I need help!!!

[Bear]

I am worried.  I think Honey did something but I can't put my finger on it.

See, I used to look around and see beautiful females everywhere.  Yeah I know I was married and I shouldn't be looking but I couldn't help to notice the fairer sex.  It seemed to me to be literally thousands everywhere.

Then I met Honey.  And now all those pretty girls are gone.  I didn't notice it at first but I have lately.  I just don't see any pretty girls anymore.  Oh, there are a few that are "okay" ones but nothing to write home about.  Even some of the ones I used to think were pretty are almost homely now!!!?

At first I didn't know what happened and was surprised and shocked that they disappeared or changed so suddenly.  I thought maybe it was just the situations with the presidential race or the bad weather here maybe even the pressure of the ecomnomy?  But still, after months, none anywhere?!  So I started to worry about Honey.  Maybe she would disappear too?  

Then I realized that since I met her thats when they all disappeared!!!?  She did something!!!  I don't know what but I know she did!!!  I don't know what to do and I have no proof of anything.  But should I worry?  I mean suddenly I have the cutest, prettiest , most lovely , gorgeous and beautiful woman in the world as my wife.  

Sorry guys but if I knew what to do I would.  I've talked to her about it but she denies everything!!!  What ever you do don't make her mad!!!  If she can do this when she's happy I don't want to know what she can do when she mad!!!

Bear

[humabdos]

... in response to I need help!!!, posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2001

is she from siquijor?       ;-)

[Bear]

... in response to Re: I need help!!!, posted by humabdos on Jul 5, 2001

nt

[humabdos]

... in response to No.  Heaven................n/t, posted by Bear on Jul 5, 2001

Did you ever wonder if Gods plan was for you to support honey's family and friends and the rest of the barrio?  Just kidding Bear ;-)  I bet you will treat her like a goddess.   I frankly I would too.!   LOL Humabdos

[Bear]

... in response to Re: No.  Heaven.........   You crack me ..., posted by humabdos on Jul 5, 2001

is easy.  I just do my best to let her know how I feel to keep her spirits up.  

Seeing the family she was given it really takes a lot to keep her spirits up.  It is just beyond my belief that such a wonderful person can have a family that treats he so bad.  And the worst part is sometimes she believes they are right!!!  She knows she needs to do the right things and with a little nudging she does very well but then she gets punished for it instead of praise!!?  

Right now I am encouraging her to get this worked out before she comes here.  If it isn't I will not be so apt to help and she will always regret the way her family treated her.  I think a marriage dosen't need those sort of hassles to contend with at the start.  I told her to tell her family that it wasn't me giving them those things but her and she does so only because I allow it.  But if they do not change their attitude.......screeeeeaaaaacch. (For those of you from Loma Linda thats the brakes getting locked down on the money.)  Honey will not work when she get here unless "our" family needs it and I actually make pretty good money.  She's going to be a full time mother and a homeschooler and we all know that thats a 24/7 job; then on top of that she has to deal with me and and I make 24/7 look like lots of time off.  So if they think she will come here and be a slave for their laziness then they have a rude awakening coming.

My attitude has always been firm.  I'll help anyone who is willing to help themselves, and proudly so.  But if you won't help yourself then starve to death for all I care.  And I can quote that out of the Bible.  And if they can't show appreciation, then by the second "slap in the face" they won't be able to drag it out of me.  And treaating my wife badly is more than a "slap in the face to me".

Bear

[Ray]

... in response to Treating her well..., posted by Bear on Jul 5, 2001

Bear,

Was that “Loma Linda” or “Rio Linda”? LOL!

I think you are possibly headed for trouble with this in-law thing. It almost sounds like your poor wife is going to be stuck in the middle of a feud between her husband and her family back home. I don’t blame you for despising leaches, but I would be Very careful here, for the sake of peace in your home. If you make a stand and put her on the spot, where she has to choose between you and her family, don’t be surprised if things don’t entirely go your way.

My advice would be to reach a compromise that you both can live with. If you don’t want her to work and you put too many strings on how she can help her family back home, then she may feel that she is in a position where she needs to sneak behind your back to send money home. This is not good for a peaceful family environment in your home.

I think the new guys contemplating marriage to a Filipina need to understand that they are not just marrying a woman, but they are marrying into a family that is a probably the most important part of her life. In many traditional Filipino families, the sons and daughters are expected to share their wealth and good fortune with other family members. It may not be what we expect or want, but for them it is a fact of life. So don’t expect them to give up all their cultural beliefs and conform to your way of thinking on the important matter of helping family back home. I always try to stress the importance of getting to know key family members of your fiancée before you commit to marriage. If you can’t stand her family, for whatever reason, then don’t marry her, unless you like to live dangerously.

There are many different ways that you and your wife can help her family. I know this has been discussed here before, but it would probably be a good idea bring the topic up again because of its importance.

Ray

[tito]

... in response to Warning Signs, posted by Ray on Jul 6, 2001

tt

[Stephen]

... in response to Warning Signs, posted by Ray on Jul 6, 2001

asdf

[William]

... in response to I need help!!!, posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2001

Is she a good witch or a bad witch???

[Bear]

... in response to Re: I need help!!!, posted by William on Jul 5, 2001

nt

[jim in the pis]

... in response to I need help!!!, posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2001

is just a few hundred dollars and 30 hours away, get going!
jjj

[Bear]

... in response to Re: I need help!!! your answer to your p..., posted by jim in the pis on Jul 4, 2001

Well actually we are discussing it right now.  I am very near quitting my job and going back.  I guess i am waiting for someone to push the right button at work.

Bear

[Carrisse]

... in response to I need help!!!, posted by Bear on Jul 4, 2001

YOU ARE SOOOO IN LOVE!!

[Bear]

... in response to Bear, its all clear to us, posted by Carrisse on Jul 4, 2001

nt