Update from Cali

[Pete E]

For almost a month I spent more time with gringos than Calenas.Most everyone has returned now but a couple of guys are still here I think.
Hopefully I will get this apartment I have been working on this week.If not I will forget them and move on.It is a deal,just what I want and several hundred thousand pesos less than anything comparable I have seen.
My ex said she "rented a room" to a guy.From her description I recognised him as a guy who has been pursuing her.Even though I knew that would happen it hit me a little harder than expected.There was one pretty sleepless night,but also curtousy of a late party(untill 4 AM) at my hotel.By 6 AM I pretty much came to terms with it.I was having weird dreams,one had 4 different guys in my house.I guess I have to admit I still love her although I wish I did not and I definetly need to forget her. I have been no saint here so I can't really complain.It just hit me harder than I thought it would.
I have dated a number of women but no real hits.One girl I had a second date with but it was not as promising as the first.
I decided if I don't want to be working off the bottom of the barrel here I need to do some things to improve my appearance.
I shaved my beard off.I had had it for 29 years and was a little shocked to see my face again.Also I am taking Prednesone for my ulcerative colitis and it makes your face swell.I am down from 40 mg a day to 4mg and will be off in a month,so hopefully the swelling will go down.In the meantime I am growing the beard back.Worse than a beard is a half stuble beard and I don't feel real attractive right now.Latinas really don't care for beards much.
I am going to see a plastic surgeon this week to perhaps fix a few things so I will feel comfortable without the beard.At least its cheap here.Perception and also self perception is very important.
I think great improvement in terms of latina perception could be made here.
Second,perhaps at the same time or later,some liposuction.I lost 12 lbs being here but need to lose another 10 or so.Perhaps I should do that before the lipo,I will ask about it.
2 other big things but not as drastic.I do need to speak spanish.I have made little progress since being here,hanging out with english speakers pretty much.It is important and wouldn't be that hard to get up to basic conversation level I don't think.
AND,I need to learn to dance salsa and the other dances here.This will be the easiest I think of things I need to do.I went to a party where it was almost all spanish music.I tried it.It seems to me if you can get the rather simple foot steps down the whole rythum of it would kind of come together.
Next I need to just work out alot more.Its been tough around here because many of the gyms just shut down over the holidays.When I get my apartment I will buy the basic weights and bench I need,then I don't have to take a taxi to a gym just to find out they are closed.
I will be 61 in 67 days.I hope to have improved my appearance greatly by then.I intend to post a picture if I am as successfull as I intend.Even now I get judged as 40(yes one insisted) to 50 by the chicas but they are not crazy at all about the beard I think.
They other thing that haunts me a little about this is If I had done it before it might have made enough difference with my wife for her to still want me around.I think appearance was a big part of it.But - - again I am better off forgetting that one,I don't think there is any way it could have been what I really wanted in a marriage.
And thanks to so many people who have helped me greatly in my transition.I have some friends I am really lucky to have.

Pete

[colgre]

... in response to Update from Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 11, 2004

Save some beer for me... I am just now getting caught up on things back home. Am planning on returning around mid May.

Hasta pronto!
Greg

[Pete E]

... in response to Hola Pedro..., posted by colgre on Jan 13, 2004

Greg,
No need to save beer,they have plenty here.Several people enjoyed the story of your last day here.I'm still in 102,its a little lonely so I better get busy after the latinas.
OK,your personal opinion,beard or no beard,you saw both.
I'll be back up your way by some time in June.

Pete

[colgre]

... in response to Re: Hola Pedro..., posted by Pete E on Jan 13, 2004

Lose the beard... Every single Caleña that saw you afterwards gave you a compliment...

I am glad my last day provided so much entertainment

Call me when you get back in June.

Greg

[denvermike]

... in response to Update from Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 11, 2004

Hi Pete

Yeah, I agree with you latinas in fact most women don´t like beards, you are better off to get rid of it in my opinion.  They make you look older especially if it starts turning grey.  I lost my beard about two years ago.

There is no doubt, the latinas will judge you on your looks they do everybody else.  If lose the beard and some weight and dress kind of sharp, you will find the ladies much more interested.

