"I'll pay you 10 K to marry me" , she said...

[deatchef]

That's what she said,..  some opinions, and advice here men.
I have a buddy who is also seeking love internationally and stumbled across it right here in USA. He met a 20 year old girl from Ukraine about 3 months ago. She seems sweet and is very wet behind the ears. (Doesn't EVER drink, never smoked and is DEFINATELY  a virgin; not that there's anything wrong with that. He hasn't even gotten a kiss. It's more like they are good friends, but he senses interest. (Off subject, but just painting a picture here.).
He has been "dating" her since they met. One week ago she informed him of the problems she was having getting her student visa and that her work visa will expire soon. Then she asked how he would feel if she considered marrying a man to get into the USA. She explained to him that a friend informed her of an interested party. Someone who would be willing to marry her for a sum of money (10k).
She told him how much she wanted to stay here and decided that this was the route she wanted to take, although she would feel much more comfortable marrying my friend because she knows him "very well".
My buddy is having a hard time with this because he wants to help her out as a friend, but is uncomfortable marrying someone he is not in love with. (and he's not.) Also ITS ILLEGAL!. I mean, chances are they would never get busted because, hey, let's face it, many people meet and get married less than 6 months later. So that doesnt seem to be a problem. It's not about the money, he probably wouldn't even accept it. It's more of a morality issue with him.
Keep in mind that she is not deceiving him in any way. She has never led him to believe that she loves and wants to marry him (just to get a card and later divorce). She is being up front and honest about it.
She's willing to marry any Joe for it, but is very naive and nervous and new to the country and doesn't want to get taken advantage of by a man she does not know.
What should my friend (Bob) do? Thanks..  

[Jersey Mike]

... in response to "I'll pay you 10 K to marry me"..., posted by deatchef on Jan 31, 2003

Having been married to an FSU woman for the past few years (a legitimate marriage, I will add), I have seen at least 8 "pay for green card" marriages among my wife's friends.  (I met my wife over 3 years ago while she was visiting the US on a tourist visa, and she was living with about 12 girls in 3 apartments in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, NY at the time.)   Amazingly, the INS process seems to have gone smoother for some of them than ours has to date.

In the NYC area there is a thriving business among brokers who will find a husband for a woman seeking a green card.  I have heard that the going market rate is generally around $15,000, with 50% up front and 50% upon issuance of the permanent green card.  I have yet to hear that the INS rejected any of these "marriages", even though the couples were obviously mismatched.  For instance, one of her friends was a rather unattractive, overweight girl, and she "married" a very good looking guy - who quite openly and unabashedly preferred men by his talk and mannerisms.  Go figure.

[deatchef]

... in response to Re: "I'll pay you 10 K to marry me&..., posted by Jersey Mike on Feb 3, 2003

Mike. e-mail me please...
deatchef@hotmail.com

[Pete E]

... in response to "I'll pay you 10 K to marry me"..., posted by deatchef on Jan 31, 2003

It sounds like he would like to be involved with her and she doesn't.That could be a real mess.Do it for love or do it for money but don't confuse the 2(and think if its worth it for the money).
I know of someone who did this.It was for $6000.My wife asked how much is $6000?I said its 600 cases of Budweiser or 300 cases of Corona(being a little judgemental about the guy).
Now they are having a real relationship.Funny deal.I thought it was stupid at first but for her it was a way,otherwise she could be hasta la vista any time.Even though I know we need laws but I always sympathise with the individual.They just want what we had enough dumb luck to be born in to.

Pete

[deatchef]

... in response to Re: "I'll pay you 10 K to marry me&..., posted by Pete E on Jan 31, 2003

Actually, i truly think he only likes her as a friend, but i agree with your point about not mixing the two (feelings and the business deal). I personally would not do this...

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to "I'll pay you 10 K to marry me"..., posted by deatchef on Jan 31, 2003

[This message has been edited by DallasSteve2]

If I was single, it would not be worth 10K to risk going to prison.  Also, if they don't pay the 10K after he marries he's got no paddle, because courts won't enforce contracts to do something illegal.

Your friend would be taking a big risk here.  If someone says something to somebody, someone else with a grudge could tell it to the authorities.  If they find out, they're likely to cut a deal with the woman and the man goes to jail.  That's what usually happens.

Remember, if two people know a secret, it's no longer a secret.

Steve

[deatchef]

... in response to Risky business, posted by DallasSteve2 on Jan 31, 2003

"if two people know a secret it is no longer a secret"...

very true! Thanks for your response

[anzo]

... in response to "I'll pay you 10 K to marry me"..., posted by deatchef on Jan 31, 2003

hoo boy, sounds a bit familiar. Of course, we all know what common sense answer is. Just not that easy. Mixed emotions of compassion, her vulnerability, protectiveness, time constraints, plus whatever actual interest there is make quite a little cocktail. From my experience, having married a Rooski under not-too-dissimilar circumstances (for 7 yrs!), and knowing many others, these girls tend to bond rather quickly. So your friend may find himself in a real relationship not long after getting hitched. Would they share the same bed? Would they be free to date others? A real minefield. Wouldn't be boring. But if your friend has a sense of adventure and protects himself financially (pre-nup, no joint credit, etc), he could learn alot about himself. Hey, marry a exotic girl from Ukraine, and theoretically be free in a couple of years! I would just be prepared for the marriage to become real. And the commitment on his part to the endless trips to the INS, and other stuff needed to get her legal. Would he still do all that if they did not get along well? I wouldn't go out and spend the 10k yet-where would that come from? If she is going to run around and not come home,etc, then 100k wouldn't be enough (been there, too).

Anzo

[deatchef]

... in response to let the adventure begin..., posted by anzo on Jan 31, 2003

endless trips to the ins... I would think that alone would be a deterent, but there is so much more. alot of risk with the law and a big chance that there friendship would end..
IMO