Why go to SA on "cold calls"?

[Slowandtru]

I have a question that may seem odd. Perhaps this has been addressed before in this forum and I missed it.

Why do so many men looking for latinas go to Latin America to meet women when it is so easy to establish contact prior to going? Dating sites like Starmatch are FREE! Some, like BNND One-And-Only are very cheap and you can communicate with as many women from wherever you want for a nominal monthly fee. There are truckloads of women from Cali, Bogota and almost anywhere else in Colombia on BNND. You can select by age, city, kids or no kids, etc.

Before my Novia contacted me (through Starmatch) I communicated with many women and met a few. Mexico, Colombia, Brazil, Russia, Poland and lots more. My point is this; if you get to know a woman (or women) to some degree before you meet her a lot of the things that need to be known and ironed out have already been accomplished. The women outside of agencies seem to be a little more representative of the general population in my experience, though in all fairness I must admit I have met my share of strange ones on the dating services as well.

Through my Novia I have come to know several schoolteachers who occasionally work as translators at the parties thrown for Gringos by the Colombian agencies in Cali. Without exception the translators speak of how "different" most of the women who attend these functions are. I don't think it is a catty thing, they sound genuinely concerned for the men who spend so much money to meet offbeat females when "regular" women are so readily available. I'm sure there are good women who go to these things too but it seems to me that trying to sort them all out in a limited period of time could be avoided by establishing contact prior to showing up in a foreign country with a smile, a return ticket and a bag full of impatient hope. It is difficult enough to get to really know a woman at all. Being on a time clock at the starting line makes it even more so.  

Just a thought from a gray-haired traveler.

[greg]

... in response to Why go to SA on "cold calls"?, posted by Slowandtru on Apr 8, 2002

Such a Helpful Post for Newbies like myself, thanks a million. Anymore juicy Latina suites? greg

[Slowandtru]

... in response to By Gawd..Was Awaiting, posted by greg on Apr 8, 2002

I have tried several sites in the past but have had the best results with the two I mentioned. Starmatch is limited in their selection of Latinas (at least for an older guy like me...I use the age filter constantly to insure there is life after 'pillow talk') but the price is right. Free! Met a pretty fine Brazialian there, a few "former USSR" gals and a whole bunch of American women from Florida to Michigan. There were times when it was wearing me out...but then the one that roped me in contacted me from that site too. We will be married at the end of summer or beginning of fall depending on when the universities in Colombia finally stop striking. Don't know exactly when the school year will be over at this point, but she has a lot of things to do and items to sell between then and now.

I would highly recommend BNND's "One-And-Only" site for the pay site. They have different plans. You can pay for a month, pay for three months or monthly. It is like being a kid in a candy store. I stopped using them long before I got serious with Luz. There was just no way to keep up with all of it. BNND has several sites and keeps expanding so you get a lot of exposure. It is sometimes difficult to find the site so you can write me at Slowandtru@aol.com and I will forward the correct URL to you.

The trick to all of these "dating sites" is to keep it fresh. Change photographs, headings and copy body fairly often. The women "cruise" these listings regularly and after a time they "tune out" the ones they have seen repeatedly. Change the mug shot and the header and you get a second chance to catch the eye of someone the first shot did not hook. Do that and you will not have to write to them. They will write to you.

There are a lot of new sites coming up. I get spam from them constantly. I put my profile in a couple like "Date.com" but in my opinion the prices are out of sync with what they have to offer. I have received several "interested" messages from these new ones, but I would not pay the price to get the right to email replies...and now I am off of the market anyway. BNND will let paying members contact you even if you don't buy into the system...at least they did when I was active in it.
If you are a AOL subscriber they have a free dating site. Hit keyword LOVE and go to the freebie. AOL is slowly turning people away from their free site to Date.com. I guess the scent of the almighty dollar has them by the nose.

Good luck! I hope you find what you are looking for.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: By Gawd..Was Awaiting, posted by Slowandtru on Apr 8, 2002

Nope... AOL has signed a deal with Match.Com

Now you have to sign up with Match.Com to list. But if you actually want to WRITE to anyone... you have to pay...