But once you live in the land of senoritas, you need not be in any hurry to pick just one anyway.  Date lots of them and you might just find the right one.  Be cautious there are lots of other kind.  It takes time to determine if they are for real or not.

As far as you ex in the States, of course it hurts, it is supposed to hurt.  If it didn´t hurt you weren´t in the relationship for the right reason.

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Update from Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 11, 2004

Pete

I feel for you. You and i disscused things by email and i am in the same situation.My wife is now back togeter with the father of her son, the narcotics trafiker. Everytime i get depressed about how she has used me and abused my honesty, i just think about how she always told me that being a narco trafiker, was a decent and respectful job and she sees nothing wrong with it.Well, that usually snaps me back to reality and why in the world would i want a woman who thinks like that anywhere near my 7 year old daughter.

He morals are in the gutter and i can do better then a woman like her.

I will be in Cali in march Pete and hope we can have a beer together. Save some women for me my friend and keep your chin high because i can tell you that that in the end, it is the decent,honest and sincere men that will get the prize !!!!

Andy

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Update from Cali, posted by Kiltboy1 on Jan 12, 2004

Thanks Andy,
See you in March.

Pete

[Calipro]

... in response to Update from Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 11, 2004

I'll be back down in Cali in March. Also I think I have finally talked my dad into traveling to Cali. I think I'll bring him down when I'm in Cali this summer. If he likes it as much as I hope he will, he can move there.

He easily gets enough from his retirement to qualify for a retirement visa but I'm not quite sure how to go about getting one for him. Anyway he is 63 and in pretty good shape. He sure does like latin women and to party. So I think you guys would get along great.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Hang in there Pete., posted by Calipro on Jan 12, 2004

He can apply for it at the Colombian embassy nearest to where you live and probobly all by mail. He'll be applying for a Temporal TS Pensionado visa. It's easy so long as the consulate doesn't screw up anything as they did with me.

[Cali James]

... in response to Re: Hang in there Pete., posted by Cali vet on Jan 12, 2004

Hey CV,

For the pension VISA, do you remember what the minimum income or asset requirement was?

James

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Hang in there Pete., posted by Cali James on Jan 12, 2004

I think it was kind of high, something like $1500 a month. Here's the link for the Ministerio de Relaciones Extranjeras:

http://www.minrelext.gov.co/

[Zorrowins]

... in response to Update from Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 11, 2004

Pete,
I appreciate and enjoy your candor! I also personally agree that if you can enchance your looks which will increase your self esteem, go for it! But I would cousel you to go slow and give yourself some time before you do anything drastic(permanent). You are definately on the rebound. Your pride and self esteem has been severly damaged! Only time will heal those things. A case in point- remember when you were is San Diego and you stated everything would be great once you got to Colombia? Are you telling yourself now, everything will be great once I get liposuction and plastic surgery? Again-You've been hurt big time-give yourself some time before you do anything major!

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Update from Cali, posted by Zorrowins on Jan 11, 2004

Well things are better in Colombia,and even the thing with my ex wife is easier to take not being there.I guess I'm just speculating,prtobably accurately,why its not better than it is.
But sometimes it just has to happen.Some of the guys I have seen with young babes definetly tell me its not looks,so maybe I am overeacting.

Pete

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re: Re: Update from Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 12, 2004

Yo Petey, I mean Pete E.  You need to worry less about the liposuction and more about taking Spanish lessons.  If you'll forgive my directness, you're wasting valuable time.  Quite clearly, the ability to verbally communicate will help you obtain and retain the chica of your suenos, not to mention making life easier overall.  You know what you need to do - now do it!

[Pete E]

... in response to Winners Make It Happen ... Losers Let It..., posted by burbuja2 on Jan 12, 2004

Your probably right,spanish could be the most valuable of the considered improvements.
I just feel stuck in between appearance wise with this stuble beard that is probably less attractive than a full one to chicas,and the full one is bad enough to them I think.But I don't like the way I looked without it.
One thing you are definetly right about,making it happen.
Thanks

Pete