She is Gone

[Ken2]

Well,  she finally left after I could not meet her list of demands.  She became such a different person from the girl I meet in Cali last April.  She used to be very affectionate, understanding and sweet.  Now she is demanding, unsatisfied and cold.  She did leave to her sisters yesterday for Virginia.  Im not sure what course of action to take as she has her greeen card and is heading to Soc. Sec. Admin =. for her number to work.  My fear is not that she collect gov. funds (As she wants to work to send money home), but that  she'll refuse to sign a divorce agreement. any ideas?

[Pete E]

... in response to She is Gone, posted by Ken2 on Nov 14, 2002

Ken,
Seems like she only stayed with you a few days.Maybe an annulment would be a possibility.I would check with a lawyer,preferably one who knows immigration law.
Gary Bala will probably give you some free imformation in an E-mail or phone call.He called me in Cali one time and I never paid for his services.
I think his web site is USimmigrationattorney.com or search under his name.

Pete

[JunFan]

... in response to She is Gone, posted by Ken2 on Nov 14, 2002

...to your house, and file for divorce asap.  If there are any cell phones you are paying for or ATM's of yours that she has....cancel them.

After that, just try to avoid ANY contact with her, especially in-person.  If you must, make sure you have someone(s) with you to be witness that you did not threaten or abuse her.  Remember, the abuse card is about the only viable one they have.

Unfortunately, I have experience in this area.  I'm sure you are having a rough go of things.  All I can say is time will help.  The near and intermediate term will likely suck.  Try to pick up your exercise and maybe start doing some new things to take up the slack and get you out of the house, where you are reminded of her.

Good luck,
Mike

[puckster]

... in response to She is Gone, posted by Ken2 on Nov 14, 2002

I was having the same precise problem recently. You still can get a devorce. You need to make a public legal statement (That's not precise terminolgy).That's when you can not find the person to serve devorce papers.
 You'll need to notify the INS with a letter that is notorized Saying she is  gone.
The Law reads she most stay with you two years or  return home. In which case the INS should know she is in breach of contract.
hope this helps.

[denvermike]

... in response to Re: She is Gone, posted by puckster on Nov 15, 2002

Hi Ken,

Tough times I'm sure. You are probably filled with mixed emotions and disappointment.  You may be a little embarrassed at the moment.

However, be proactive.  I hate to say it, but you probably need to speak to a lawyer and put forth a game plan. This problem is not likely to go away.  Do what is takes to protect your assests.  You can assume she will look for support and much more. Protect yourself against the "abuse" claim if you can.  

good luck,
mike

[Patrick]

... in response to She is Gone, posted by Ken2 on Nov 14, 2002

Ken,

Given that your wife has posted here and therefore knows about the site, are you sure you want to solicit strategy on the message board?  I've deteted the responses to your post and am asking all who responded to send you email instead of posting to the board. In this type of situation, I think you should be careful.

[Hoda]

... in response to Deleted messages, posted by Patrick on Nov 14, 2002


hopefully, she doesn't have access to his e-mail account. Ken, keep your head during these times. Kill her with kindness when she tries to get in contact with you. If you have to meet with her, make it in a public place...WITH FRIENDS AND/OR FAMILY! She'll need money sooner or later. But you better not give her a grape...ya hear me?

Keep ya head up.....

[robbysanjuan]

... in response to Fellas, help Ken privately...., posted by Hoda on Nov 16, 2002

Hoda,
She is with family, she doesn't need much from him. Privately or openly, she won. She attained her goal = her body on U.S. soil, future citizenship. Chalk it up as a loss and press on. I would just get a really good lawyer. It seems to me that she knew the scam before getting here and worked it to her advantage. This is not a flare, but please interject common sense, if she loves you, she doesn't leave you.

[outwest77]

... in response to Deleted messages, posted by Patrick on Nov 14, 2002

Daym patrick you have a sharp mind, i never would have thought of that but ur right, it could be used aagainst him.