My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!

[nrvana]

I do not know if you guy remember my post about 4 weeks ago about the the young lady I met on "friendfinder.com" and am going to marry.  Well, you guys flamed me pretty good, basically telling me I was an idiot!!!!!
So, I went to Cali during the Thanksgiving holiday to see my novia.  After seeing what you guys wrote i figured I needed to check everything out, like my novia in person, meet her parents, spend some time with her, and  check out where we are getting married on December 16th.  First of all....What a woman!!!!  She was everything I thought she was.  A beautiful, sweet and professional woman. She is unbelievable.  We stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel while I was there. We recieved excellent service and were treated like VIPs.  It was very nice.  
We ate out with her parents every night of my stay (@ La Frugata and Rodozio).  They are great people.  They were so very happy that I decided to come to Cali before the wedding weekend.  They wanted to meet me and make sure I was the right man for there daughter.  They were extremely nice and warm and welcomed me into there family.
On Saturday, we went to see the restuarant where we will get married and also look at the flowers, decorations and cake my novia had selected.  After my last post, you guys said that I was getting ripped off..... that I could get married for much less than the amount it was actually costing me.  Well you  guys were right !!!!!  I could get married for much less, but not for the kind of wedding we are having.  Just the flowers she selected would cost over $ 5,000.00 here.  It will be unbelievable and the nicest wedding I will ever attend!!!!!
About Cali.  What a warm and wonderful city.  Everyone is very nice.  The city is really awesome.  We did allot of shopping while I was there. We went to Chippi Chappi Mall, Uni-Centro, and my favorite La Catorce.  The women are unbelievable.  The only way I describe them is.... " You know that one girl that walks into the night club that every man in the place stares at and wants to get with?  Well, that girl is 9 out of 10 girls in Cali."  The night life is fun as well.  We went to some video bars on Sixth Street.  I reccomend Barclays.  That place was allot of fun.
Anyway, what a fast trip.  It was wonderful.  I am happy that I went, because now I really know I am doing the right thing.
All the guys that read this and have not been to Cali should pack your bags and GO!!!!  The women are everything that you hear.  WOW!!!
If any of you guys are going to be in Cali on December 16th, I am getting married at 4:pm at Rodizio de Brasil Restuarant (I think it was in Jardin???).  Come on buy and have a beer and a drink on me!!!!!!

Nrvana

[H2-Oh]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

Congrads Nrvana, I hope things work out for you. Now for the cold shower. I agree with Wayne. Lay out the ground rules with this lady of yours. You are in the driver seat. American men have a great rep. for being the best husbands in Colombian womens eyes. If you tell her how it is with you. finances,her working in the states, sending money back to her family, how many time a year she can return to Colombia, stuff, you know. Then notice her reaction. See if she wants to work with you or dictate to you.
 Remember, it's ALOT easier getting married in Colombia then getting divorced. Good luck.

H2-Oh

[pack]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

hey nrvana congrats!!

[JunFan]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

I remember your earlier posts.  I really like your story, glad it is working out for you.

Do you plan on going to Bogota right after the wedding?

Congrats...Mike

[JeffA]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

I met my wife initially on friendfinder... we spent a good deal of time and more than a few visits talking and learning about each other, but I think I was ready to marry her after about 3 days-- maybe 3 minutes, and everything i learned was positive.

Make sure you apply for the marriage visa-- it's free, but you can't get married without it! Make a list NOW of the papers you'll need, and send the ones they need down there, (stuff needs to be translated, you need the notario to see everything, and then there's the apostille copies...
you're gonna be a busy man with papers during the next few weeks, but congrats, and good luck!

[Wayne]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

Hi Nirrrvanna...

Thanks for posting, even with the previous experience you had with us.

I normally don't like to give out advice on these boards because I certainly am not an expert.

But, I'm going to comment on this one.

I am just getting out of debt now that my ex-russian wife of 4 years has been gone for about a year.

I know that when you are looking into those deep beautiful eyes, it's easy to just let go and let things slide financially.

But you really should set a precedent right now on the shopping sprees and unneccesary spending.  You mentioned in your post that you spent alot of time shopping in Cali.  I hope that this is not a small window into your future with this women.  As for her planning an expensive wedding without really understanding your financial situation....that would also concern me.

