getting fornicated

[jim c]

... in response to Stop being a d*ck, posted by corv on Dec 11, 2002

I have been around the agencies for three years have had an apartment in Cali for two and one half. I am sure that some of the guys here have met the numerous love starved bozos who meet the women and want to marry them in two days. I am only tired of these same guys who, when the relationship crashes, always portray the women as hookers and green card sharks. When you are there, it is impossible to talk sense to them, they will not listen. The agencies assist in the fantasy by claiming a victory when some dummie marries some one he can't even speak to with out an interpeter and has known a week.
  I once asked an agency owner about a girl who had just walked in the door for a cita and the owner asked how soon do you want to marry her. I responded that I would have to get to know her for at least six months to a a year and was informed that the girl wanted to get married right away within the month. She was a lawyer, beautiful and her date was mezmerized at his good fortune. Caveat empator. We are responsible for our choices and should not blame others in public for our lack of maturity. You want absolution go to church or to a shrink. Stroking someone who I believe may be holding back the whole truth is not in my nature.  
   I have found that most of the girls who are in the agencies really have a cinderella complex and are not really green sharks its only that they often get a carp instead of a prince and the bottom feeder usually says she is a hooker.

    Lastly, without directing this to anyone, a gentleman doesn't air dirty laundry in public or defame a woman he has been intimate with. How would some of us feel if our performance or particular tastes were aired by the ladies here. Wouldn't be too much fun huh ? JIM C

[JimSimon]

... in response to Re: Stop being a d*ck , posted by jim c on Dec 12, 2002

You are absolutely correct about the mistake I made marrying too quickly.  I offer my mistakes on this forum are lessons I should have known.  I am fluent in Spanish and we were able to talk and laugh a lot but I married someone I didn't know.  The advise I offer is this:

1.  Don't marry too quickly.

2.  A lie is always a lie and a red flag which can never be ignored.  She told me if I paid her bills, she'd be able to stay here forever, I paid the bills and she left.  She had a "believable" story and I bought it.

3.  Colombians have a legitimate reason to be desperate to leave Colombia.

4.  Your novia will have a network of friends who will advise her how to cheat the INS and get you to pay for it if things don't work out.  (Plan B)

5.  The INS personnel are aware of the huge amount of fraudulent marriages entered into by Colombianas.

Nidia is looking for a husband if anyone wants her E-mail.

Jim

[jim c]

... in response to Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck , posted by JimSimon on Dec 12, 2002

Dear Jim

I admire your realization that you are responsible for your own errors. You have accepted my criticism with good humor and manners.I have no knowleddge of the total issues  between you and your former wife, but I think explicit information as to sex without her having the ability to defend herself should not be posted here. We have long had a tradition of withholding names and explicit info. I believe it suffices to say that you spent a lot of money on a woman that did not love you and used you.  A request for $100.00 to sleep with her is questionable to me and would appear to be a joke on her part as she indicated.  If true and not a misconception it would paint you as a complete idiot and the worst judge of character I have ever heard of.
   You won the divorce, let it go and move on to a relationship with someone you know before you marry her. JIM C

[JimSimon]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck  dear JS, posted by jim c on Dec 13, 2002

I agree completely.

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Stop being a d*ck , posted by jim c on Dec 12, 2002

while it is true, so many men go down there, meet a girl and are engaged in a mater of days, and i have seen this so many times. you just know that they have no idea what they are doing. most of the men, (and there are a few exceptions), were so social challenged, that they couldnt hold a conversation with a girl in the USA, speaking english, let alone a girl from another country, speaking spanish. they were so excited that a beautiful girl would even talk to them, that they had to rush everything, and ask the question, in fear that they would lose her to another stupid gringo.
one girl does stick out in my mind that i met. she was 22, realy nice, and had a super sweet personality. she came in with her grandmother to check out the agency, to see if it was real, or a place where foreign men meet girls for sex. one of the men who was at the agency, he was 40, saw her, and before you knew what happened, he proposed after two days, but the girl wanted to wait until she got to know him better. i listened to their conversations, and this guy was the biggest idiot and moron, but she realy didnt understand english, and he spoke about two words in spanish. at one conversation, he actualy said something that would have offended any girl,but she had no idea what he said, and the translator re worded what he said, before she could figure it out. they did get married 7 months later, and i found out, after about a year of being married, that she finaly figured out that he was a jerk, and filed for divorce. i have also seen some real gold diggers and visa scammers,who would marry anybody to leave colombia, so it goes both ways. as for airing dirty laundry, well that is what this board is for, information, good stories, and bad stories. i dont think its a good idea to tell EVERYTHING, but most wont believe you on here, unless you give ALL the details. last part, take your time, date the girl for a while. meet her parents and friends. see how her personality is at home, around her family and friends. if her parents are screwed up, more than likely, she will be screwed up. if you are married within a year, more than likely, you will be divorced with in a year also. as for marring in colombia, instead of marrying in the USA, big mistake. you have not lived with the girl, and you have no idea what she will do, once she is here in the USA. she may not like it, she may get home sick, will not adjust, or learn english, spend all your money, ect. you are just asking to be raked over the coals getting married in colombia. ask a few men on this board, who got married in colombia, and who are going through their divorces. ok, enough said.

