Courtship in Cali

[Ken Power]

Gents....

I was wondering what the average length of a courtship is in Cali. I have read several posts were men have "popped the question" in as little as three days!  I understand that this is the main purpose of joining an agency for the lady.  But, are her parents usually informed that she is looking for a husband and that she belongs to an agency?  And that she may walk thru the door one day soon with the soon to be son in law?  Sounds odd to me.  Is this the norm?  
One other question.  The term "arm candy" has come up a time or two.  What does this mean.  I know what "eye candy" is, but not arm candy.

Gracias

Ken

[npaulson]

... in response to Courtship in Cali, posted by Ken Power on Dec 5, 2001

I met Stela on a Sunday in July, 2001, and knew in the first few minutes I wanted to marry her.  The next day I got her paperwork for a marriage visa and returned to US.  She then became scared about the quickness of my decision and delayed our marriage plans for a few months.  I returned in August and she did not want to see me.  I continued to email her and call her occasionally and she became interested again.  I came to Cali again in October and spent 5 days with her.  We were married November 4 and she is in US now.  We are both adjusting, but happy!

[npaulson]

... in response to Re: Courtship in Cali, posted by npaulson on Dec 6, 2001

My meeting Stela took place on my 6th trip to Cali.  I was interested in other girls on the earlier trips and became engaged to one earlier, but her family did not approve of her marriage to an american, so she did not go through with it.  It took 4 years time before I married.  Good luck to you!

[Ken Power]

... in response to Re: Courtship in Cali, posted by npaulson on Dec 6, 2001

Approx cost (under $5,000 for all expences).

Curious

[pack]

... in response to Courtship in Cali, posted by Ken Power on Dec 5, 2001

3 days to 3 years

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Courtship in Cali, posted by pack on Dec 6, 2001

.....

[Patrick]

... in response to Courtship in Cali, posted by Ken Power on Dec 5, 2001

I think you should forget about the average length of time courtships last and just be sure about what you personally are doing before you actually do it.

Some guys pop the question pretty quickly.  Some guys feel pressured by the "competition" and think they have to act fast or lose the girl.  Some guys just meet the special lady and know very quickly.  Some guys are idiots and simply marry the first piece of arm candy that says yes.  Arm candy is similar to "trophy wife" and describes a woman who the man marrys for her adornment potential (she looks good walking arm in arm with him).  Some guys take their time and get to know many ladies before choosing, then take a long time to get to know the one lady very well before marrying.  Some guys are into this with absolutely no intention of getting married and go for quite a long time visiting the agencies to date women younger and more beautiful than they could here.  Some guys never get over the cold feet, especially about marrying a "mail order bride".

Every man is unique and should do what he's personally comfortable with.  If you're a big risk-taker, poping the question in 4 days may be something you're willing to do.

There are some ladies who don't tell their families what they're doing. I don't really have a good feel for what kind of percentage don't tell anyone, but I think it's a lower percentage than that of the men (who often don't tell their friends and family what they're doing either).

[Pete E]

... in response to Courtship in Cali, posted by Ken Power on Dec 5, 2001

Ken,
Arm candy is eye candy hanging on your arm.
Average coutship.I don't know the percentages but the catagories.There are guys who get married on their first trip.(5-10%?)This does happen,but what he quickly finds out is he needs to come home and put his documents in order to get her a spousal visa when she comes here,and go back down for her first interview at the US Embassy.Some guys are serious enough to have forsaw this and get the paperwork together before they go.Now thats a serious guy.
Then there are guys like me who find her and get engaged on the first trip and get married on the second trip)(20%?)Most guys probably make several trips before they marry her(30%-40%?).
Then there is the fiance visa,and if the girl is willing to do this many guys will agree to it right away.It still takes alot of paperwork,but the guy does not have to return.I bet this is the largest group(30%-40%?)
Of course I'm talking about guys that actually get married.There is another catagory,the player,who decides the hunt is more fun than getting married.This could be a hobby for years.
Just a guess.What you do is up to you,but if you meet the girl that seems just right you will probably speed up your
preconceived schedule.

Pete

[Ken Power]

... in response to Re: Courtship in Cali, posted by Pete E on Dec 6, 2001

I recently saw a post where the fellow was engaged in 20 hours (and married shortly threafter.)

[npaulson]

... in response to Re: Re: Courtship in Cali, posted by Ken Power on Dec 6, 2001

There is no point in bragging about the minimim time it takes to find a wife.  It is not like bass fishing where you get a trophy for the first fish caught.  Relationships are important and just like dating in the states, its important to develop some understanding, predictability and companionship prior to marriage, but on the other hand you can pretty well tell what you are looking for and when you see it you know.  There are alot of women there that are not wife material.  Ugly, fat, self-centered, too tall, too short, each guy has some perameters for what he is looking for and personality takes some time to explore.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Courtship in Cali, posted by Pete E on Dec 6, 2001

My wife didn't tell her family she joined the agency.When she met me she told them about it and introdced me to them They accepted me right away.

Pete