personal thoughts

[Pete]

I think when one is a dealt alot of bad blows, he has two choices...he can allow himself to wallow in it and become more and more bitter with each subsequent experience or he can gain a bit of enlightenment and learn from the experiences...learn more about themselves...learn the right questions to ask if it involves another. It's how we gain wisdom and insight.

We've all had our share of bad relationships...my last gf screwed me up so bad inside, I swore off dating for like 3 years...I had no more drive to even want to meet anyone....tired of dating...just didn't care anymore. I spent time working on my music, going out with friends, and just enjoying myself. A couple of my closest friends are 2nd gen filipinas and I would talk to them about their culture which I found kinda fascinating at the time. I'd sneak online and learn tagalog words and murder the pronunications cracking them up. I got more and more interested in the RP and eventually found myself wanting to talk to someone that actually lived there, which in turn led to my fiancée.

Maybe things worked so well because we just really started out as good friends and we'd blab on and on about differences in culture and all that...we were both generally interested in what the other had to say. We were friends but after awhile both started falling for eachother...the wall of apathy I had built up was slowly being pulled down brick by brick. She taught me to feel again. The thing is...we talked about EVERYthing...we talked about relationship issues, money...everything. Yes, we had our share of rough spots in the beginning but the thing is, we always talked about exactly what we were feeling...even if it hurt. Now, we're happier than ever and awaiting her visa.

When I look back at all the negative things that have occured in my life so far...yes, they really sucked at the time and I was miserable but when I put things in perspective, I think that all these experiences, good and bad, are what makes me "me!" And perhaps, if you want to take a religious angle on this, that God prepares us in different ways...perhaps we have to go through all these experiences to become who we are and get to where we are today. For me, I had to have that breaking point with my last gf where I stopped caring...then I met my filipina friend at work...then we became close....then I got interested in the culture...then I met my fiancee. Honestly, if you had asked me 3 yrs ago that I'd be getting married soon...I would've just laughed.

Just my thoughts...

Pete

[Zebson]

... in response to Insights...my personal thoughts, posted by Pete on Aug 17, 2001

Pete...that's just it man...We all have our own way of healing and moving on in these things...

Some people are telling me and just pushing me to move on, get over it.(easy for them to say)..Some are telling ya to let it die gradually. But when it comes right down to it each mans soul (or womans) they have a different way of healing inside both mentally, emotionally or however you want to qualify it..And for me life is a full package of awareness of my mental, emotional and spirtual sides. There has to be a balance and a clear understanding of relating of what one has gone through in order to really, truely heal...For me that means talking to friends and others about how I viewed what happened, how I felt, what it means etc. it means learning to forgive over time, in order to really get my head straight too. It means solitude, It means talking to God some...Yes that's the spiritual side of who I am...

Then again, another side of me wants to go up in the desert and blow off 500 or so rounds of 9mm from my (favorite gun) Browning High Power into a target, while smoking a nice cigar and drinking a couple Samual Adams. Every man has his own ways of dealing with these things and blowing off steam now and then...The heart is a powerful side of us...For me I will have moments of anger, meloncholy, sarcasim and questions I become a little more jaded and that leaves its marks...There are scars either way...but we move on, we become stronger and lord willing, we become better human beings that learn more about what love is in the end...There are no easy answers to the perfect way to overcome the pains...your right...time is often the biggest and best healer of all...And we can be thankful we are even allowed to see another sunset with and or find that true love by our side when we do look back at how far we've be allowed to live in this life....

Zeb...

[Howard]

... in response to To each mans heart, their own way...., posted by Zebson on Aug 18, 2001

Z,

Good to see ya back!  I have run the gambit(sp?) as well in my life and the cycle for me is similar.  The best way I blow off steam is to write songs, ingest ridiculous amounts of Jack Daniels, crank my amp up to 6 or 7 and take it out on my guitar :c)  Over the years many have asked me how I play like I do. I tell them they'd never understand unless they've lived my life! :c)  Usually I laugh to keep from crying.

I'm glad you're back, if you need to talk or anything, please feel free to get in touch with me!

Keep the Faith

H