Women in their 20's

[El Diablo]

We talked about some of the dangers of marrying women in their early to mid 20's recently however I do think there are some plusses also.  For instance, I've found among my Cali amigas that the younger gals in general are less set in their ways and much more accomodating.  Although they have less life experiences they also seem to come with less emotional baggage.  This is anecdotal but my experience is that the younger gals are more motivated to learn English and pick it up much more easily than their older sisters.  I think once they are in the United States the women in their 20's adjust much better also.  I wonder how many of the older gals become fluent in the language or can hold down decent jobs should the need arise.  

I'm not advocating large age difference relationships but just noting some observations.  

El Diablo

[denvermike]

... in response to Women in their 20's, posted by El Diablo on Mar 26, 2002

Just thought I would put my $0.02 in the mix. As some of  you know I live in Santiago De Chile now.  I am currently dating three women all in their 20s. They range in age from 25 to 28, and I am 50.

As I have said before, I think I have died and gone to heaven. It it has been great.  The ladies are all sweet friendly, happy, and very sexual. The Chilean ladies are very frugal with your money. They constantly complain that I over tip the waiters down here.  They are always suggesting ways of saving a peso or two. It is their culture to be smart with money.  

In this country age difference means nothing, you see lots of us old guys with sweet young things. The Chilean women are very mature for their age and they treat you like a king. They are very affectionate in public almost too affectionate at times. In some ways it is show saying, he is mine stay away.

Age difference problems can be totally dependent on the lady naturally, but down here they love older gringos because we have money for one, also we treat them like a lady.

My advice don't let the age difference get in the way. You only live once, enjoy to the max.

mike

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Women in their 20's, posted by denvermike on Mar 27, 2002


Could ya give the guys some info on airfares, moderately priced hotels. A little background on the how & where, in regards your current state of niravana, would help guys who might consider Chile as an option.

Peace...

[denvermike]

... in response to Hey Mike...., posted by Hoda on Mar 27, 2002

Hi Guys,

The airfare to Santiago is more than going to Colombia, it is an eight hour flight from Miami. The last time I looked at a coach flight from Denver it was about $1600.  

There are a number of apart-hotels that run about $50 a day in Santiago.

It should be mentioned this is not Colombia, there are not the typical intro agencies, but you really don't need them.

I will be more than happy to assist anyone who wants to head this way.

take care,
mike

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Hey Mike...., posted by denvermike on Mar 28, 2002


Mike is gonna be in Chile for awhile, why not give him a shout! That airfare is STEEP!!!!! Mike, Let's hope guys take you up on your offer...

Peace...

[H2Oh]

... in response to Women in their 20's, posted by El Diablo on Mar 26, 2002

El D, You know how Chicky-Fly and I feel about women in their mid to early 20's. Are we the poster children for this subject......time will tell.

H2-Oh

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Women in their 20's, posted by H2Oh on Mar 26, 2002

Howard,
Yes you are one of the poster boys,and a picture of Sandra could  gets some guys interested in the possibilities here.The poor guys for whom this board is only a intellectial curiosity should see what the real point is here.

Pete

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Women in their 20's, posted by H2Oh on Mar 26, 2002


Yes H2-OH, you and Chicky-Fly are definitely that.  As my trip to Cali looms ever closer I am truly inspired by the both of you. The 8th time to Colombia will definitely be the charm, I'm certain of it.  (grin)

Hmmm....I wonder if my modification in my thoughts on younger women is any way related to my fast approaching trip?  A rhetorical question only....

El Diablo

[Pete E]

... in response to Women in their 20's, posted by El Diablo on Mar 26, 2002

ED,
I think you need to dig a little deeper in those books for the special woman you are looking for.Some of these young chicas may be fun,but they are diverting you from your real goal.
But then maybe you like the chase better?One of our aforementioned persons confided in me that he may not have gotten married just yet but he could see that he was no longer going to be able to go once a month.

Pete

Pete

Pete

[Onephd]

... in response to Women in their 20's, posted by El Diablo on Mar 26, 2002

I have to agree with you. Initially I was completely against any lady in their early 20's but I recently met one that was only 23 and she is by far the most mature and easy going lady I have met. I seem to have much in common with her regarding how the concepts of relationships and such.

Up until then I had only met 1 or 2 older ladies that did not appear to have luggage. To be honest I'm not sure that I believe that the older ladies are as serious about moving to the states as the younger one are. Sure you have those ladies who are older and younger who are just testing the waters, but so far I'm sold on the 22-27 year old. They are not the same as an AW who is 22-27, thats for sure!!!

