Novia asks for money

[elcolombiano]

I am picking up my novia in Cali in early March to bring to the states (she already has a tourist VISA).

I asked her to take care of all her personal stuff to do before she leaves. She stated she needs to go to the GP doctor,gynoclogist,dentist,opthamalgist and purchase anti inflamatory drugs and anti cyst drugs. She has to go to Bogota to change licence plates on her car and needs airfare. She has to have her car painted 630000 pesos(prior to leaving for consignment for sale). She has a herniated disc in her back and the orthopedist ordered 20 sesions of physical therapy. She also wants to have masages done to narrow her waist as she claims she is getting fat.

I called her and aked her how much money do you need total and she said $200-300 but $150 would be ok too. I know a lot of you guys send money to your girlfreinds in Colombia. What do you think of this?

[H2Oh]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

You need another novia. You're getting taken. Dump her and move on. If you don't believe me........ post your unhappy experience with her on the board in a year. OH, you'll be many thousands of dollars lighter in the wallet if you wait.

H2-Oh

[jim c]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

It sounds to me like she would like some help but dosn't want you to pay for everything. You asked her how  much she would need and she was not definite " $150.00 would be fine"  according to your post.  Try to understand Colombian men do not get a free ride either. The women expect you to take care of them, but it is rude to ask. You have to ( and are expected to) offer to buy things for them. They are not independant like AW's. They will not reject money or presents just because they can afford to take care of themselves. You have to be attentive, some americans are fameous for being Tocano (cheap) just because they don't understand.  If its dutch treat you haven't got a chance, its her way of saying she is not for you  JIMC

[Hiker]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

El, I think if you consider her your girlfriend that you discuss this with her.  Tell her that you are just being careful and you want to understand.  I think you trust her or you don't.  A bunch of guys on here can't possibly know if she is trying to scam you.  Many times it is nothing more than looking at things in a different way.  She might be serious in her intentions and then again maybe not.  

I paid for monthly medical care for a girls grandmother for a few months, just to find out that her grandmother had been dead for years.  I was scammed.  After that I was so parinoid of being scammed again that I was too ready to assume the worst.  

It is good to be careful but don't assume the worst either.

[Aaron]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

[This message has been edited by Aaron]

At the exchange rate of 2500 pesos to the dollar, the 630000 pesos for her painting her car comes to about $252.00 USD.

Then add all the other expenses. I bet in total, she'll have to pay around $1000.00 USD or more for all that she needs. This is still cheap for US standards, but it sounds too fishy.

I think she is just trying to get a feel for what you are willing to give her, and she asked for less money because she thought she could get it out of you.

Then, she'll ask for more along the way. And you'll give it to her. And if you bring her here, she want more money.

I don't see anything wrong with giving a girl that you have met in person a little money as a gift. But, when they throw hints and consistently ask for money, then that's a red flag. I gave a girl money in the past as a gift. She said thanks, and never asked for another red cent after that. We are still in touch. And I don't think she is interested in me just for the money because she doesn't ask for any.

On the other hand, I had a date with a beautiful Calena during December, 2002. I met her before. We went out and had a nice time. However, at the end of the date, when I was going to give her 10,000 pesos for her cab fare back home, SHE ASKED FOR ME TO GIVE HER 20,000.

I paid for her cab to show up, that was 10,000. I paid for our night out, that was 45,000. Then, at the end, instead of taking the 10,000 pesos to return home, she asked for 20,000 pesos. If fact, she skillfully pulled it out of my hand before I could even say NO.

THAT WAS A RED FLAG AND A HALF !!!!!!!! It shows that she was thinking that I had ENOUGH MONEY, and that she could tap into it to get an extra 10,000. And I didn't like how she went about it.

Aaron

[Pete E]

... in response to Do the math......, posted by Aaron on Feb 13, 2003

Aaron,
Yeah it sounds like she didn't do the math and will ask for the rest of it when she figures it out.
But the real question is is she serious about coming here to live with her novia?If so its small money.If she is just getting money and not intending to come than any amount is too much.Our friend here needs to assess(sp?fruedian slip?) that and decide.Of course our decision making process becomes  proportionally impaired relative to the beauty of the woman.
At least she has a tourist visa.He doesn't have the hassle and cost of the fiancee visa or the commitment of marriage.It could be a cheap test drive if he ever gets her out of the parking lot.I know,thats crude.Sorry.I couldn't help myself.

Pete

[elcolombiano]

... in response to Re: Do the math......, posted by Pete E on Feb 13, 2003

Your advice is what I am thinking. I will send her some money and pick her up in March. If it does not work out I will send her back to Colombia. At least I did not have to Marry her or pay for a VISA.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Do the math......, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 14, 2003

Or sign an affidavid of support.Sounds like a plan to me.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Do the math......, posted by Pete E on Feb 14, 2003

If it doesn't work after the 90 day,or in your case as long as you want test drive,you can always tell her "thanks its been fun,but I am really looking for a newer model with higher performance and lower maintenance".Just watch out you don't get Bobbitized.
It really is to the guys advantage
to get a trial period if the girl will go for it.Not just to test the relationship but her response to where and how you live.

Pete

[Andean Condor]

... in response to Test drive results, posted by Pete E on Feb 14, 2003

LoL...
A trial period, huh?  

You can get this here beee-u-tiful latina chica for only 3 easy payment of $150!  If you are at all unsatisfied, return the chica and we will send you a new one... free of charge!

he he he

[Pete E]

... in response to Trial Period, posted by Andean Condor on Feb 14, 2003

If you are extremely lucky like our friend and find a woman with a tourist visa you might get off for a few thousand dollars for your test drive.You will have to pay air fare and expenses at least.
But usually you will have to do a fiance visa,which would limit the unending test drive option.How many women will they let you sponsor on a fiance visa?Perhaps more than you want to.Each could just stay and not go back.You could be on the hook for support for more women than you would like.
So if sexual adventure is the idea,better to just travel to a place of inexpensive availability like Colombia and pay up.It will be cheaper in the long run.
Reminds me of the saying "if it flys,floats or f--ks,you are better off renting it."
Your post brings a vision to mind off a guy eagerly opening a big box and out pops a hot latina.(Close but not quite)
Of course this does not address love ,should you seek it and be so lucky as to find it.I like to joke here but that is really what most of us are seeking I think.

Pete

[Aaron]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

Why did she stop with the list? I think she should include brain surgery, and maybe the possibility of paying off the funeral for her great great great grandmother.

LOL!!!!!

[Stephen]

... in response to Dude, she's running scams.................., posted by Aaron on Feb 12, 2003

.....

[Georgina]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

You should be grateful she is even asking you for the money. Ha! Of course I am being sarcastic. I will be careful with this one.

[Pete E]

... in response to Novia asks for money, posted by elcolombiano on Feb 12, 2003

For sure get those medical things done while she is still in Colombia,much,much cheaper there.
As far as the car painting,she should pay you back when it sells.
Waist messages?I think thats nonsence,doesn't work.Anybody know about this?
Bottom line,it's not alot of money.If the relationship is good and she really is coming here,I would say do it.Where guys get in trouble is sending money to girls who are not serious about them.

Pete