peru

[chevy]

any agencies in peru anyone knows about? any noticable difference in ladies from Peru compared to other countries? Maybe they are not spoiled because they do not get the attention like the ladies in cali and bogota get? Just an assumption?

[Buck]

... in response to peru, posted by chevy on Mar 8, 2002

Just returned from Peru the 1st of March.I had corresponded with a lady from there for 4 months.We met and the magic was there.I popped the question and she is now my novia.She is beautiful.I saw a lot of good looking ladies down there.Mine has all the qualities I was loooking for.She is sweet,warm,intelligent and took good care of me while I was there.I found her thru Amigos International.Now I am trying to figure out the K-1 process.Any advise will be appreciated.Tom

[Wayne]

... in response to Re: peru, posted by Buck on Mar 10, 2002

No es bueno jugar con las personas de esa forma ya que cuando una toma la descicion de vivir con otra persona y fuera del pais esta dejando toda una vida, buena regular o mala es lo propio pues se tiene un empleo, apartamento en fin  y si decides viajar a otro pais con un hombre no es para jugar al sexo si no para formar una familia.
El dejar todo por alguien es realmente valioso y por lo tanto es muy dificil regresar ya que lo mas seguro es que no encuentres nada de lo que en el pasado era tu vida
esposa de Wayne

[Wayne]

... in response to Re: peru, posted by Buck on Mar 10, 2002

Buck,

Congrats on your search.  If it's right, it's right.

I'm just curious, how does your Novia feel about the "try before you buy program" (the K-1)

Most Latino women don't like to quit their jobs, give up their apartment, and tell their family they are moving in with their American novio to shack up, and see if things work out enough in the 90 days to actually get married.  When I was in Colombia, the girls had a real bad attitude toward K-1s.  It was embarrassing for them to take off with a man without getting married 1st.  I heard them talking about this at Latin Encounters.

I can't really blame them because K-1s are good for the guy, but lousy for the girl.  The guy doesn't have to give up much, if it doesn't work out.  The girl goes back home to nothing.

Any of you other guys heard much from the girls on this issue?

Wayne

[Buck]

... in response to Re: Re: peru, posted by Wayne on Mar 10, 2002

I gave my novia the choice of marrying in Peru or the USA.She made the choice.Thanks for the good thoughts.Buck

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: peru, posted by Wayne on Mar 10, 2002

I think it's usefull to keep in mind that the vast majority of marriages in Colombia are really just "union libres", or commonlaw marriages. The difference between ours and theirs is that the union takes on all kinds of legal status after just two years. Also don't forget: bigamy was recently legalized in Colombia so maybe an argument could be made with immigration for bringing over two. But seriously, in light of Colombian custom the fiance visa is not an exagerated prospect. I know personally of two  succesfull marriages (three years now) and the both began with fiance visas.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: peru, posted by Cali vet on Mar 10, 2002


I don't know if it's a vast majority but I'll agree with you that MANY younger couples in Colombia never get married but rather live together.  The unmarried couples often have children and yet they refer to each other as husband and wife.  This struck me as particularly odd when I first encountered it.  I was surprised by the frequency of these unions within families that I knew of and within the agency sub-culture.

When I first came to Colombia, I had a lot of false ideas in my mind about life in Colombia because of what others had said regarding the culture being more conservative, traditional, Catholic etc.  I think these ideas are more myth than anything else but that's just my opinion.

Regarding K-1 Visa's, I tend to agree with you.  I think shacking up is pretty common in Colombia among the young and I think most agency girls in Cali for instance wouldn't have much problem with a K-1.  

I suspect Peru may be more old fashioned than Colombia however.  I found that in my travels to Bolivia for instance, that attidudes toward sex, marriage etc. were more in keeping with the thoughts of previous generations.  It's only a theory but I believe the large indigenious population where customs change much more slowly, may be the reason for this difference.

