A day in the life

[Jimbo]

Hello everyone,

Tonight, at dinner, Sally and I had a discussion over a parking ticket, and we just couldn't come to an agreement on the issue.  We are, of course, in no danger of breaking up over this )  But I told her I'd put the question to the board just to see where people came down on it.

I got this ticket last week while driving her car.  It was $20, and I considered it a trivial matter so I threw it in with the other bills, not mentioning it to her.  She saw the ticket tonight and insists that I should have told her about it.  She says I was keeping a secret from her, and I should have 'shared' the information.  She even hinted that it was disrespectful to not let her know about it.

To me, I tried to explain, it was just a silly parking ticket, and unimportant.  But Sally doesn't see it that way.  Who agrees with her?  Who agrees with me?

Jim ---a night out for lobster and steamers is riding on this!

[Windmill Boy]

... in response to A day in the life, posted by Jimbo on Jul 5, 2001

Jimbo

It looks like you are going to take Sally out to Legal Seafood  or to Kelleys on the north shore.  No matter what you say you've been caught and you won't win this one.

Being a Bachelor in need of domestication I am used to doing my own thing and fending for myself  so I wouldn't think twice about taking care of it myself.

However from Sally's point of view  she is being kept out of the loop by not knowing about this ticket.  How would you feel if she got the ticket and just put it on the bill pile and said nothing.  You might not be upset about it but you probably would discuss the circumstances of it to some degree.  

Having lived in the Boston area  I know that parking tickets are a fact of everyday life and are common place not to menton expensive.  But then again, you've also seen them park up to 3 deep on the sides of streets.

To me the determining factor is who takes care of the money managing in your house hold and how it it done.  If Sally pays the bills or you have a joint account she definately should know about it.  If you were going to pay for it out of youre own personal Slush fund okay then you bite the bullet  pay it and forgo going to McDonalds for 3 or 4 times instead.

Thanks for illustrating a problem I will get to face if and when my bachelor days are over.  Sharing trivial information, What information do you share? and how much is too much?

Have a wicked pissah time together though!

Windmill Boy

------------------------------------------------------------
A DAY IN THE LIFE
------------------------------------------------------------

I read the news today oh boy
about a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph

He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that he lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
they'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the House of Lords

I saw a film today oh boy
The English army had just won the war
a crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book

I'd love to turn you on

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb accross my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
and looking up I noticed I was late
Found my Coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in Seconds Flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Someone spoke and I went into a dream

I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall

I'd love to turn you on

John Lennon & Paul McCartney

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: A day in the life, posted by Windmill Boy on Jul 6, 2001

However, WB, I'll take her to Gloucester/Rockport or York Beach, Maine for the lobster.  We like those 'Lobster in the Ruff' places with picnic tables just steps from the rocks and surf.

There's one in Rockport called "The Lobster Pool."  They will call you first for the steamers and hold off on the lobster for ten minutes.  That way, after the steamers have all slid down drenched in butter, the lobster arrives piping hot, with hot butter and hot french fries too.  My Sally loves it so much, she eats the WHOLE lobster! LOL!

Jim

[Jeff S]

... in response to A day in the life, posted by Jimbo on Jul 5, 2001

Lots of things were stressful when we were newlyweds and my wife took almost everything seriously. I'm more like you - not in the sense that I was trying to hide anything from her, just that, like you in this case, lots of these minor details really didn't matter to me. I continued to be myself and complied with her wishes but would smile and shrug when she wanted to discuss it in detail. She's gotten used to me now, and even has come to appreciate that I'm not interested in monor trivia but the big picture. She has come to know that it's up to her to handle the details. I also have a philosophy that's incomprehensible to most women, including my wife. It's that I'm more interested in how to set something right and continue on than I am in gnashing my teeth and going over and over how the situation got that way and chewing on all the bad things that can possibly come of it. I just apply corrective action and face the next challenge. This applies to my business as well as personal life. Again, when we were just married for a year or two this used to bother my wife but again she's come to appreciate that I am able to, according to her, "be above it." Note I'm not saying I wear a "don't worry, be happy" grin while the world collapses around us, I just do what I can to correct the situation the best I'm able and don't stress about the small stuff.

So my advice is to smile and shrug, and promise to tell her if you get another parking ticket, tell her you love her and buy her that lobster dinner - BUT DON'T CHANGE! She'll love you for it.

-- Jeff S.

