Opinions sought

[Minnesota guy]

Does it make sense to travel to RP to spend time with a penpal that I've only exchanged about 15 letters with since February? She is the neice of my neighbor who has been here for 2 years. Our letters have become increasingly affectionate and I also know a lot about her based on what her Aunt has told me. Recently I wrote her and talked about my views on religion, having children, and general thoughts about the future. I also told her to seriously consider whether she wanted to be with someone 24 years older (22 vs 46). I have not heard back yet but based on her past letters and her Aunt's opinion I think she would still like to be with me. My thoughts are to go to RP in September and spend a few weeks there. I can handle cities OK but would like to head off to a quiet area and spend time getting to know her better. Would also like to get in some diving. I would appreciate any advice or opinions. Thanks!

[Cecil]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

Minnesota guy,

I will give you an opposing opinion on this subject.  I personally believe that three months of strictly letter writing does not allow you much knowledge of each other.  Many times men will rush off to the philippines to meet their lady becoz they fear that some other man will get there before them.  The address sellers want us to believe that if we don't write right away we will lose her.  When you do go there you will be under pressure from the girl's family and friends to make a committment.  This pressure along with your fear of losing her may force you into making a decision in haste which you may regret later.  I would say that if this lady truly loves you as you say that she certainly can wait another three months to see you.  This lady may appear to be irreplacable at this time but you will find that there are many wonderful gals in the Philippines.  No matter what course you choose may God bless you!

Cecil

[Carrisse]

... in response to Re: Opinions sought, posted by Cecil on Jul 4, 2001

;-)

[Ray]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

M.G.,

I think your plan sounds good, but assuming that she is a respectable lady, you may not have too much time "alone" with her. Expect several chaperones at all times. This is normal procedure for most areas of the Philippines, especially rural areas.

I wouldn't necessarily commit your whole vacation time to her, but agree to meet for a few days and see how things go. Leave your schedule flexible. Try to meet her family in her home town if possible.

The age difference is not overwhelming but is just another strike against a successful marriage. If you have much else in common (religion, education, future plans and dreams, etc.), then the age thing is not of great concern.

An early meeting is recommended but try to take it slowly. And study up on the Filipino culture as much as possible before you make detailed plans for your trip.

Good luck,

Ray

[tomtneal]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

You may not no it yet but you are already married to her
tneal

[tito]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

Hi Guy,

It sounds like you already get the program.Establish a nice,meaningful correspondence and then journey to the RP for a great VACATION.I am a snorkler myself,hehe,but I know some fellas on PL can tell you about some world class diving spots.Spend a short time in the city and then travel out to the provinces to explore and see the real beauty of the RP and meet some truly warm people.I have heard of guys going there and things not working out with their penpals.I have rarely heard of guys who didn't say they had a very cool vacation.Keep your "love" expectations real and your sense of adventure high.Expect of few minor annoyances but just keep your eyes and mind open.

An intro from the lady's relative is a nice plus and if you have a "few" weeks to spend there that would be helpful also.Yup, I think we just might be hearing more from you MN Guy.Be cool and good luck.

Peace out,

the titomeister

[Stephen]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

Go for it.

Look at it this way....suppose the lady doesn't pan out.  You can still have a wonderful 2-3 week vacation.

You don't have anything to loose.

Stephen

[Jeff S]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

.. if you don't go over and meet her, you'll probably spend the rest of your life wondering if you passed on the best thing that will ever happen to you. Here are some guys who didn't wonder about it but hopped on the plane and went:
http://www.crosswinds.net/~asiansweetie/

And here's what one Filipina has to say about age and cultural differences (Yes, I know she's an agency owner so has a vested interest in selling the concept to you - but hey, it makes sense)
http://www.everlastinglove.com/match.htm

Finally, if you're looking for good diving spots, Humabdos knows plenty. Hum - you lurking?

-- Jeff S

[Jimbo]

... in response to Opinions sought, posted by Minnesota guy on Jul 4, 2001

Hi MN guy,

The RP is a great visit for most any reason.  Even if the meeting with your penpal does not turn out to be promising, you'll get to experience the Philippines and learn a bit about the culture.

My first trip was made after writing for just four months.  It was quick but I wasn't planning on making big decisions on the first meeting anyway.  I had already made up my mind that more than one trip was necessary for me to pop the question.  So I met two penpals, spent time with them sightseeing HongKong and Manila, and then went to Cebu for a week of diving.  I went home with a stronger hope that perhaps the lady in HongKong was the right one for me.

Jim

[Dingo]

... in response to Sure, why not?, posted by Jimbo on Jul 4, 2001

As long as you haven't made any commitment to gal number 1.
You could always bring some back up names and addresses
of other gals to visit even on short notice.
Have fun. good luck