Well I called my little sweetie today.

[Calipro]

First I called her cell phone but it was off. So I called her mother's house and she answered the phone.

I ask her what's new. Nothing good that's for sure. As it turns out her mother's house was burglerized. They came in though the roof and tore it up pretty bad. She puts her mother on the phone so she can tell me how terrible it was and how upset she is. (Yawn!). Honestly I don't know why any body would rob a house as bad as the one her mother lives in. It is the worst house in Cali I have ever been in.  The roof is only a sheet of fiberglass with some tar over it. and the interior is the pits. I bet if you sold ever thing in the house you wouldn't have a hundred dollars the dining room set is nothing but a plastic table and plastic chairs. The TV is an old 13" black and white that has a bad picture. The only thing missing in the house was her brothers clothes. He never struck me as a sharp dresser but maybe the thief was his size, unfortune for him.

Anyway her her little three year old has the flu and she is going to take him to the doctor. I could hear the little tike crying (cough, cough!!). I guess I am supposed to feel sorry but I don't. I must be a cold hard calous individual. I don't want her to suffer but I do want her to wise up and stop making everybody elses problems her own. I want her to suffer to the point that self preservation kicks in. So after all the sob stories I tell her exactly what she should have already known. She will get $150 on the 26th of Jan. No more no less.

After a lot of I love yous and how much she misses me which I never recipocate we end the conversation. I do care for her I just don't love her.

Anyway the point of the story is this. Can you teach a colombiana to kick herself in the ass for paying all her mothers back utility bills and not having enough money for some medicine for her own child? I doubt it but I am going to give it a hell of a try.

[DavidMN]

... in response to Well I called my little sweetie today., posted by Calipro on Jan 5, 2004

Sad story. Even sadder to read about the poor-on-poor crime.

Switching gears somewhat, and I've probably missed a few of your posts about this woman, but I don't believe she's a top marriage prospect right now? If that's the case, does some of the reason have to do with her background and experiences being so divergent from your own?

The reason I ask, is because after applying for and receiving a K-1, I never went forward with it. Even though the woman was close in age, had a college education (law), good family and all that...I could never get beyond the notion that I was going to turn into a Professor Higgins to her Eliza Doolittle. And Doolittle has an unintended, but accurate, double meaning here.

I was prepared and excited about her coming here, helping her get adjusted, welcoming her to my family, etc. But a 32 year old woman who's never worked, never traveled, never lived independently or volunteered just to occupy her time...just wasn't that interesting anymore. She wasn't upper class, but the family could afford maids/cooks for three days a week. I never understood what she did with her abundance of leisure time...

A different example than yours, I realize, but the dissimilar backgrounds might be an obstacle in both cases.

-David

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Way different backgrounds..., posted by DavidMN on Jan 5, 2004

[This message has been edited by Calipro]

You are right she isn't a contender for marriage right now. Her background and experiences don't have anything to do with our relationship because she really has not begun to live her life.

None of her things were stolen because none of her things were in her mother's house at the time. They were in a small apartment I rented and it is like fort Knox.

There is no way I can change the values and beliefs that this girl has already so that she can change her life. I have already given her some hope and I just pray that by the time I return to Cali in March she will just listen to me and follow my directions. If she just does what I tell her to do she will be 100 times better off.

First thing she has to do is forget her pathetic family situation. She thinks she owes her mother and her brother something and she doesn't. She owes her child something and that is it. She needs to go to school and at least graduate from high school. It took me hours just to teach her how to send me an e-mail and she still doesn't know how to type.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Well I called my little sweetie today., posted by Calipro on Jan 5, 2004

I'd say your self-description is accurate. Maybe you could post some pics of her house.

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Well I called my little sweetie toda..., posted by Red Clay on Jan 5, 2004

Why would I post pictures of her mother's house? So you can feel better about yours??

Why don't you just watch the Jerry Springer show instead.

Anyway you can only ever help people that want to help THEMSELVES!! not the rest of the world.

There is no way I could ever feel sorry for a forty some year old mother that takes money from her 20 year old daughter that has a three year old son to take care of  and no job. Doesn't she realize she is pushing her out in the street!!

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: Well I called my little sweetie ..., posted by Calipro on Jan 5, 2004

In case you hadn't noticed, there's this place called Latin America where families stay closer and help each other. My wife "gives money" to her Mother; probably so do all the wives married to guys on this board.

Ahh, why bother...

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Well I called my little swee..., posted by Red Clay on Jan 6, 2004

This girl is in no postion to help anybody including her mother. Her mother should be helping her not the other way around. Her mother has failed her in every way that I can see and she shouldn't be guilt tripping her into paying the utilities especially when she doesn't live there anymore.

I remember I gave my first caleña wife some money before we got married and she went out and bought food for the household because her father was doing his thing and hadn't been home in weeks. Her mother cried. She didn't know I would marry her daugther one day. Why did she cry? Because she knows where young girls get money when they don't have a job. Appearantly some mothers don't care!!

[burbuja2]

... in response to Well I called my little sweetie today., posted by Calipro on Jan 5, 2004

You are a MAN worthy of respect.