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Author Topic: The "dark side"  (Read 43497 times)
Hoda
Guest
« Reply #60 on: February 25, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Sub-Culture -- Compelling, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 24, 2002


and adapting to changes in lifestyle (single to couple) requires work from both parties. I have to agree that relying on "ESL classes & girls from her country" is really being lazy, in regards to helping your new esposa adjust to life here. I've lived "around" Latin culture all my life, but it wasn't until Stivalis came into my life, that I started "living" the culture. I find it sometimes difficult, but always fascinating living & learning a new language & culture. Our home will be bi-lingual. I want to learn as much about her language & culture, as she does mine.
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Aaron
Guest
« Reply #61 on: February 25, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Feeling at home..., posted by Hoda on Feb 25, 2002


I've already decided long ago, I want my future kids to have Spanish first names and definitely bilingual. I'm going pro Latino !!!!!!!!! With a plate of rice and beans on a regular basis !!!!!!!!! For real.  

Aaron
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Cali vet
Guest
« Reply #62 on: February 25, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Now I like this idea !!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Aaron on Feb 25, 2002

Don't forget yuca and platano with that rice and beens! It's the best.
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Aaron
Guest
« Reply #63 on: February 26, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Now I like this idea !!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Cali vet on Feb 25, 2002

...
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Cali vet
Guest
« Reply #64 on: February 26, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Arroz con coco tambien mi negro............, posted by Aaron on Feb 26, 2002

You've been hangin' in B/quilla.
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Aaron
Guest
« Reply #65 on: February 26, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to !Costeno!, posted by Cali vet on Feb 26, 2002

...
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HappyInBrazil
Guest
« Reply #66 on: February 25, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Feeling at home..., posted by Hoda on Feb 25, 2002

n/t
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Hoda
Guest
« Reply #67 on: February 25, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Any update on when she will arrive?  n/t, posted by HappyInBrazil on Feb 25, 2002


n/t
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HappyInBrazil
Guest
« Reply #68 on: February 25, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Soon come bro, soon come....lol............, posted by Hoda on Feb 25, 2002

I hope she comes soon.

I don't regret coming down here, although I will have some worries when we return.  It will be easier to face together.
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El Diablo
Guest
« Reply #69 on: February 24, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Just curious, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 24, 2002


I knew the gringo only by phone and email.  He was a nice guy, late 30's or ealy 40's, smart, good job and my ex told me he was an attractive guy.  He wasn't a first timer in Cali either.

I met the gal but I wouldn't say that I knew her.  She was about 18 or 19 at the time, tall about 5'9'', and quite attractive.  Her parents were professionals, a doctor and professor if I remember correctly but not rich.  From what I've learned from other gringos who really knew her, she had a unique quality about her that the guys liked.  She appeared extremely sweet and believable.  It came as quite a shock to them that she was involved in this.

I'm aware of some other things that I did not mention that should have been red flags for the gringo.  In his defence, other people were fooled by her too.

El Diablo
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MarkInTx
Guest
Age
« Reply #70 on: February 24, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Just curious, posted by El Diablo on Feb 24, 2002

You can say that a 10 -15 year age gap is common in Cali...

But she was 18???

Remember what you were like when you were 18, guys?

IMHO, even if you are only 29, you shouldn't be getting involved with an 18 year old.

Flame away if you want... but I think that an 18 year old is just too young to even consider what it means ot leave family and friends and go to a foriegn land as a wife.

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Cali vet
Guest
« Reply #71 on: February 24, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Age, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 24, 2002

I don't know whose account you are referring to. Mine involves a guy 35 with a calena 21 or 22. But you're right about 18 year old city girls. Not good marriage material. Out in the pueblos it's a little different.
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MarkInTx
Guest
BTW
« Reply #72 on: February 24, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Age, posted by Cali vet on Feb 24, 2002

I know that the theory is that women mature faster in other cultures... but in my opinion, 21 or 22 is still awfully young... Especially if the guy is 30 something.

Hey... anyone can make whatever decision he wants.

I'm just saying that I wouldn't look at a woman under 25 no matter how old I was.

I just think that you have to be a fairly mature woman to understand what is going to be required of you to pick up and move to another land with a man you -- really -- don't know.

And 18 year old or a 21 year old might THINK she knows what she is doing. And she may be as sincere as she can be in her INTENTIONS.

I just don't think I have met any 21 year olds in my life (and that includes some "mature" 21 year olds in Russia) who could honestly count the cost of that decision. I think a lot of them are simply caught up in the romance of it all...

Not that she might not make it work out anyway. That is always possible.

But... Give me the older woman (is 26 THAT old???) who understands what she is doing...and does it anyway... I think I can make a MUCH better life with her.

BTW, for those of you seeking women with no children... nothing will mature a person -- man or woman -- faster than having kids...

You sure you want a 21 year old who has never done anything except live as a child...Huh
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Cali vet
Guest
« Reply #73 on: February 24, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to BTW, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 24, 2002

Setting age thresholds is a personal matter. What makes one guy feel secure may be exagerated "risk management" to another. My impression from the relationships I've observed that are working is that success with a colombiana has more to do with compatability and mutual understanding than any other factor. Of course when there are language and culture barriers to overcome that can be a tall order regardless of age.
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MarkInTx
Guest
« Reply #74 on: February 24, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »
... in response to Re: Age, posted by Cali vet on Feb 24, 2002

El D said:

"She was about 18 or 19 at the time, tall about 5'9'', and quite attractive. "

That's too young...

IMHO
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