[Slowandtru]

... in response to AOL -- free no more, posted by MarkInTx on Apr 9, 2002

If you type in Keyword LOVE, "Browse the Basic Personals" can be found in the lower right hand corner of the pop up. This is still free though the number of participants has dropped dramatically.  A few year ago I met some really interesting women through that site...and a few who were hiding behind a monitor locked in a fantasy romance novel too. Such is life. Glad I found the one I was looking for.

Oh! Colombia is not specifically listed in the State/Country selection. Use "Other" to find the Colombianas.

[Ross2]

... in response to Why go to SA on "cold calls"?, posted by Slowandtru on Apr 8, 2002

I agree with you. But I think the reason so many men tend
to go to SA without prior correspondence is because
meeting someone in person is the best way to tell if there
is chemistry in the first place. A man can spend weeks emailing a woman before meeting her, only to find out once he meets her that there isn't much chemistry, not to mention
her photo is five years old, etc. But yes, prior correspondence can save a lot of headaches if it is done wisely.

[Slowandtru]

... in response to Re: Why go to SA on "cold calls&quo..., posted by Ross2 on Apr 8, 2002

While I agree with you in principle I have found that, in my case at least, the "chemistry" thing leads to thinking with my little head before the big head has a chance to function. At my age the prospect of turning into something that looks like a prune is in the not-too-distant future so I am more interested in what will ultimately be in the walker beside me when the plumbing goes awry. Chemistry is easy. Being able to maintain a decision to love is not so easy. Something needs to be there for the long run. With my second wife there was more chemistry than a Toxic Waste Plant could keep up with but even a Ferrari gets old when you want to go camping.

When you are young you have time to taste fruit, make mistakes, tighten up your combat boots and move on. Once fifty is in the rearview you look at the "fruit pits" along the trail behind you and reach for the one who can honestly hold your intellectual and emotional interest and STILL make the sweaty times keep a smile on your face. But I do agree; until you actually see the face in all of those photographs and hear the voice on the telephone linked up with smiling eyes the magic cannot happen.

[Ross2]

... in response to Re: Re: Why go to SA on "cold calls..., posted by Slowandtru on Apr 8, 2002

Slowandtru,

I know what you mean. With some ladies, especially the attractive Latinas, it is easy to let the little head distort your thinking and it may be best to communicate by phone at first, if you are willing to risk it.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Why go to SA on "cold calls&quo..., posted by Ross2 on Apr 8, 2002

Why not combine both methods? The first time I went to a Cali agency I wrote to a number of girls in a TLC catalog inviting them to call me at the agency if they wanted to meet. When I got there several had already left their numbers for me and others called while I was there. I'd say there was about a sixty percent response rate. The important point here is that none of those girls were in agencies so it was a good way to expand the scope of the busqueda.

[Ross2]

... in response to Re: Re: Why go to SA on "cold calls..., posted by Cali vet on Apr 8, 2002

Good idea, Calivet. I may do that next time. But my luck with TLC has been bad for some reason. I wrote to 20 ladies from their catalogues and got zero responses. I am young and have a lot to offer a woman (without sounding arrogant). Maybe the catalogue was not updated at the time.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Why go to SA on "cold c..., posted by Ross2 on Apr 9, 2002

It's not you Ross, the decent looking girls featured in the TLC catalogs are just flooded with letters. One girl I met showed me a stack. She hadn't even opened them. It costs them money to write to us and it's a hassle, have to go to Parque Del Correo or something and they know the mail is uncertain. For them it's WAY easier to make a local phone call to leave their number for some one who is actually going to show up in Cali. Hence the good response rate.

[Ross2]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Why go to SA on "co..., posted by Cali vet on Apr 9, 2002

My letters are probably still sitting in those stacks. That was a lessen learned the hard way. I now have a little more
optimism about this process. Thanks Calivet.

Ross