[Jeff S]

... in response to We started out that way, too., posted by Jeff S on Jul 6, 2001

... you guys read "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" to understand that you aren't doing this to annoy each other and it's not adding to a collection small things that will do damage to your marriage in the long run (after reading Sally's response to Hum) it's more a difference in the way Men and Women think and respond to the world. It sure opened my eyes as to how I was misinterpreting things.
-- Jeff S.

[Jimbo]

... in response to A day in the life, posted by Jimbo on Jul 5, 2001

Thank you guys for your opinion on this topic.

But in my opinon (I know this is a small thing and this is not about money) but it does matter to me because this is an important thing especially the relationship. No matter how big or small thing is--- you should share it and open to your spouse.  

Sally

[may10]

... in response to Re: A day in the life......................, posted by Jimbo on Jul 6, 2001

So, has Jimbo started his  "lambing" yet?   *S*

[humabdos]

... in response to AMEN to that Sally........*S*, posted by may10 on Jul 6, 2001

GET OVER IT SALLY!  Its just a silly parking ticket!   You have more important things to worry about! If you are going to make such a big deal about a parking ticket your in for a long and misrable life!  Don't sweat the small stuff!  you'll go buang!   Humabdos

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: AMEN to that Sally........*S*, posted by humabdos on Jul 6, 2001

Hey, did you read my post properly? If not read it carefully before you open your mouth. I am talking about "SHARING" not the parking ticket. I know is just a parking ticket and no big deal. What I'm trying to say this issue is.... my husband went hiking that day two weeks ago and I did not know he has a parking ticket until I found out last night when I read it on the envelope -VIOLATION- I asked him whats that mean?  He said a parking ticket. I told him why you didn't mention that to me when you came back from hiking? He said no big deal just a parking ticket. Okay I understand that--just a ticket.  What about sharing and telling whats going on?  What if I have a speeding or parking ticket and I do not want to tell you and shared it with you because is not a big deal....and then you'll find out later.  What would you feel?  Nothing?  I don't think so!

Anyway, we don't fight over it. Just a discussion and he wanted to put on the board. All I want is sharing. You should tell her or him what's going on whether it is important things or not.  So that you have a happy marriage.  You put that in your mind Humabdos.  Many get divorce because of small things.

Sally

[humabdos]

... in response to Get  over  it  Humabdos...................., posted by Jimbo on Jul 6, 2001

So he forgot about it big deal. Like I said don't sweat the small stuff ! Just because he forgot to tell you every single detail of his day does not mean he is with holding info from you!   Is he supost to tell you how many times he farted to?   Or how many time he took a dump? LOL  ;-)

"many people get divorced because of small things"  

Yes they do and it makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!   What ever happend to TILL DEATH DO US PART?  People who divorce over small things never loved each other in the first place and NEVER should have gotten married.   Sorry if my comment made you mad :-(  Hum

[humabdos]

... in response to Get  over  it  Humabdos...................., posted by Jimbo on Jul 6, 2001

So he forgot about it big deal. Like I said don't sweat the small stuff ! Just because he forgot to tell you every single detail of his day does not mean he is with holding info from you!   Is he supost to tell you how many times he farted to?   Or how many time he took a dump? LOL  ;-)

"many people get divorced because of small things"  

Yes they do and it makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!   What ever happend to TILL DEATH DO US PART?  People who divorce over small things never loved each other in the first place and NEVER should have gotten married.   Sorry if my comment made you mad :-(  Hum

[may10]

... in response to Re: AMEN to that Sally........*S*, posted by humabdos on Jul 6, 2001

Good morning.....*S*

Didn't you get enough sleep last night?  Better yet...*S*, go get some breakfast....FAST.  *S*

[jim in the pis]

... in response to A day in the life, posted by Jimbo on Jul 5, 2001

just one ticket, for 20 bucks, naw nothing to worry about, pay it and forget it.
tell her its just one of the advantages of being in america, where  as over here in the philippines you can be shot for 2 peso
jjj

[may10]

... in response to A day in the life, posted by Jimbo on Jul 5, 2001

the woman in your life feels that every little thing counts
and a parking ticket IS a BIG DEAL for any filipina who considers anything against the law A BIG DEAL....even a jaywalking.  

I'd go with  "lambing"  coupled with an intimate dinner and a kiss.  I am sure the night will be wonderful after that.  *S*

[Ray]

... in response to A day in the life, posted by Jimbo on Jul 5, 2001

You should have explained to her why you got a parking ticket in front of a topless bar. What were you doing in there anyway?

Bon appetit!

Ray