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Women in their 20's-Amen preach on, posted by Onephd on Mar 26, 2002


But in all cases, you have to make that judgement/sincerity call about a ladies "maturity level" on an individual basis. I'm quite sure you've heard the expression "people grow older, but that doesn't mean, they grow up". Personally, when I was searching & I interviewed (arrg, I hate that term) or dined with someone under 25, the age gap did come into my mind. The ladies didn't have a problem with it, & didn't believe I was 12-15 years older than them.
They appreciated the respect & maturity, that they were being denied by those males in their age group. IMO, if there is a 15+ year age difference between a couple & they're happy & things are working for them. The world should step-off & wish them well.

Don't hate the players, hate the game....LOL

[Kit]

... in response to Re: Women in their 20's-Amen preach on, posted by Onephd on Mar 26, 2002

Uh-oh here comes my favorite topic again. Indeed younger folks seem to learn and adopt quicker. This is biological inclination of humans. One of the things she learns fast too is her worth. So keep that in mind. In LA she would never even look at the guy over 10 years above her so what makes you think that she will make an exception for NA man? Lets face it we all know why women in LA go for much older NA men. And it aint personal qualities. Also lets not be so naïve as to conclude that all LA men are cheaters and infidels so no women will stay with them. NA has the highest (known) divorce rate in the world so that no angels here as well.

In every relationship both parties must bring about the same amount of assets to it to be in harmony. A woman brings her charm, beauty, perhaps something else. A man brings… green card, new society and… perhaps something else. So when she becomes PR in the country, it becomes more and more difficult (for big age gap couples) to maintain this balance. She may even land a job that pays more the hubby ever dreamt about earning. And being close to the retirement stage (for many read: fixed income/poverty) he becomes totally incapable of balancing the scale.

Also disagree on the statement that ladies in LA are different from NA. Less materialistic perhaps and more family oriented but general features remain the same. A lady wants a happy marriage, family and loving husband. The differences in LA and NA ladies have nothing to do with big age gap marriages. They are quite uncommon in both places.

I don’t want to discourage anyone (myself included) from seeking a courtship with young lady. Just want everyone to understand (long term) implications of big age gap marriages.
I know that for many people on this board (myself included) this is not what they would like to hear, but this post will hopefully make them more vigilant and thoughtful about the deeds they commit.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Women in their 20's-Amen preach ..., posted by Kit on Mar 26, 2002

"In LA she would never even look at a guy 10 years above her"
Really?
And where,may I ask,did you get this imformation?
My wifes father is 14 years older than her mother.I know another Colombiana who married a COLOMBIAN guy 46 years older than her.Big age differences are very common in Colombia at least.It may not be the norm,but it is VERY common.Whats very common?Maybe 10-20% of the couples.Its a whole different world than here.
Have you ever been there or is this just web site philosophy?I have seen literally hundreds of profiles of women where the age they mention they are looking for  is 10-15 years older than they are.And having been there I know most of them will stretch it alot farther than that.
And don't think there isn't alot of truth to how badly these women are sometimes treated by Colombian guys.And Colombian guys can be hesitant to marry.Salaries are poor.It can mean a tough life as a husband and father  vs. an easy life as a playboy.And don't think Colombian guys are not more likely to have extramaritial affairs than americans.Its almost a national sport.I would bet the average number of extramaritial affairs per married man is 10 times what it is here.My wife had a grandfather who was famous for it.The family laughs about it now,grandma probably didn't think it was so funny at the time.
Of course economics is a major factor,but its not the only factor. My wife is 23 years younger than me and so far so good.(We've been married 26 months).Obviously she wasn't finding the opportunity to marry an acceptable guy there.She dated the father of her child for years and he would never marry her or give any financial support for his child.I asked if he ever hit her and she said yes.I don't think she would ever leave me unless I mistreated her.I really believe I could get a major illness where I needed constant care and she would be there untill I died.Its just the way she was raised.Her family would expect nothing less from her.I joke that she is my elder care insurance.
Now this is not every Colombiana,so a guy needs to be carefull.Character has to be the first requirement.There are lots of ladies with good character,and quite a few without it.A guy needs to not lose his head over the beauty and figure out what kind of a woman he is getting.I think the really good ones are easy to tell.Guys get in trouble when they get involved with women of questionable character.There should be no red flags,no unexplained or suspiciously explained circumstances.And a guy needs to pay close attention to the family.If they have very high values the girl will most likely also.
Now I do think a girl in her late teens or early 20's might not be a good choice,even though you can have them if you want.I think they are more likely to go through changes in what they think they want.There is a big difference between a 20 year age difference when the girl is 18-21 than when she is 30 or 35.
To you new guys out there ,don't let the mistake stories stop you.I have seen only one that wasn't riddled with overlooked red flags.There are lots of nice girls that never get much attention at the agencies.Consider someone a little older.Meet some of the girls who look somewhat ordinary in their photos.Most of them look much better in real life.I think maybe 5% of the girls get 90% of the attention,and that group probably has a much higher risk of getting a problem girl.And forget the tours.You will probably only meet the aggressive ones,not a good bet.And be about $1000 poorer.
Maybe it just sounds too good to be true.If it doesn't fit the view you have become accustomed to here it must not be true.Having experienced it I can tell you there is a huge,huge difference in the quality of woman you will be able to get there vs. here.Of course there are risks and you have to be carefull.
But hey,if you would rather sleep with your preconcieved notions its OK with me.

