Life in the states

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Rein in your anger, posted by John O on Feb 9, 2002


Whoa... really?

I work with a guy from Colombia.

Every time he goes off (which is often) everyone just shrugs and says: "He's Colombian" as though that explains it.

I thought that Colombians were famous for flashpoint tempers. In fact, I thought that was one of the most commonly listed reason as to why Colombian women are looking abroad.

Just how much screaming DID you do at the highway???

[John O]

... in response to Your Temper is worse than a Colombian's?..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 9, 2002

Although I've visited Colombia many times, I haven't gotten to know many Colombian men well, so it's difficult to make a comparison. But I've taught English to hundreds of Latin American students, and my Latina students (in addition to the many LW I've met & dated) frequently complain of spouses & boyfriends who are unfaithful, machista, jealous & controlling. So overall, I'm sure I'd make a better spouse than most LM.

I've certainly known my share of quick-tempered, unforgiving Latina ladies, so I imagine that Latino men are a good deal worse in this respect.

I really don't think my brief outburst (30 sec. max) was a  compelling factor in my novia's leaving me. She later said she was "inestable" & afraid of a commitment. The opposite of most Colombianas.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to You Talkin' to ME??? (grin), posted by John O on Feb 10, 2002


Well,

Maybe it wasn't so much commitment... as a commitment that would take her thiusands of miles from home...?

[John O]

... in response to Commitment, posted by MarkInTx on Feb 11, 2002

While she did express doubts about staying in the U.S. she remained in Miami & eventually hooked up w/a Puertorican boyfriend. Last I heard.

She'd dumped 2 previous (Colombian) boyfriends when they wanted to marry her, so I got that this was sort of a pattern of hers. And I wasn't the one destined to break it.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Commitment-Phobe, posted by John O on Feb 11, 2002

Yeah... better now than later.

I would rather be dumped by a girlfriend than a wife... any day

[greg]

... in response to Re: On the contrary, the report is excit..., posted by Wayne on Feb 8, 2002

))

[Tai]

... in response to Re: On the contrary, the report is excit..., posted by Wayne on Feb 8, 2002

Wayne,

You have created a classic post that should be set aside as REQUIRED reading; for newbies that come to the board and ask for info on this endeavor, AS WELL AS those in preparations of bringing their wives or fiances to the states.

Well done...."dos pulgares arriba"!!

Tai

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: On the contrary, the report is excit..., posted by Wayne on Feb 8, 2002

n/t

[Bueller]

... in response to Re: On the contrary, the report is excit..., posted by Wayne on Feb 8, 2002

Great post, Wayne. Your point about raising your voice and arguing reminds me of a great little book I´ve been reading called the RoMANtic´s guide, by Michael Webb (http://www.theromantic.com). He devotes a short segment to the the concept of "just say 'no' to fighting", and has never fought with his wife in ten years of marriage.

  Also, when you mention not trying to find latinoamericana friends for your wife, that reminds me of a thread I heard about on the Russian board a couple of years ago, about not getting your RW involved with other RWs since it´s just asking for trouble, exposing her to corrupting influences. Maybe you were a party to that thread. I doubt the risk is as high with latinoamericanas, but there are some who would like to "enlighten" your wife.

  Keep the good posts coming.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: On the contrary, the report is excit..., posted by Wayne on Feb 8, 2002

Wayne,

You take this stuff for granted, but its pure gold.

Any time you rememeber stuff like this, please post it.

Ive been reading the P-L site for over a year, and this was one of the best posts I have ever read.

Again, I'm not worried about finding a woman. I am worried about having a good life once I do.

Keep this up. It's not boring. And It's not obvious.

And I, for one, am taking notes!

[Edge]

... in response to Life in the states, posted by Wayne on Feb 7, 2002

Wayne - I can echo what you say about the need to be " really patient" in the adjustment time.. I wanted to kind of let Stezo know this also since he is getting married soon and starting the next step of this adventure living with the latinas/colombianas.  

That is the greatest lesson I have been learning, is the need for patience.  I am reminded of the words of wisdom: Love is always patient and kind....  It is not always easy, but that is what is needed.  Don't sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff, would also apply for me.

I think if you are patient and do well in relationships, then you have a leg up being with a latina.  However, these are still women we are talking about and there can be adjustment issues, thus the need to be patient and kind, while things move along.

Good luck and it sounds like all is well Wayne...

[Pete E]

... in response to Life in the states, posted by Wayne on Feb 7, 2002

Wayne,
Sounds like she is adjusting well.Since she was not close to her family that probably helps.My wife is very close to her family and missed them greatly when she came here.Same thing after we returned from vacation.She talks to them almost every day.
About the juices,if you can find a latino market that has Colombian food they have these frozen block juices.I thought it was like a popsickle,but its a little juice block,you throw it in the blender and it makes great juice,there are many flavors.Like nothing else I have seen here.Before she found these my wife made alot of juice from fresh fruit.

Pete