[wendell]

... in response to Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck / long, posted by mudd on Dec 12, 2002

MEN GO TO COLOMBIA TO GET YOUNGER AND PRETTIER WOMEN THAN THEY CAN GET HERE!  OR TO GET ANY WOMAN.  Which category do you fit in Don Juan?  If you are such a smooth operator, what are you doing hanging around agencys in Colombia at age 34?

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck / long, posted by wendell on Dec 12, 2002

i see you fit in the category of "wonderful personality"
i have no problem airing a little of my "dirty laundry" if someone with half a brain asks the question, but im not sure you do. anyways, your quote" men go to colombia to get younger and prettier women than they can get here, or any women, maybe you. i dont seem to have a problem getting younger or prettier women here, but finding one with half a brain, and good family morals and values is next to impossible. being divorced with two children, even though they are beautiful and wonderful children, a lot of women do not want a "ready made family". my city also has a lot more men than women, about 3 to 1, we have three military bases here, which you know what that means, a lot of horney men runnung all over the place. any other questions??

[wendell]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck / long, posted by mudd on Dec 12, 2002

Everything with you is half a brain, idiots, and morons.  Did you tell that guy to his face he was an idiot and a moron?  Or does your bravado only appear when you can hide behind a computer screen?

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck / ..., posted by wendell on Dec 12, 2002

I am starting to see what category you fall into by your comments. I have no problems with negative comments that are actually useful, but yours don’t seem to help anybody, but yourself. As for the guy who was clueless and socially challenged, no I didn’t bother to tell him he was making an ass out of himself, nor did any of the other guys that were there.I did ask him if he knew what he was doing, but he realy didnt care what anybody thought. He knew it, so to each his own. If he wants to make a big mistake, and he did, that is his choice, not mine. i think i answered enough useless questions by you.

[burbuja2]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck / ..., posted by wendell on Dec 12, 2002

This has been the most intelligent and interesting thread posted in a long time.  Why this personal attack in the ninth inning?

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Re: Stop being a d*ck / long, posted by mudd on Dec 12, 2002

My two favorites were:

1 - as for airing dirty laundry, well that is what this board is for, information, good stories, and bad stories.

2 - as for marrying in colombia, instead of marrying in the USA, big mistake.

IMHO

Steve

[valuedcustomer]

... in response to getting fornicated, posted by JimSimon on Dec 11, 2002

[This message has been edited by valuedcustomer]

I think if any man is lucky enough to find a good woman in any country and on any planet, he should hit the prayer rug daily even if he is an atheist.  The woman you picked sounds like a particularly viscous, cruel person.  It gives me goose bumps reading some of your descriptions.  I find it hard to believe that she could have been such a good actress that she could have hid this dark side of her long enough for you to marry her.  But then I am not judging, because maybe she was.  I think it is important for all of us to keep in mind that if you are not getting affection, love, and caring from your novia, get out fast.  And always treat cynical remarks as signs of cruelty.  The only thing that will protect you once you get her to the states is your wife's character.  I'll stay with my Colombian novia because the longer I know her the more I am impressed by her considerable character and AW are just not an option for me.  If you find a better alternative, let us know.          

P.S.   As for the INS man, it is fairly common for Colombians to marry a relative in order to get into the US.  Would this account for the thousands marrying someone they don't love?

[hankkh]

... in response to Re: getting fornicated, posted by valuedcustomer on Dec 11, 2002

While visiting Costa Rica, I noticed that there are many attractive columbians there on 90 day visas. So i'm thinking that they work there for a few months and then go back to Columbia and then become nice girls again. Just wondering because they get a better price for their services in Costa Rica than in Columbia

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Re: getting fornicated, posted by hankkh on Dec 11, 2002

if you want to see a lot colombian hookers, then go to the south of spain, around malaga. my frinds girlfriend lives there, and they went to a hi class disco. from what he and she told me, was that 90% of the hookers were from colombia. on another note, if you find a nice girl, take your time to see what her personality is like. meet her parents and friends. if her parents are screwed up, then more that likely, she will be screwed up. too many men are in such a hurry to get married, that they are in denial of the red flags that pop up in the relationship. in my opinion, men that get married within a year, are soon to be divorced.

[JimSimon]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: getting fornicated, posted by mudd on Dec 11, 2002

Guilty on both counts.  I wanted to get married and didn't wait an appropriate amount of time.  Also I ignored red flags big time.  

I eventually learned with Nidia to say everything five times and ask her to repeat it to make sure she understood what we were agreeing to.  I had enough red flags to decorate a stadium and I chose to ignore them.  It was a combination of love and stupidity.

Jim