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Author Topic: whats happening now  (Read 2104 times)
mck
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« on: March 27, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

Well I have been calling my girlfriend in Mexico everyday now since I got back on these $5.00 phone cards. I can speak about 40 minutes. It is not a bad deal at all. Anyway she is waiting for her tourist visa to get renewed. This girl does not seem to be a shark at all. She is basically from a fairly upper middle class mexican family. Her father is a telecommunitations engineer, her sister is a accountant and her other sister is a lawyer, so she is not exactly poor. Anyway she was telling me how her father bought her a piece of land where she wants to build a winter home in Guadalajara and she also wants to buy a new Jetta, the only problem is she recently lost her job 4 weeks ago as a nurse and she wants to come to the states to work. She has never asked me one time for money and she almost always refuses money when I offer to it her. She is a very independent person but she basically wants to come up and live with me. She says she wants to work like 60-70 hours a week when she comes up here. I explained to her that it is illegal to work on a tourist visa in the United States. I explained to her the K1 visa is a better alternative but we would have to be married within 90 days. She was not to keen on the idea of getting married right away nor am I. She and I would much rather just live together as boyfriend and girlfriend but from an immigration standpoint it is probably the best way to do things and we both agree it would be best for us. We do both love each other very much and I do trust her. She has been very upfront with me from the begining and told me her main reason to move to the United States was to work and to find a guy who will be faithful to her and treat her well. Anyway from my experience if you speak spanish well, Mexican women are generally very upfront with you and very honest and generally don't have alterior motives. Just to give you an example, one girl I met down there was one month pregnant. You could not even tell she was knocked up but at least she was honest with me. I mean she could of slept with me and called me 9 months later and said I was the father of her child. I am just saying that is the one thing I value about Mexican women is there honesty and truthfullness and that is why I would not have wanted to pick a girl from any other country. I mean I know how the scenario is basically going to work out. She is going to come up here on a K1, get married to me, work tons of hours, hord all her money she earns in a seperate bank account from mine. I mean I can live with that. She pretty much has the view that my money is my money and her money is her money. I guess there can be worse situations.
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Jeff S
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« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to whats happening now, posted by mck on Mar 27, 2002

You might want to check out a thread in the archives titles "Getting a Nurse to the US" here:

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/archive00088/

It might give her some options you haven't considered. Right now there's a big nursing shortage in the US so they're issuing plenty of work visas to foreign nationals.

Also, I agree with ou about Guadalajara. Great town, great people, lot of fun. It would be a great place for a vacation home if you two connect up. I do think, though, that the money attitude, if you eventualy do get married, will lead to lots of conflict having income separate and trying to dole out bills separately. It doesn't sound like she's ready for marriage yet, but before you guys do it, you need to really talk through ths issue. That's not a marriage, a partnership, splitting bills. The scene in "The Joy Luck Club" where the couple is arguing about who has to buy the cat food is exactly what this leads to. Either you're a team or you're not. My own marriage started out that way and almost ended up in disaster. It was only after we "mingled" our assets that we got along financially. Now she handles the household bills, I the investments, and we both discuss and work out major purchases. It's worked out great and she's become more frugal and has stashed more in the joint savings account than I ever did.

-- Jeff S.

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