Anatomy of a scam

[JSlo]

I'd suggest that everyone read or re-read the suggestions on "Scams-How you can avoid them," on Planet Love's homepage. I just ended a friendship with a person that I met on Amigos.com who's photo should be posted in the dictionary next to the definition of scam. The interesting part is that when someone is stroking your ego, it is easy to delude yourself that she is different. Although I recognized the classic symptoms, and ended the friendship quickly, it was still difficult as I had invested hours of time, and several calls to Colombia. I guess my Spanish needed the brush up for my trip this weekend. ;-) Here are the symptoms identified:
She first mentioned that she didn't have money for English lessons, never answered my questions about her family (I was interested in her relationship with her father), told me she worked for a company and wasn't getting paid in a timely fashion (couple of months since last check), and finally the outright request for money to assist her family. Keep in mind that it has only taken 3 - 4 weeks to get to this point. I actually found her photo on a couple of other agency websites, which were quite different than the ones she sent me. I got the photos of her from 10 years ago, and she hasn't aged well. To reiterate my point, she knew how to stroke the ego, made it a point to 'sell her' good qualities which was just an echo of what I mentioned to her earlier, began hinting at money early on in the friendship with an outright request 3 weeks later. Keep your eyes open, and use good common sense thereby avoiding the sharks.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Anatomy of a scam, posted by JSlo on Nov 13, 2002

Reminds me of the girls (or whatever they really were) who used TLC a few years ago. One was Mary in Bogota. The other was the "beauty pagent queen" from Quito. She sent me some of the best letters! I called her the queen of adjectives. Every sentence contained four or five descriptive adjectives detailing everything about her you never wanted to know. She even told me she was a virgen (I hadn't asked) and whats more didn't have any scars or blemishes on her body. She had the phone issue worked out too. She didn't have one so you couldn't call her and the lines at the telefone office were so intolerable that she couldn't call you collect either. After a couple of letters she wanted to come up to see you but needed money to get her passport and the ticket of course which she could get soooo much cheaper there in Quito than if you bought it. One guy on a tour with Amigos International finally went in person to her PO box in Quito and called the cops on her. She turned out to be a 50 year old married woman who was getting mail and money (but not mine) from all over Europe and the US. One basic tip for correspondence: if she can't be reached by phone even at a neighbors house she ain't real. I think if I were corresponding with one today through Amigos or Cybercupido I'd insist on fotos of her in a variety of environments and some of family as well as a home, not cel number.

[pablo]

... in response to Anatomy of a scam, posted by JSlo on Nov 13, 2002

Sorry you got burned with time and money invested in this lady.  Hopefully, you had a back up plan and were able to see some other ladies or stopped by an agency while on your trip.
 
What is it with many of the ladies posting false photos at amigos.com?  I recently met a lady in Bogotá who used a photo of a model to represent herself at this site.  What was hard to determine in this case was that there was never a request or a hint to send money. You should have seen the look on my face and my interpreter's at the initial meeting.

Good advice as you already know is to never send money if you have not met her, and have a good back up plan.  The trick is to get the ladies to send recent normal photos to avoid any surprises or disappointments down the road and before time, money and energy are spent.

Another Latina beauty queen I contacted over the internet, originally from Cali but staying in Miami, quickly showed her hand with mentioning her parent’s desperate situation being out of work.  I played along; asking how much was needed to get them by and then told her I would be glad to send her some money if she sent me a copy of her passport.  Needless to say, she refused and never tried stroking my ego again.

[DallasSteve2]

... in response to Re: Anatomy of a scam, posted by pablo on Nov 13, 2002

[This message has been edited by DallasSteve2]

When I first looked for a foreign bride I bought addresses, wrote letters, made phone calls, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Now, I personally consider that a waste of time.  The only way to know if there is a mutual attraction is to meet her in person, be that in an agency, on the street, whatever.

Until you meet her in person all you have is a dream.  Sorry, but anyone who sends money to a woman he has never met deserves to get scammed.  Or as Harry Anderson used to say: "A fool and his money were lucky to find each other in the first place."

Steve

[Hiker]

... in response to Long distance love, posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 13, 2002

I agree with you.  If you are going to use correspondence then I would stick with that method and screen out the possibilities.  I would not mix correspondence with using an agency.  I would know I had a trip coming up and start writing girls.  I would always get a "good" correspondence going with one girl.  She would meet me at the airport.  I usually found she was not who I was looking for and have to start the process of getting out of the situation I had created.