Hey Forum folks,
This is an old story from my first trip to Colombia. I was exchanging tales with another Colombia traveler. He got a kick out of this one and suggested I post it here. -A little change of pace for the board...perhaps it may even hit close to home with a couple of you out there. 
I had been in Colombia for a couple weeks, and Gianni, my amiga's cousin, asked me if I had seen much of Barranquilla yet...
I say "Nah, aside from the malls and something remotely resembling a zoo." Gianni laughs and says "Ay, hombre...tienes que conocer la ciudad!" translation: "Aw man, you have to get to know the city!" He volunteers to take me out, and tells me he'll pick me up Saturday at 11:00pm.
Saturday arrives...
Gianni shows up with an entourage, all "hyped" for a night out. The women are dancing in the street as we're waiting for cabs. -Just from the size of the group, we know off the top that it is going to be a multiple cab thing.
We finally see a group of cabs coming up the street, wave them down, and do the price negotiation(always get the price BEFORE you get into the cab) for the ride to La Estacion and Mr Babilla's, the clubs of choice. The cab driver tries to hold out for a little more because La Estacion and Mr B's are on the far side of town from where we are, but Gianni keeps talking him down. Finally the guy concedes and says "bueno" and we pile into his little Daewoo. Gianni, smiling, says "you can ride up front with the driver" then smashes into the back of the cab with my amiga and two other women.
Everything is relatively cool for a couple of blocks as we get caught at consecutive red lights, with exception that the cab driver tends speed too much in between the cross streets and ends up having to slam hard on the brakes as cars pull across the road, in front of us.
Then at this last light as we are waiting for the light to change, the cab driver starts revving the engine and playing with the clutch...the car is rolling back and forth like you see at drag races. I'm sitting there like, what is up with that? I look through the windshield and see this LOOONG straight-away. In the distance, the stoplights are changing green one block at a time, working back towards us. Can you say "pole position"?
I feel somebody tapping me on the shoulder. I look over my shoulder, and Gianni is making this gesture; "put on your selt belt". I glance at the cab driver, and this dude is concentrating big time at some point off in the distance...and I suddenly get nervous.
The light turns green just as I grab the strap, and he peels off....SCREEEEECH! I mean this dude is straight mashin down the street shifting gears like somebody is chasing us. I look at the speedometer...30..40...50...I'm like, "oh sh@#!" I click the buckle
secure and grab the door handle. I'm staring through the windshield watching helplessly as this fool runs yellow lights...barely making it through the intersection before they turn red.
We pass through this last intersection before a LONG block, and this fool has it floored...I mean we are bouncing and swerving at high speed...Mario Confetti was trying to avoid big crater-sized potholes in the street and STILL make the lights.
All of a sudden the women in the backseat start SCREAMING and pointing. I look up and the light at the upcoming intersection is BRIGHT RED, and this fool shifts in into 5th and gets onto the gas harder.
One cab goes across the intersection, then another....
He glances at me with a big grin on his face and starts hitting the horn to signal that HE'S COMING THROUGH...oh, did I mention that stopping at stoplights after dark in Barranquilla...is optional?
So, the women are screaming, Gianni is laughing his @ss off hysterically, the cab driver is now laughing, and I'm sitting in the front seat petrified; EYES WIDE OPEN in complete shock, saying my prayers...and imagining the impact that is likely to happen when we hit the intersection. -On my side of the car no less.
The road curves just a little and the wheels start squealing. I look at the speedometer....60...70. -70!!!...in a Daewoo??!!! DAAYYUUM!!
I mean we are straight WHO-ridin(a wild crazy ride).
We get closer....closer...closer...I see the side light turn yellow...I'm like, "please change, please change..." GREEN LIGHT! YES!! Cabbie numbnuts blows through the intersection like he forgot there was a brake pedal on the floor.
I'm almost ready to relax...I'm thinking, this guy has been a cab driver for who knows how long. He probably knows these lights like the back of his hand, just be cool, it'll be okay.
Then I look through the windshield and I see an overpass. Let me correct that, a Barranquilla overpass...basically a small rise or bridge in the road for crossing over areas in the city where the water runs(deep) through the city during heavy rains.
Anyway...a Barranquilla overpass is just that, at 20 mph.
...at 70mph it is a RAMP.
FINALLY he comes off the gas, drops it into 4th and the engine squeals like its about to blow up....he taps the brake a couple times drops it into 3rd and again the engine squeals. I'm like, whew, thank you lord. Then... BAM! This idiot jumps on the gas again,
35...40...45...SHIFT...50...52...and we hit the overpass. WHOAH SHIIIIIIII#!!
EVERYBODY is screaming, me included, and the car is AIR-BORNE(I kid you not)...we do not even touch the other side of the overpass. We clear it completely and land on the street...KA-BANG!..SCREECH! We're bouncing all over the inside of the cab....and I lose it, "What the @#%& do you think you're doin you stupid mother$#@%*!"
He throws us into another HARD curve, then slams on the brakes, SCREEEEEEEECH! He looks over with a grin and says, "listo". I glance out the window and we are sitting in front of the club. I jump out of the cab and give him a REAL string of "descriptions" about himself.
Gianni is laughing, he quickly jumps out and pulls me back away from the cab "You're cursing him in English, he doesn't understand you...tell him in Spanish".
I tell Gianni, "No, English or not, his crazy @ss knows what the @#%$ I'm saying."
Gianni tosses a bill through the passenger window, and the guy immediately peels off, accelerating up the street. I watch him disappear around the curve, squealing tires and all. Gianni watches me, laughing, and slaps me on the back. "Welcome to Barranquilla." he says.
-It was another ten minutes before the other cabs arrived at the club.
