is writing a waste of time?

[chevy]

With all the talk about agencies it seems like writing instead would be a waste of time. How effective is writing?

[Buck]

... in response to is writing a waste of time?, posted by chevy on Jul 18, 2002

Please E-Mail me-Buck

[Craig]

... in response to is writing a waste of time?, posted by chevy on Jul 18, 2002

Writing can be good if followed up by a visit. What's bad is sitting around an agency with nothing to do, or finding the girls are not to your liking, keep all your options open.

[Red Clay]

... in response to is writing a waste of time?, posted by chevy on Jul 18, 2002

I met my wife by writing. I placed a personal ad with South of the Border, which appeared in about 20 different Latin cities. The ad ran for about six months total [cancelled it shortly after meeting my wife] I received around 40 responses from ladies all over South America and Mexico. I really enjoyed getting so many responses from different places. One of the best things about writing: the scammers/golddiggers/green card sharks don't take the time to do it. It's a great way to weed out the bad apples.

Had I not had so much success with my ad, I might have visited some agencies eventually, but didn't need to.

[Pete E]

... in response to is writing a waste of time?, posted by chevy on Jul 18, 2002

It can be helpfull if you are so inclined,particularly after you have already met the person.
But don't let it be an excuse for not commiting to the hunt,an activity that doesn't require you to do much,a substitute for action.
And to think you have found your one and only and you haven't even met her yet is the ultimate mind f---.Don't get way out ahead of yourself with a person you haven't even met.And don't set up your trip so you will spend it all with one person even if there is no connection.I have seen guys spend a week in Cali and have no idea what was really available to them and come home disapointed.
I like just going.You can meet so many women in a short time and you decide if there is chemistry or connection before you spend alot of time on them.Its so active vs passive.You have the person right in front of you and not a picture in your mind.
One of the downsides of meeting strangers is you could get carried away with attraction and not really get to know the person you are involved with.The tendency to think with the little head.It can overcome your intuition and better judgement,so if anything seems not right go slow.If there are strange or improperly explained circumstances watch out.
My theory again.You can tell the really really good girls right away.Its just who they are.Be carefull with the ones that don't fit this catagory.

Pete

[Jeff S]

... in response to is writing a waste of time?, posted by chevy on Jul 18, 2002

To me, writing was an extremely essential part of getting to know my wife. The long months between visits offered ample time logically think things through. I don't know about you, but I'm not one of those quick thinkers, you know, the guys who come out with the great comebacks and always seem to know the right things to say. I'm one of those people who, after thinking about things for a few days, realize, I should have said this, or asked that.

Getting to know someone by mail takes some of the emotion out of the equation. If her sweet smell, and curves gracefully slipping under her silky dress quicken your breath, it's mighty difficult to discuss the kind of mundane things you really need to know about each other before comitting to getting married - like how you feel about spending money, or what religion to raise your kids, or any of the millions of timy details that will make or break your relationship. Swapping letters gives you time to think about what she's said, time to think about what you really are after, time to formulate your genuine responses to her concerns.

You've been to job interviews, right? Don't you try to present yourself as the person you believe the company is really looking for irrespective of the person you really are. You're doing a sales job. What makes you think these women aren't doing precisely the same thing when you're interviewing them at an agency? Sure, someone could decieve you writing letters, but writing many letters over many months is will usually reveal plenty of red flags or inconsistancies if it's a pure sales job.

Sure there's a chance that once you've written someone for many months you meet and she simply just doesn't do anything for you, and you may think that's a bunch of wasted time and postage. Consider the wasted time and money with the alternate, though - someone who turned you on in the agency, but you really got to kow the details about her, she wasn't for you. I'm sure JunFan would be happy to fill you in on that.

Jeff S.

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: is writing a waste of time?, posted by Jeff S on Jul 18, 2002

After you have met her, I think writing is a good way to pass time and strengthen the relationship between visits.

But before you have met face to face, I think writing is a waste of time, and sets both people up for dissapointment after a false relationship, and sometimes percieved love is begun by e-mail only.  After a long e-mail relationship you feel obligated to spend time with her after you get down there.  But more times then not, you know it's not going to work right away.

I've done it both ways, and that is how I came to my opinions.  I wrote to this wonderful Russian girl every other day for 4 months and thought she just had to be the one.  She was a good letter writer.  But then the face to face revealed no chemistry in 2 minutes.

I wrote many other times too.

Writing is only a source of entertainment before you can get on the plane.  It does give you somewhat of a feel for the culture before your 1st trip.

Wayne