El Diablo

[Cali vet]

... in response to Peru, posted by El Diablo on Mar 10, 2002

Some Cali girls have told me they see the union libre as perfectly acceptable but of course they won't get to the US that way. Your comments about Peru and Bolivia sound reasonable and likely. Haven't been there yet but hope to one day.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: peru, posted by Buck on Mar 10, 2002

Hey Tom,

I'm glad you had a great time on your vacation to Peru but what's the rush with popping the question.  I'm not comparing American women to latin ones but in your wildest dreams can you imagine asking someone to marry you here who you had only spent a week or two with in person.  Every relationship is great during the initial infatuation or magic period as you called it and because of this, it's the absolute worst time to pop the question, well at least that's my opinion.

Anyway my best advice is to slow down and reconsider your accelerated time line.  Why not make another trip or two to see if you and your lady are good together over time. If it's meant to be, it'll happen and a few extra months won't matter but if it's not you'll save your lady a lot of heartache.

Your bio says that you're 54 years old and so old enough to have adult children of your own.  If you had a daughter, what advice would you give her if she had agreed to marry a foriegn man who she had only met for a short time on his one visit to our country?  Well I know what my advice would be.  

I'm not trying to rain on your parade but I'm just amazed when I read these stories of guys popping the question during the first trip.  Sure it's worked out for some guys but it's been a nightmare for others.  Anyway, good luck....

El Diablo

[Buck]

... in response to Slooooow Down, posted by El Diablo on Mar 10, 2002

Thanks for the advice.Hope to make second trip in May.I went down there trying to keep my eyes open.But after a couple of days all I could think was "what am I waiting for".Still a lot of time for things to go wrong.But do appreciate the advice.

[papa suave]

... in response to Slooooow Down, posted by El Diablo on Mar 10, 2002

Just curious, what was the question you popped? You said "now she's my novia". The term novia can mean you're simply boyfriend/girlfriend or that you're getting married. I don't want to jump to conclusions but you're not already engaged are you? If that is the case, I certainly wish you the best, but what's the rush?

[Buck]

... in response to Re: Slooooow Down, posted by papa suave on Mar 10, 2002

We are engaged.No rush.Just good vibes.

[Viajero]

... in response to Re: Slooooow Down, posted by papa suave on Mar 10, 2002

When I met my novia her mother asked me what were
my intentions. She was concerned that in the
enthusiasm of a new relationship we might act in
haste. I told her that for the first 6 months we would do
nothing but get acquainted, and if all went well we'd
see in 6 months what would happen next. Both mom
and novia were OK with that.

IMHO, if a girl is in too much of a hurry this is a red flag.
One of the key character traits I was looking for is
patience, and mi novia has shown me that she has it.
I'm in this for the long haul, and a lack of patience is
detrimental to a happy marriage.

Wait. If the relationship will last a lifetime it will last a
few months of courtship.

[Buck]

... in response to Slow Is Good, posted by Viajero on Mar 10, 2002

My novia was not in a hurry.I was not in a hurry.After a few days together I realised that this was the person I had looked for for most of my life.We seemed as old friends and just fit together.I love her and am sure in my mind she loves me.We all know it takes a long time for the K-1 to get her here.I will be visiting her a few more times before that.I do appreciate the concern and advice.I will keep all advised on any developments.Thanks to all.

[Onephd]

... in response to Re: Slow Is Good, posted by Buck on Mar 10, 2002

I can understand everyone's concern, but being that you plan to go the K-1 visa route and you have plans to continue visiting before the marriage. I think you're ok and on the right track.  

I would have to believe that your telephone converstations and emails were probably very productive and instrumental in terms of both of you really getting to know each other prior to your visit?

I believe if you have develop a good sincere friendship before you go, then it's more likely that you'll have a  good & positive meeting.

Sure physical chemistry is important but I have to think that if you truly get to know them before you arrive, then the actual meeting will only confirm your priors about them and a possible relationship. (i.e. no surprises)

Best of luck to you and remember that hard part is now just starting.  Making the relationship work will be harder than finding the right lady IMHO.