Hey guys:
First, I just want to mention how incredibly informative and beneficial this discussion board is for those (like myself) who are contemplating searching for a foreign bride. IMHO, there is absolutely no substitute for first hand information and this forum certainly seems to provide plenty.
As the thread title suggests, I have been lurking for a couple of weeks, trying to educate myself and learn as much as possible regarding the prospects, process, positives and potential pitfalls of this endeavor. Although most every topic of importance has been discussed at length either here or in the archives, I just thought I would take a moment to introduce myself and provide a few thoughts so I might actually begin interacting with other posters here.
Quick intro/background: I am a 39-year-old single (never married) male (6’/175lbs/brown/blue) with a graduate level education and a moderately comfortable $100k income. I own my own home located directly on Lake Ponchartrain near New Orleans, LA. In my spare time I enjoy sailing and restoring vintage sports cars. I spent the first 10 years following college flying jets for the navy and the last six as a sales manager for an international electrical manufacturer.
Like the vast majority of you I suspect, there isn’t anything really wrong or unappealing about me, but having failed to meet “Ms. Right” during the traditional period between age 25 and 35, I now found myself with many fewer choices and much less time with which to explore them. Specifically, (unless the man in question is incredibly rich) most American women seem only interested in dating men approximately their age and for me, that means divorcee’s with a couple of children from the previous marriage.
While I have nothing against children, everyone knows the man takes somewhat of a back seat (in terms of affection and importance) once a woman bears offspring. While that is certainly quite fine if the children happen to be half yours, it doesn’t seem like such a good deal when they were fathered by a man your new wife couldn’t live with (who may be still around) and the aforementioned “back seat” comes with financial/moral responsibility of raising, educating and caring for the former husband’s kids who will one day in heated argument remind you in no uncertain terms that “you are not my father!”
There is also the issue of age. Its amazing to me how many American women in their late thirties believe they should be dating men no more than two years their senior. Although you might not agree, IMHO there is quite a difference in relative youthfulness between a 38 year old women and the same aged man…especially if the woman has spent the past 10-12 years raising children. Remember when your 16 year old prom date was 3” taller than you and seemingly much more mature? While that biological phenomenon might’ve served the girls well when they are interested in dating college sophomores while still in high school, it comes back to bite them in the butt once they pass 35. In short, while I couldn’t date a 14 year old when I was 24, I can certainly date a 29 year old at age 39.
American women also expect you to live nearby. As such, my prospects for finding a U.S. wife extend to roughly a fifty mile radius of New Orleans, LA. Suffice it to say that finding an attractive, intelligent, marriage/family-minded single girl between the age of 28-32 without children willing to date a guy 7-10 years her senior is no easy task…especially with my job commitments. However, when I do manage to find one, they are often so materialistic and shallow that you have to wonder whether their primary attraction is to you or your bank accounts.
Which brings me to the “mail-order bride” possibility. Having spent 10 years in the navy and traveled to or lived in 33 foreign countries, I have had significant exposure to various cultures. What I have found is that the mail order bride phenomenon is based almost solely upon economics with a little bit of Darwinian “survival of the species” thrown in for good measure. While we might all like to believe girls are just naturally attracted to Americans, the fact is the mail order bride industry amounts to little more than an international version of “Who wants to marry a millionaire?” The only difference being with Americans earning 10-20 times the per capita GNP of a similar male in these developing countries, one doesn’t actually have to possess a million dollars to be able to attract women by offering the prospect of a better lifestyle.
Of course, most foreign cultures are largely male-dominate and women from these countries might be attracted by the equality afforded, respect shown and affection delivered to a wife by a typical American male. However, I would submit that is hardly sufficient justification to leave one’s homeland, family and familiar surroundings with a near stranger and bound for a strange country. The primary rational for inter-cultural (mail-order bride style) marriages is almost always fundamentally economic.
I saw this first hand during naval service in the Philippines in the late ‘80s where girls would almost marry the first sailor, who asked them in order to escape poverty, build a better life and possibly help their families. Although I certainly appreciated the sincerity, honesty, devotion, work ethic and beauty of the average Pilipino girl, I was young at the time and pretty much convinced my future lay with an American wife. However, my best friend did marry a beautiful Pilipino girl some 10 years his junior and a decade later, they have children and one of the best relationships I’ve ever seen. It does work out, but he knew (initially) her agreement to marry was based upon a certainty of economic improvement and a hope for future (rather than present) love.
While my friend’s wife continuously suggests I allow her to set me up with a nice Pilipino girl, I guess my personal tastes have always gravitated toward more Anglo features vice the Spanish Asian influence found in the Philippines. Nonetheless, their successful, happy and fruitful marriage has inspired me to explore the possibility of finding lasting happiness with a foreign bride.
I guess my biggest question for those “in the know” is why are Columbian women willing to leave their country for marriage to American men? While I have personal experience in the Philippines where poverty is rampant, theirs was also a very Americanized culture where English was taught in grade schools and the USA was basically held up as nirvana. However, Columbians are nearly twice as affluent as the average Pilipino. Please see economic comparison below (Per Capita GNP is rough equivalent of average annual income):
Country---------Rank ------------Per Capita GNP
United States-----2-----------------$33000
Argentina--------47------------------$9300
Mexico-----------48------------------$8700
Panama-----------59------------------$7300
Costa Rica-------63-------------------$6800
Brazil---------- 68-------------------$6000
Columbia ------- 69-------------------$5900
Peru------------ 83-------------------$4200
China----------- 88------------------ $3850
Philippines------95-------------------$3300
Russia-----------124------------------$2100
Cuba-------------139------------------$1650
I guess my confusion surrounds economics. It seems Argentineans, Mexicans, Panamanians and Costa Ricans aren’t throwing themselves at Americans, but Colombian women seem to be somewhat eager to possibly find foreign mates.
I have read about the incredibly high murder rate, political instability, high (20%) unemployment and propensity for Columbian men to treat wives as second class citizens and keep mistresses on the side. However, is this enough to encourage women to advertise for foreign husbands and leave their country and families behind?
I guess I could understand the Pilipino perspective as I earn more in a day than most there earn in 3-4 weeks. In addition, they are very much Americanized having been ostensibly a U.S. colony since the Spanish-American War. Despite the vast distance, America really just represented a much wealthier and more developed version of their world sans jungles and a predominately Asian population. They actually seemed eager to leave and the only horror stories involved guys who married “bar girls” and those who insisted upon emigrating their entire extended family.
For the most part however, Pilipino girls seemed quite grateful and happy to be married to an American and living comfortably in the U.S. Are Columbian girls similar in this regard? One of my navy buddies was married to a Panamanian and she was one of the most attractive, intelligent, warm-hearted and fun-loving women I think I’ve ever met.
I’ve noted some have mentioned LA women are very protective of their mate…I noticed this about my friend’s wife in that she made it known who she was attached to and never gave him reason to stray. They seemed very happy together and despite the many temptations of Philippine deployments, he never seemed interested in chasing women.
I apologize for length of this message. Just wanted to dive in and get some feedback regarding some of my thoughts. I’ll continue to visit and hope to begin posting regularly. Of course, not in such length. 
Thanks again.