Pete

[Kit]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Women in their 20's-Amen pre..., posted by Pete E on Mar 26, 2002

“And where,may I ask,did you get this imformation?”

This information comes from common sense.

“I know another Colombiana who married a COLOMBIAN guy 46 years older than her”

I also know a guy who won a lottery. That is right, a lottery. Based on your conclusion everybody who plays lottery wins.

“Big age differences are very common in Colombia at least”

And where did you get this information? Because you know a Colombian guy who is 46 years older than his wife I presume.

“I have seen literally hundreds of profiles of women where the age they mention they are looking for is 10-15 years older than they are”

I haven’t seen any profile from Asian/Russian/LA agency where a lady would indicate that she is looking for same age guy. I suspect there is a reason for that. Let me give you a hint: advertise your car for sale at a market price. Then next week advertise it for sale for half the price. Compare responses.

“Character has to be the first requirement”

Well that is the whole point behind my posts. So don’t get blinded by the skin.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Women in their 20's-Amen..., posted by Kit on Mar 27, 2002

Refering to your statement that "NO Colombiana would EVEN LOOK at a guy 10 years older".Notice the absolutes as highlighted in Capitals.Even one example makes an absolute false.And you say this imformation is from common sense.I presume that does not mean from observation within the culture we are talking about.So I guess "common sense"in this case is just your preconcieved opinion based on no actual experience.Even if you had said "many" or "most" your statement probably would have been wrong as opposed to blatently wrong.The 46 year age difference I mentioned is just a true example of what seems to be accepted in Colombia.I didn't say that was common or the norm.What it has to do with winning the lottery I have no Idea.Poor comparison.
I said "big age differences are common in Colombia".I didn't just immagine this and call it common sense.It is based on my observations and direct knowledge of many marriages in Colombia based on my many trips there and the constant contact we have with the country because it is my wifes country.I don't know the exact numbers,I just know its common,meaning not uncommon,as in I have observed alot of it.I did say it isn't the norm.In more recent Colombian society I think alot of people meet their mates in high school or college and they are closer to the same age.
You may be right about the adverising aspect of the age many women say they are looking for.They know their chances are pretty slim anyway so they are probably trying to increase them with a wider acceptable age range.But I have talked with early twenties Colombianas who were very suspect that any guy under 30 was mature and settled down.There is a negative bias against young guys with many of these girls.
Its a different world in Colombia.A good standard of living isn't almost automatic like it is here,its hard to come by.
Things like maturity and the ability to provide for the family are not so easy to come by within Colombian society.So these women in some cases prefer the older man who can provide this.Would they rather have a younger man that can provide this?Maybe,but probably their experiences with younger guys have been anything but responsible.I have seen this directly.My brother in law fits this mold.He is a nice guy but has been totally irresponsible regarding his ex wife and girl friends and children.
The other thing to consider is even though there are many many women who would like an American husband,most Colombianas already have a Colombian husaband.We are dealing with the ones who have decided they don't want another Colombian.Been there had enough of that.But this is a small percentage of the population.
Even with extensive experience words like "common" can be a judgement.The question is what do you base your judgements on?So give us a little imformation here as to why you know so much about this subject.Have you even been to Colombia?How many times?For how long?How many Colombians do you know?
How many marriages of Americans and Colombianas are you PERSONALLY familiar with(As in friends and aquantances?)
Your statements have the sound of somebody philosophysing,not speaking from experience.Fill us in here.Am I wrong about this?Maybe you did go but had a bad experience you are judging everything else from.Maybe your experience is with another culture like Russian or Asian and you are making sweeping generalizations about latinas from that.Maybe you have never left home at all.
And remember words like "no Colombiana would even look" set you up to be wrong every time.
Remember in life most people either get they  want or develop a good excuse why not.Sounds like you are specializing in the excuse.It can't be true,its not possible,ain't it awfull,it won't last,they will be sorry,its not fair,ect.ect.
There are lots of guys happily married to latinas who if they had listened to fearfull and unimformed opinions,many times from their own family,would still be unhappily single.
We agree that character is the first requirement,but your comment "don't get blinded by the skin" leads me to think you are knocking latinas,as in they can't be that good.In my opinion they are by far the best choice for a foreign wife,no other area is even a close second.The reason?Values,character and family influence.Now I do admit I do have a somewhat uninformed bias against Russians.I have never been there and never considereed it,but I have read so many horror stories and not many success stories.

Pete