I would think that you would want to marry a women who understands that "new things" really don't bring long term happiness, and contentment.  My deepest dissapointment with my RW was that she was superficial.  I hope your girl is different.

My friend, if you are like me, you want to feel like this women loves you for yourself and not what is in it for her financially.  If she is a spender without regard for your economic situation, this WILL NOT make you feel special.

Now is the time to find out about all these things.  You haven't jumped out of the plane yet, it is still taxiing for takeoff.  Make sure your parachute is packed properly before you jump!

Before you step up to the alter, discuss exactly how much she will be able to spend when she gets to the US before she starts working and contributing.  Lay your financial situation right out there, so there is no misunderstandings after it is too late to correct.

I believe it is not about the volume of $ spent, it is about her feelings, respect, and concern for you together as a couple.

Nirv, I did the same thing as you.  One meeting and bam-K-1, waiting period and 70 days later, I was standing at the alter making the biggest mistake of my life.  If I would have just taken a little more time to find out if we were actually compatible, I could have avoided all the pain.

You really must understand that with the small amount of time you actually spent with this girl, she is a stranger.  Chemistry, heat, messages from God, fate, and other feelings, seem to always block this simple fact.

I sincerely wish you and your new wife much happiness.  I'm sure this is a really fun time for you right now.  I've been there, and that 1st 6 mos. was the greatest time of my life.

I leave for Cali tomorrow morning for my 1st adventure.  I sincerely hope I won't leave my brain in the airplane overhead compartment again like I did in Moscow.

Respectfully,
Wayne

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by Wayne on Nov 29, 2001

Wayne, leaving tomorrow? Well have a great trip!

[pack]

... in response to Re: Re: My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!Wayn..., posted by Cali vet on Nov 29, 2001

hey vet you frequent that resturant that nrvana mentioned dont you? isnt that the one you showed me down the street and around the corner from LI ?

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!..., posted by pack on Nov 29, 2001

Pack I've seen it but never eaten there.

[pack]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: My quick trip to Cali !!..., posted by Cali vet on Nov 29, 2001

sorry maybe i was confusing you with someone else? maybe it was jo??? someone told me the food was great there.

[Hoda]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001


Another happy Cali-camper (Kenfer gonna be pissed...lol)

I ate at that restaurant several times...SLAMMIN!! Be careful of that sangria (very sneaky...lol). I didn't flame you before. Although you did have a unique approach. I decided to sit back & wait to see the outcome before commenting. Glad it's all working out for you. If it's not too personal, how many people do you plan on attending your reception? The restaurant you mentioned, is one of the finalist for the location of me & Stivalis's reception. The manager is a true gentleman. The staff & service are excellent. If I can swing it, you can count on me being there. I'll keep in touch...

Congrats again....Hoda

[nrvana]

... in response to Congrats....., posted by Hoda on Nov 29, 2001

The restuarant we are haveing the wedding at is really nice.  The food is also great.  But, we are not dealing with a man, we have been dealing with the owner...a woman.  She has been really nice.  I have let my novia and her father conduct all the business with all the different people doing things with our wedding.  As soon as these people see my blonde hair and blue eyes, the price goes up.  This happened with the flowers.  Me and my novia went to pay our final payment for the flowers and the price suddenly jumped.  We paid the lady.... but Claudias father went back over to her place and got the extra money back.  Unbelievable!!!!!  
We are having 70 people at our wedding.  We are not having them served Rodizio style because the price was just too much, even though it is a third of what it would be here.  If I can give you any further info just ask!!!
I hope you do have time to come on by and have a drink with us.

Sincerely,

Jon
Nrvana

[jim c]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

I don't recall if I flamed you, but who ever did it, it worked you went and met her. Congratulations. I am glad you are happy.I believe the restaurant is three blocks from my apartment although I have never eaten there. I will take you up on that beer and I am never grumpy in Cali. JIM C

PS it would be nice to know your real name My E mail is Barristerh@aol.com

[HappyIdiot]

... in response to My quick trip to Cali !!!!!!, posted by nrvana on Nov 29, 2001

First of all, congratulations and good luck on your future happiness.  It is very gracious of you to invite people.

I guess I wanted to mention a couple of things.  One, that people may have been addressing the idea or approach, rather than flaming you personally.  The other thing, it will almost certainly be a strain during the waiting period before your new spouse gets here, stop by here now and again.  Hopefully that will help.